General Chat

About 23 years ago I traced my birth mother with the help of social services, following a couple of letters and photos I felt that me walking into her life could cause her some issue mainly because her 2 small children and some family members knew nothing of my existence and she had mentioned that her husband wasn't keen on our contact so I never wrote again.
She has always been in my thoughts and since watching 'Long Lost Families' it has re-ignited all those feelings I have tried to hide for so long.
Using this site I have now traced my mother, sister and brother they have family tree's on the site. Maybe my birth mother has since told my siblings of my existence and that's why she is on here building her family tree?
I want desperately to send a message, but am frightened out of my wits - what shall I do?

If your mum has her tree on here then why not send her a message She may have since told her family of you. In 23 years things may have changed a lot.

If it only her children who have the tree then I personally wouldn't message them . Can you try to find a current address for her .

By the way wheres your board name??

Hi - I registered yesterday so i'm unsure what a board name is or how I get one? In 10 hours I have managed to find 2 tree's one owned by my mother and one by my sister so I do have the option to send message to my mother. I have also tracked them on Facebook along with my brother and have seen pictures of my sister and brother for the first time ever last night...I am still a little in disbelief as I didn't think I would find them this quick.

now figured out the board name :D

you go into your account and put a name in the christian name section. Capricorn 1970 looks good anyway

Ah we crossed posts!!

Theres two ways to take this

1 she will be well pleased to have found you again and you will have a fair relationship with the lady whom gave you life

2 she will not answer and will reject you ...which you then to deal with but you may be strong enough and have a lovely supportive family to help you get through that.

BUT if you dont try you will never know and then you will regret not trying whatever the outcome

Good LUCK and talk to someone in your family so you have someone to talk to and hold your hand through this

Hi Capricorn,

I would send a private message on GR to your mother, keep it simple. Just incase her family read her PM's just state who you are by name and that you would like contact again.

23 years ago you walked away for her good, I hope now that she walks to you.

Good luck and no matter how it turns out you will have support from here so don't lose touch with us.

Do they have you in their trees...or at least does your mother?


jax

@ jax - I am new at navigating this site so i'm unsure how to find out if either of them do...the fact that they both have family tree's on here gives me great hope.
@Uzzi In Sunshine - I have taken your advice and have sent a PM to my mother and have kept it simple :-) I'm unsure, but once you send a PM will an email be sent to her email address that she used when she registered with the GR site as well so she could be notified that she has a PM without having to log into here to see that she has been sent a message???

I will keep you posted -

If you search for you own name and year of birth in the search trees you will see if any of them have you..

Yes if her email has not changed she will recieve your message without having to log in

jax

Just to qualify what Jax said - she will be notified on her email account that she has been sent a message from (your ownership name if different from board name) but will have to log on to read it.

You can always check to see if she has read it by going into your 'sent' message box. Look at the envelope next to the PM.

Purple = not read
White = has been opened.

Fingers crossed that you get a positive outcome this time.

@+++DetEcTive+++ - thanks that's a good tip regarding the coloured envelopes ;-)

Update: Envelope is showing as purple so she hasn't been in to read it yet