General Chat

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in East London . A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.


The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
" McTavish , Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.
" Waddington-Smythe , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
"O'Malley, Ireland ," he says, "Fencing".

Because the real Olympics are squeeky clean here are some suggestions to cater for the communities that feel left out!
Alternative Olympics.....

Identifying the Hoodie

snatching the handbag

Heading the shot for budding footballers

synchronised diving in the penalty area

catching the javelin for the pickpocket echelon,

twocking car races,

wielding the hammer for window shoppers

bypassing the lecky meter for the "C" farmers

........calling up the police chase relay, comprising,

the radio call, to setting up the car chase,the roadblock, deploying the stinger, to launching India 99, to apprehending,and smacking the wrists of the crims!

using the enforcer in the least number of strikes to open the door


Bob

there must be more..........?

There was

there is

If only......

Not necessarily London based...

Throwing the brick

Hawking the longest gob

Lobbing the empty beer/cider can (they've been practising over my trees)

Foghorning - Loudest shout of 'Oi -You'

Walking and texting in a straight line

Who can take up the most pavement whilst talking on a mobile
alternatively
How many pedestrians can a mobile phone user inconvenience?

Mowing down pedestrians /how many pedestrians can you immobilise using a 'mobility'scooter.
A good one this-could be in the paralympics AND create more competitors for the next paralympics!!!