General Chat

As someone who is old, alone, and not in good health, I have a small bit of sympathy with your friend, but only a small bit. The rest is for you, Rose, as I think you have been helping her in every way. possible in the last two years and she still doesn't seem to be coping. Did her husband always 'deal with things' ie writing cheques, paying bills etc? She probably misses him a lot and is foundering. I don't know what to suggest and the words 'get a grip lady' and 'pull yourself together' certainly did not leave my mouth :-D

I have just left a 100 year old woman (I used to work for) and when I left she was practising her scales as I reminded her she used to be a semi-professional mezzo soprano.. She had forgotten.

Ageing and alone does not have to be frightening or lacking fun. Your friend needs to practise her scales and you need to stop mothering her, Rose dear.

Sorry if my post is not helpful and sounds brutal

<3

Thankyou Merlin :-)

Perhaps if its possible for her to meet the people who would help her and set her mind at rest. Hope all works out well.**M**.

Thankyou DET and Pat, I was just off googling what is available in her area, quite a lot at first glance including gardening. I will have to go up I think and try and persuade her to let me organise something.

Does she have a large garden?

An elderly lady with a large garden and a young father who lived in a council flat nearby came together in Nottingham.

He used part of the garden as an allotment, he kept all the garden tidy for her and she was able to have the vegetables she wanted from the crop. It worked very well.

:-)

Oh dear - £140 is deffinatley a rip off.

In our area there is a volunteers bureau - the gardening volunteers are made of genuine people with time on their hands, and youngsters who are supervised.

When enquiries were made a few years ago for an older 2nd cousin, they asked for £5 per visit.

If she won't accept anyone from an 'official' body, how about the local church? Help the Aged (or what ever their current name is) might be willing to help her with forms to see if she is entitled to assistance, and to take her to a day centre/luncheon club once a week.

It is possible to have a debit card with a signature only rather than the PIN number.

Merlin, Wisechild,

I've been banging my head against this brick wall for two years now, the problem is she doesn't want anyone who could actually help, to be involved, eg no CAB, no social worker, no carer ( even to do the shopping, she's been relying on a neighbour to take her but he is now ill also) volunteers may be dodgy if not outright criminal (I've explained about the CRB checks).

Even the thought of having her pension paid into the bank so she doesn't have to get it out of the PO sent her into a flat spin, though I explained she could then direct debit all her bills, she would still need cash for shopping, bank's too far, and she wouldn't cope with a debit card and pin number.... and so round in circles we go and get nowhere fast.

She needs to ask her GP to refer her to Social Services for help. Not necessarily Home Care, but other assistance.

Perhaps if she rang the CAB. they may know of some one or vollentry organisation who could do it for her. Or contact Errol The Sheep he seems to thrive on grass. :-D

Sorry, but I need to talk lol,

Ageing, it isn't fun! I've just come off the phone from a long call to my late mum's friend , lost her OH several years ago and isn't really coping ( I know, I've mentioned it before) and now her health isn't great and the doctors, nurses seem as useful as a chocolate teapot, she is worried about getting out to shop and pay bills, is fretful about bank security, all sorts, AND the 'gardener' is a con merchant in my opinion and because her grass is now long because he hasn't turned up for weeks wants to charge £140 to cut it :-| :-|

If you see a tired looking woman carrying a strimmer on the train between Shrewsbury and Merseyside or vice versa next week...it will be me lol.

Thankyou for listening, if you did lol, just venting...and coming to the conclusion it is no fun to be old but worse to be old AND alone, and even worse to be old, alone AND not used to dealing with things.