General Chat

Apologies if this has been on before.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

I particularly like " I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me."

:-D

I love the last one but they are all good! :-D

Thank you all, I copied them, they were too good to pass by :-D <3

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Some way back a forum member from Wales had the patience and kindness to teach me online on this forum how to cut, copy and paste. THANK YOU AGAIN.
It made my enjoyment derived from my PC and these forums much greater.
Enabled me to contribute more. :-D <3

I love he had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed. But they are all funny.

Certainly did first time all day - Its a hard life in this job - lovely for a little light relief.