General Chat

Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!

  • The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
  • You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
  • And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
  • The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.

Quick Search

Single word search

Gift subscriptions

Genes Reunited gift subscription

Do you know someone interested in discovering their family history?

You can now buy a gift subscription to Genes Reunited so they can research their family tree.

Buy gift or redeem gift


  • New posts
  • No new posts
  • Thread closed
  • Stickied, new posts
  • Stickied, no new posts

such a sad day for me.

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


AnnMarieG Report 11 Dec 2012 15:47

I heard today from a lifetime friends husband that she has demetia and is going downhill fast. We have known each other since infant school, some 60years ago now,were very good and close friends althrough school and through our teen years.Unfortunatly we have not seen one another for at least 30 yrs but have always kept in touch at xmas and birthdays.I feel really guilty now because I feel I should have made more of an effort to see her again before now.Why, oh why do we let things like this slip by us.She has only been remarried for the last 6 yrs and I really thought she had at last got a bit if happiness in her life as she has had quite a lot of knocks over the years.Sometimes life is so unfair and demetia is a very, very cruel disease. Sorry just had to get this out. :-( :-( :-( :-(


Jeniwren Report 11 Dec 2012 16:00

Hello AnnMarie, so sorry to read about your friend.
You have no reason to feel guilty, we all move on in life, we have families to care for, but you did keep in touch with her on birthdays and Christmas and I'm sure your friend appreciates this.
Remember all the happy times you shared as children, memories are very precious, keep them close to your heart.
Love to you.
Jean xx :-)


AnnMarieG Report 11 Dec 2012 16:14

Jean, Thank you so much for your kind words.It means a lot to me. :-) :-)


brummiejan Report 11 Dec 2012 16:25

That's very sad news isn't it.
Worth remembering that she will very likely hold onto her more distant memories for longest, and those are something to treasure - this certainly happened to my mother-in-law. Nobody can foresee the future can they, so don't feel guilty - it would have made no difference in the end.
Jan <3


Claddagh Report 11 Dec 2012 16:44

I can understand how you feel,my mother suffered from dementia, it was horrible to see her like that, but, as other say here, try to remember your friend how she was way back.It is a truly terrible disease!, so unfair.She will probably remember you from then, even though she doesn't (probably) know you as you are now. Think of the happy childhood and teen years you shared together
I am lucky in having a school friend with whom I have daily contact via mails and phone calls.We have been close friends since we met at grammer school in 1956. Lucky for both of us, we are still ok.Would really hate it if she (or I) developed dementia.
Take care of YOU!

Eileen x


AnnMarieG Report 11 Dec 2012 16:56

Thank you Jan and Eileen for you kind thoughts.I so wish I had kept in touch like you have Eileen but I cant change that.Demetia is my big fear as well. xx


~`*`Jude`*`~ Report 11 Dec 2012 17:09 sorry to hear this but you must'nt feel guilty, although l know exactly what you mean:(( goes on and these things happen, sadly!!

My friend from 40 yrs back has alzheimers, we had'nt had much contact for some years, just cards and the odd phone call, but always in my thoughts. l was lucky enough that they phoned me and told me the situation, l spoke to her too and they both came to stay loads of times. Her OH comes on his own now!!

jude x


SuffolkVera Report 11 Dec 2012 17:19


I can only echo what others have said. You mustn't feel guilty. My father had dementia and though he couldn't remember what had been said 5 minutes earlier, he always knew all the names of his early classmates, who had been his friends, what they had done in school etc. So even if your friend does not recognise you now, she might well remember you as you were and all the happy times you spent together. Take care,



AnnMarieG Report 11 Dec 2012 18:30

Thank you Jude & Vera.I really appreciate your replies. :-)