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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:47

Where do Whales get weighed?

A whale weigh station

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:46

What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?

Cockadoodaldoo

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:44

What do you get when you cross a sheep dog with a rose?

Collie flower

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:42

Boy wanted to trace gas leaks with lighted match. Must be willing to travel.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:41

Bulldog for sale. Eats anything, loves children.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 23 Mar 2019 17:32

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Luca

Luca who?

Luca through the keyhole and you’ll see

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Mar 2019 12:54

:-D :-D to all

Allan

Allan Report 22 Mar 2019 21:43

My Wife has a black belt in cooking.

One chop and your dead

Dermot

Dermot Report 22 Mar 2019 20:19

Out of the mouths of babes & sucklings comes all manner of things - usually smelly puke.

Kense

Kense Report 22 Mar 2019 16:54

Arial went into a bar.

"Get out" said the barman "We don't serve your type here".

Dermot

Dermot Report 22 Mar 2019 16:50

A man stumbled into a bar & exclaims; "Ouch! That hurt"!

It was an iron bar.

Kense

Kense Report 22 Mar 2019 16:44

A sandwich goes into a bar.

"Get out" says the barman "We don't serve food here".

Dermot

Dermot Report 22 Mar 2019 07:09

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

He had low elf-esteem. :-)

Allan

Allan Report 21 Mar 2019 23:52

I used to have a fear of walking past horse chestnut trees, but I’ve now conkered it.

Dermot

Dermot Report 21 Mar 2019 10:25

A woman sees a small boy leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette & drinking nips from a hip flask.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" enquires the woman.

"School!? - says the boy. "You've got to be joking! I'm only four"!

Caroline

Caroline Report 21 Mar 2019 00:39

:-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 20 Mar 2019 23:40

I've just been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.


The doctor said I have feefiphobia

Allan

Allan Report 14 Mar 2019 23:53

Don’t you love eye jokes, the cornea the better




Dermot

Dermot Report 13 Mar 2019 10:10

"Why is the new baby just like daddy"?

"It is bald, sleepy & uneducated".

Allan

Allan Report 13 Mar 2019 01:28



OH had an accident in the car yesterday.

She told the police that the person she hit was drinking beer and on the phone when the accident occurred

The police told OH that the man was perfectly entitled to do that in his own living room.

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