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Mac sent these to me and I just had to add them - they made me laugh so much especially the one about the car with hailstone dents.
Apologies to all blondes here.
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have
the head on the wrong end & I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might have to think twice about this one.
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her
index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor
asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
your finger?'
'No, slly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & then I
thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000..00 to get
my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a loud
noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it To a
repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard,
& all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees &started blowing
into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, & still
nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde
told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in
order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hellooooo!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!
A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk
to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she
replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed
away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
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I am sitting here laughing away. But then I am not blonde, unless you call silver/gray blonde.
Huia.
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I'm blonde - or was (need a little help nowadays). I always enjoy blonde jokes.
Pat
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I became a blonde a few years back to cover the grey, I need to do the roots soon, haven't done them for months lol but then I saw somewhere that grey is very fashionable this year and lots of models are being turned into grey headed girls!
Not sure whether to be fashionable or disguise the grey lol but did laugh at the jokes so had to share them.
Lizx
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My mum went to the hairdresses last thursday and a woman had her grey roots died black so it looked like she was not grey when her blonde hair grew out
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Agatha is that for real or another joke???
Liz loved the hailstones one!
Grey might be fashionable but I guess it is OK if you have a young face to go with it. If not it just emphasises that youa re a silver surfer I think. (yes I have my grey rinsed). :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
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Still dithering, might get my hair cut shorter and then rethink on colour, at the mo my hair is longer than usual and I am not sure about that either, think shorter makes me look younger (hopefully)
Lizx
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Its not a Joke its for real, the woman wanted people to think she was not naturally grey.
There are some very vain people out there.
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