General Chat

Well, Christmas has already started in Oz so I just want to wish all of you, including the RR'r who has resumed activity over the last few days, a safe and merry Christmas.

To all who have contributed to my threads, or started threads that I have contributed to, a big thank you.

Christmas Day in the Workhouse

Anon.

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
The merriest day of the year
The paupers and the prisoners
Were all assembled there.

In came the Christmas pudding
When a voice that shattered glass
Said, “We don’t want your Christmas pudding
So stick it there with the rest of the unwanted presents.”

The workhouse master then arose
And prepared to carve the duck
He said “Who wants the parson’s nose
And the prisoners shouted “You have it yourself, sir.”

The vicar brought his Bible
And read out little bits.
Said one old crone at the back of the hall
“This man gets on very well with everybody.”

The workhouse mistress then began
To hand out Christmas parcels.
The paupers tore the wrappers off
And began to wipe their eyes, which were full of tears.

The master rose to make a speech
But just before he started
The mistress, who was fifteen stone,
Gave three loud cheers and nearly choked herself.

And all the paupers then began
To pull their Christmas crackers.
One pauper held his too low down
And blew off both his paper hat and the man’s next to him.

A steaming bowl of white bread sauce
Was handed round to some.
An aged gourmet then called aloud
“This bread sauce tastes like it was made by a continental chef.”

Mince pie with custard sauce was next
And each received a bit.
One pauper said “The mince pie’s nice
But the custard tastes like the bread sauce we had in the last verse!”

The mistress dishing out the food
Dropped custard down her front.
She cried “Aren’t I a silly girl!”
And they answered “You’re a
perfect picture as always ma’am !”

“This pudding “, said the master,
“Is solid, hard and thick.
How am I going to cut it?”
And a man cried, “Use your penknife sir, the one with the pearl handle.”

The mistress asked the vicar
To entertain his flock.
He said, “What would you like to see ?”
And they cried, “Let’s see your conjuring tricks, they’re always worth watching.”

“Your reverence, may I be excused ?”
Said one benign old chap.
“I don’t like any conjuring tricks.
I’d sooner have a carol or two around the fire”

So then they all began to sing
Which shook the workhouse walls.
“Merry Christmas!” cried the master,
And the inmates shouted “Best of luck to you as well sir!”






:-D :-D :-D

Dear Allan

Hello

Happy Christmas to you and Mrs Allan.

Take gentle care
Very best wishes to you and your family
Elizabeth, EOS
xx

:-D :-D :-D If that doesn't rattle the dreaded you know who nothing will

Happy Christmas

It's escaped attention over the last few years, Caroline ;-)

I do have another version, but I'm not game to post it :-D :-D

Thank you EOS, I wish yourself and your family a very Merry and safe Christmas

:-D :-D I needed a good laugh Allan thanks for that A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours (a couple of hours before we to Christmas day over here in the u.k).

Thanks, ShelleyRose. Your good wishes are heartily reciprocated :-D :-D

Merry Christmas Allan and family. Enjoy the day. :-D

Thanks, Mr_MAGOO :-D

Love the poem! :-D :-D :-D

Merry Christmas! <3

Merry Christmas.

Lizx

Merry Christmas Allan :-D :-D <3 <3

Merry Christmas from Glasgow, bonnie Scotland.

Brian

Merry Christmas Mr and Mrs Allan. :-D <3

Hope you had a lovely RED;-) day Allan! :-D

Happy Christmas Everyone :-)