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The British Newspaper Archive

British Newspaper Archive

Read about historical events at the time they were happening. Perhaps you'll discover your ancestor in their local newspaper?

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Just seen this on FB

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 2 Jan 2018 12:43

Had to post it!

Satnav – .

I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car. A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are. I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life. It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five". It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene. It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear. And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device. For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice. It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught. So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed. It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff, I only wish that now and then, I could turn the b****r off. :-D :-D :-D :-D

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 2 Jan 2018 12:53

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Mersey

Mersey Report 2 Jan 2018 13:09

:-D :-D :-D

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 2 Jan 2018 13:09

:-D :-D :-D :-D love it

SuffolkVera

SuffolkVera Report 2 Jan 2018 15:23

Ann, that’s been doing the rounds for a few years and Pam Ayers has said that she didn’t write it.

Still funny though :-D :-D

Kense

Kense Report 2 Jan 2018 15:24

:-D :-D :-D
Checking on the Internet it seems that Pam Ayres denies having written it.

Sharron

Sharron Report 2 Jan 2018 15:32

I am wondering if my OH wrote it.

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 2 Jan 2018 16:22

:-D :-D :-D :-D

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 2 Jan 2018 16:27

sharron, or mine. I will take her name off it but it certainly sounds like her. I had not seen it before so apologies to those who have,

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 2 Jan 2018 23:36

reminds me of the portly gent on the seaside card, saying to a young lad,(presumably named (William)

"I have a little willy too, but I've not seen him for some time!"

Tawny

Tawny Report 3 Jan 2018 00:21

:-D :-D :-D