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Was hubby's second anniversary yesterday

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 25 Oct 2017 16:19

It's been a journey . Very lonely at times with lots of tears and just wondering at times why I am here and what is the purpose!!!

Miss him so much but wouldn't want him back as he was so poorly at the end

So have grandson here as he is on half term . We went to coffee morning at the local dobies garden centre with the U3A group I have joined.We went into Tesco after the meet and got some flowers with the shopping

We had some lunch then went to the local Catholic Church to give the flowers in memory of Michael
It wasn't open but someone was in the presbytery and they opened the doors

Put the flowers in water for them to be dealt with the next day
Looked in the remembrance book that is turned every day and there was hubby 2015
Was told the days name would have been commerated at the morning mass

Was asked if we wanted to say a prayer but I,m not catholic so didn't now what was ok
Grandson and I said . Rest in peace grandad we love and miss you

Am glad I was able to do this as I wasn't able last year .

Grandson was so lovely . He thanked the lady for opening up the church and said I love my grandad and I miss him

This is the lad who has learning difficulties

I am not catholic but hubby was and they were so supportive of him when he was having mobility problems and when he was home but bed bound and then when he passed away
They supported me too even though I,m not catholic


Von Report 25 Oct 2017 16:22

Sending <3 <3 <3
Thinking of you <3

 Sue In Yorkshire.

Sue In Yorkshire. Report 25 Oct 2017 17:02

Thinking of you Shirley,take extra care of yourself.Hugs <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3



AnninGlos Report 25 Oct 2017 18:59

Thinking of you Shirley you have done so well it must be so hard after all the years you were together. What a lovely grandson you have and you are right to be proud of him as his granddad would be too, sending you ((((hugs))) <3 <3 <3


Nyx Report 25 Oct 2017 19:12

I'm glad you are finding support Shirley, from your lovely grandson and your husband's church.

That is what any religion should do imho, regardless of whether you adhere to it or not, offer support where it is needed to whoever needs it. When my mum died prayers were said for her in a Catholic church ( a friend) though she was a lapsed Catholic, and also prayers said in a synagogue by another friend. It is my hope ( I won't go as far as saying belief ) that God hears prayers whoever makes them.

I think probably your purpose here (and don't we all wonder sometimes?) is to continue to be a loving grandmother and to enjoy life as much as you can, as a tribute to your husband also :-) <3


**Ann** Report 25 Oct 2017 19:33

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


maggiewinchester Report 25 Oct 2017 21:23

What a lovely Grandson. He may have educational 'learning difficulties', but he obviously doesn't have loving difficulties. <3 <3
Stay strong Shirley, there are many people willing to support you XXXX


MR_MAGOO Report 25 Oct 2017 21:32

<3 <3 <3

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 26 Oct 2017 03:00

Hello Shirley

I know how much my Mum missed my Dad after he died and he too was very poorly at the end. Although she had wonderful neighbours who popped in often and I and my brothers visited weekly or more often, she was still lonely and couldn't drive so couldn't get out much towards the end unless she was picked up.

I think you are definitely still needed and while you can manage to get out and about and help with your grandson as well as enjoy him, cos he sounds a lovely lad, you shouldn't feel low or worthless. Anyway, we would miss you too, we have lost many lovely friends over the years and you always post interesting things and have useful things to add.

Maybe it's a bit of SAD, because of the shorter days. I know I am feeling down as the evenings get darker earlier and the sun shines less.

Chin up. Shirley



BrendafromWales Report 26 Oct 2017 08:27

Thinking of you Shirley cant believe it’s 2 years!

I know exactly how you feel ,and the answer,I find,is to get out when you can.
It is hard to do this at times especially in the winter,but once outside your door it doesn’t seem as bad.

You do remember the good times as the years go on,but it is still hard especially at anniversaries,

<3 <3

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 26 Oct 2017 08:38

Thank you all folks

I do get a bit depressed from time to time . Maybe a bit of boredom creeps in too

I know I should get out a bit more . Spend too much time with my feet up and tinkering on the I Pad . It doenst help that I have arthritis in both knees although the right is more painful at times
Also have lower back problems that has its own agenda from day to day

Having grandson here in the hollies gets me on my toes,literally, as he needs constant one to one attention and we do try to get out more to keep him stimulated

When I get down I do think I am just treading water waiting to join hubby which is depression of course but I know he would say don't be stupid get on and enjoy your life it's not over yet

I have two lovely adult grandchildren as well . One is married and has 4 children all growing up and they call me big nan as in the hierarchy of the family tree
Also have younger siblings and a wonderful sister in law and nieces and family from Michael's side so I am blessed with family who all care about me . Often get texts to say hi how are you doing

Soo I am ok . ticking over and doing look ups both on here and on the BHC board on Facebook and enjoying the search as if they are my own bingo moments when I find info .

Am not down and out yet !!!!!! Just get a blip from time to time . Must be the same for everyone who has lost a loved one




AnninGlos Report 26 Oct 2017 09:28

Shirley :-) :-) :-) It probably helps to let off steam on here too.

Tenerife Sun

Tenerife Sun Report 26 Oct 2017 10:08

Thinking of you Shirley as, like many others on here, I know just how you feel. I hope it gets easier for you as time goes on xx


Barbra Report 26 Oct 2017 12:16

Your Dear hubby will be in your Heart forever keep the memories close & he will never be forgotten ((((((Hug)))))))) for you & your Dear Grandson ,xx <3


Elizabethofseasons Report 26 Oct 2017 16:57

My dear Shirley,

Sending you many caring thoughts.

Please take gentle care of yourself,
Love to you and your family
Elizabeth, EOS