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Stupid or naive

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnnMarieG

AnnMarieG Report 19 Jun 2019 11:20

I really didn't realise how lonely it can be to be a carer.

I am my husbands carer and sometimes feel as if I am all alone in the world.

I have lovely family but on a day to day basis its only me and him.

He has become increasingly frail due to Parkinsons, COPD, type 2 diabetus and quite a few other problems.

I have the utmost highest regards to all the carers out there that have been caring for years and not complaining.

I stupidly thought that being a carer for my husband I was just going to do all the things I had done for him for all our married life not realising that it was going to be a lot more than that.

I am not complaining about my lot in life as I have had a fairly good one with lots of ups and downs as have most people.

Sorry, just having a really down time at the moment. I'm sure I will get on a more even keel once I accept that the life we had together is over and I just have to accept the life we have now.

Thanks for listening to an old moaner. :-(

Rambling

Rambling Report 19 Jun 2019 11:24

Not stupid or naive, no one really knows how hard it is until they are doing it themselves. Try and get help if you can, and remember to look after yourself as much as is possible.

Sharron

Sharron Report 19 Jun 2019 13:37

This is a wonderful place to off-load. I shared many a by-passing catheter with the lovely people on here and they saw me through to the next one.

The one thing I would advise is to do it your way which not be the way that anybody else does it. You know him better than anybody.

Dermot

Dermot Report 19 Jun 2019 13:47

'Caring For The Carers' - a privately published book I remembered reading many years ago.

supercrutch

supercrutch Report 19 Jun 2019 15:57

I can only say how much I admire your devotion and determination. I looked after my sister during her last few weeks and even that was a strain both mentally and physically.

I got through it with help from my GP on the phone (260 miles away), family and friends. I was unprepared for the emotional roller coaster, feeling needed and then not needed, helpful and unhelpful, compassionate then heartless - all for completing the tasks required to keep someone as comfortable as possible.

I hope you can get the support you need

Sue x

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 19 Jun 2019 17:22

We watched and supported our daughter when she cared for her husband until he died and it was hard enough watching her so I do admire all those who act as carers. Feel free to come on here when you are down and I am sure your OH appreciates all you do even if he doesn’t say so

AnnMarieG

AnnMarieG Report 20 Jun 2019 09:18

Thank you all for your kind messages and support.
You are all like a family on here to me.

Hopefully today will be a better day.
The sun is shining, dentist later then out for a spot of lunch, hopefully.

Thank you all again. xx

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 20 Jun 2019 09:31

No AnnMarie, you are not alone.... <3

Madge

Madge Report 20 Jun 2019 09:42

AnnMarie ask your GP about support for carers.

Andysmum

Andysmum Report 20 Jun 2019 16:56

I have just googled it and there are lots of choices, but a good place to start is AgeUK.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIp_GJ2bT44gIV2uFRCh2GwAjfEAAYAiAAEgIuSvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Elizabethofseasons

Elizabethofseasons Report 22 Jun 2019 20:20

Dear AnnMarie <3

Take gentle care
Elizabeth, EOS
xx

SuffolkVera

SuffolkVera Report 22 Jun 2019 22:15

As Madge says, AnnMarie, have a word with your GP to see what support they give. OH and I were at our surgery on Thursday and they had a notice up that said something like:

Are You A Carer?

Tell us if you are a carer. We can offer you support.

Maybe your surgery does something similar. Try to take care of yourself as well. Thinking of you <3

Sharron

Sharron Report 22 Jun 2019 23:17

It should get you priority for appointments and all the jabs going.

AnnMarieG

AnnMarieG Report 23 Jun 2019 14:09

Thank you all for your suggestions and kind thoughts.

Sharron, we do get all the jabs going.but to get an appointment to actually see a doctor now is like pulling hens teeth. I can usaually get a telephone app for a few weeks time but that is not the same as seeing them.

I am waiting for a call from the Parkinsons nurse sometime next week so I hope they can help a little.

Thank you all again. <3

Sharron

Sharron Report 23 Jun 2019 20:26

Make sure thy are told you are a carer.


If the Parkinsons nurse is anything like the stroke nurse she will have an orbit like Halley's comet.