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Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them,
they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea...Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely,
The World
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,
United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of
shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was
here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
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Dear They sent my Census form back!!
In answer to the question, 'Do you have any dependants?', I put, 'Asylum seekers, gypos, smack heads, unemployable bastards, the cast of The Jeremy Kyle Show, Northern Rock, RBS and half of Eastern Europe!'
...apparently this wasn't an acceptable answer.
what should I say now ?
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