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SO HARD TO DO

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Claire

Claire Report 19 May 2011 05:42

i have just filled in the death details for my aunt Christine, she died at the age of 51 after a 4 1/2 yr battle with cancer
She died in Feb of this year and i have been putting off filling in the details, but knew i had to do it
And now i have, i cant stop crying

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 19 May 2011 06:52

Claire,
I am sorry for your loss. Your aunt Christine was obviously a very special person in your life and in time I hope the happy memories flood in to help with your sadness.

I know just how you feel about adding details.
Sometimes things are just too raw at the time.

I felt just the same after Mum died ( Dad had died back before I started on family research) I've just checked and realised that I still hadn't added Mum's details onto my computer and she died a few years ago now.

Gwyn

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 19 May 2011 08:29

My condolences Claire - I well remember filling in my dad's death details and it's heartbreaking.

Sue x

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 06:33

Christine was a amazing lady
so full of life

she was only 14 when i was born, and was more like a big sister to me than a aunt

she has left a huge hole in my family, awe are all heart broken but are staying strong for each other, and because that is what she would have wanted

we all have loads of fab memories of her, and often talk about all the fun times we had, she was always the life and soul of a family party, always the strong one ( i think thats why we find it so hard that she has gone)

when i get sad, i just tell myself that i was blessed to have had her in my life , i was one of the lucky ones who could call her my aunt, she will always be a big part of our lifes, and we will always have a big gap, but christine would want us to be happy, so smile and think of her, because i always had a smile on my face when i was with her

<3 <3 <3

DIZZI

DIZZI Report 20 May 2011 07:00

ITS VERY SAD,I HAD TO DO MY MUM THEN
TWO YEARS LATER MY GRAN AND TWO MORE YEARS MY DAD,
I WAS 23 FOR MUMS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 07:16

i have been doing the tree, for about 5 yrs, and in that time had to do my father in law, then grandma in law, then my niece who was still born, but i was not close to my f-in -l, my grandma in law was 95 and my niece was sad, but none was as hard to do as Christines, it broke my heart to do it

DIZZI

DIZZI Report 20 May 2011 08:15

YOU HAVE GOOD MEMORIES OF HER,
SO KEEP THEM FOREVER AND SHE WILL
BE REMEMBERED,,,,WITH LOVE

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 08:17

thank you dizzi
i will always keep them save, and take them out whenever i feling down, she could always make me smile

MaccollFan1

MaccollFan1 Report 20 May 2011 08:34

Claire, I am so sorry to hear about your aunt.

I totally understand that feeling. I had to fill in my granddad's details last month, and although it was hard it did help me to accept that he was gone, especially as the last time I saw him was over a week before he died.

It helped me to think that he is now reunited with all his other family who have passed on.

Matt

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 11:26

i think it helped me too
i at last at a real good cry, something that i was holding back on doing, trying to be strong for my mum and nan

Liz 47

Liz 47 Report 20 May 2011 12:10

So sorry to hear your news, I know how you feel, I had to do it for my parents.
Kind regards, Liz

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 20 May 2011 12:13

Just remember Claire - your aunty is in the breeze that ruffles your hair, the sun that shines on your face and in the leaves that fall from the trees....all around you.

Sue x

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 14:33

THANKS SUE
THATS LOVELY

Jean (Monmouth)

Jean (Monmouth) Report 20 May 2011 15:01

Our son has been gone for ten years andI do not usually find it difficult to talk about him, but for some reason today when asked if we had any children i was crying immediatly, so embarrassing for the person who had asked the question. Das been gone for 40 years and we still bring him into the conversation, the memories do not fade.

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 20 May 2011 15:12

I know how you feel .I put off for a long time adding my parents death details cos somehow that meant they had gone! A bit illogical i know but as we dont live in the area of my birth anymore it seemed as if they were still at home we just weren't visiting.
What was maybe even more of a sadness was then adding the deaths of my elder sis and bro who died in 2000 and 2001. Made my own immortality seem even more fragile somehow

I remember at our sisters funeral my next sister down saying to me "you are the eldest now" !! made me feel she was saying its your turn next !! I remember replying NO I will never be the eldest !! :-(

maxiMary

maxiMary Report 20 May 2011 15:45

I empathise too, and yes I am the older of two sibs, I felt that way when Mum died 10 years ago, but harder still was when I entered the details of my son's death as a newborn, it still reduces me to tears, at the most unexpected times, 38 years later.
Hugs,Claire, we're walking with you,
Mary XXX

*** Mummo ***

*** Mummo *** Report 20 May 2011 19:03

Claire l know what you mean and how your feeling,
this week l actually put my Mums death on my family tree ( she died last July) and l did my younger brothers who died in February this year, l found it so hard to do, had tears rolling down as l entered the details and am finding it hard today as would have been my brothers 56th birthday but l have done it. :(((

UzziAndHerDogs

UzziAndHerDogs Report 20 May 2011 19:52

Claire I feel for you ..I am glad that I think I will only have to do that bit once on my mother.

Suemaid was right with
SueMaid

Just remember Claire - your aunty is in the breeze that ruffles your hair, the sun that shines on your face and in the leaves that fall from the trees....all around you.

Sue x

I can't imagine having to do it for a person I love

take care

Claire

Claire Report 20 May 2011 19:53

my heart goes out to you, rip your mum and brother

Fiona

Fiona Report 21 May 2011 12:03

Claire
so sorry for your loss,
I lost my dad on Christmas Day, 2010 he was 82 and suffered of Dementia for 11 years.
I have photo's of him in my front bedroom where I sit at the computer, and it is still hard when people come up to me and ask how am I doing.
I lost my mum New years Eve 1999, I miss her terribly. and now with dad going on Christmas day, there will always be a sad feeling over the festive holidays every year for my family.
But we have to remember the happy times with our loved ones.

RIP to all our loved ones <3