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7 year itch?

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Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 8 Dec 2017 06:32

On Wednesday o.h.'s son aged 36 moved out of the house he and his wife, and 2 kids, recently downsized to. For nearly two years he's been telling her he didn't love her anymore but doesn't seem to know why or have anyone else. Seven years ago they got engaged, got pregnant ( by choice but it happened very quickly) and got married all in 6 months. He works away a lot and seems to have withdrawn from some of his friends. He was never a very open person but seemed to have changed for the better since he met S.

We don't see them very much as they live miles away and in fact due to various circumstances hadn't seen them since March. I think now it will be even harder to keep the link going which is sad. It's so hard on d.i.l, who will be 40 close to Christmas. Naturally we will support her as much as we can and will be there for the son too but if he won't talk we can't do much.

What with the other son in N.Y. not keeping touch, o.h. is very despondent.

I am so glad my son is locally based and isn't likely to move far away.



BrianW Report 8 Dec 2017 10:12

Is your son experiencing mild depression, perhaps?
It's really sad but families can lose touch so easily.
My brother went away to university about 1965, moved to the NE of England when he graduated, got married up there and has two daughters who are now c. 30 years old.
He doesn't seem interested in maintaining contact, we get no Christmas or birthday cards in response to what we have sent and I suppose I've seen him less than half a dozen times in that period.
I've not seen my nieces since they were babies and doon't know what they are doing.
Maybe he'll come to my funeral.


Caroline Report 8 Dec 2017 11:41

It's all very sad but sometimes no matter how hard you try there's nothing you can do for some people. As Brian said it might be depression.


AnninGlos Report 8 Dec 2017 11:52

That is sad Liz, hopefully you can maintain contact with DiL so that you keep the contact with the children, sad for them to lose touch with grandparents.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 8 Dec 2017 19:25

Brian, it's not my son, thankfully, but my partner's son. There is a thread of autistic spectrum behaviour in the family (o.h's nephew is so bad he can't hold down a job or cope well with everyday life) and I have always thought the son in question had some autistic tendencies, due to his lack of social skills and attude but he had become more open and 'warmer' since meeting his wife.

I wondered if he is depressed but it's difficult to get anything out of him at all. The place he has moved into is only a one bed house so I don't know where he will put the children when they visit, maybe he doesn't plan to have them sleep over. The house is only a mile from the main home. Di.l. is staying in touch by email atm and I do phone her sometimes. As is typical I think it's me who arranges visits and keeps contact going.

I am sorry about your brother, Brian. One of my brothers is only down the road but has made it clear he and his family aren't much bothered about keeping in touch with me or our other brother. He was always the odd one out (his own words) when we were young and didn't make friends then or now. Nowt as queer as folks, eh?

Time will tell what's happening and hopefully we can stay in touch with son, d.i.l. and grandkids (7 and 4)