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Parents, what are they "owed"?

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Lyndi

Lyndi Report 23 Jan 2020 20:01

Our children owe us nothing. Anything I did for my children was done willingly and with no expectation of pay back in my later years (umm, that's now lol). I did not have children as an insurance policy for care.

Years ago families often stayed living closer together, so popping a few houses or even a few streets away to help out was easier. Nowadays families are often many miles apart, and with today's lifestyles it is more difficult to help out on a day to day basis.

I had no interest in watching the programme, but Mr Markel is somewhat deluded if he thinks the Royal family owe him. What is it that he has supposedly been through that makes him think that?

Dermot

Dermot Report 23 Jan 2020 19:59

Responsible parenting in a morally corrupt society has never been more difficult.

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 23 Jan 2020 19:53

I don't think my daughter owes us anything ...................

although she did tell us at Christmas that she and her husband would very much like us to consider selling our house (when it is time), and moving into a place near where they live in Nova Scotia instead of here and thus being on the other side of the country.

I can see her point re closeness and "thinking about it". OH is not ready to even think of moving from the house!

JustGinnie

JustGinnie Report 23 Jan 2020 19:41

I helped look after my parents because someone had to, I didn't expect my sister to do it all even though she had a closer relationship with them both. Dad was happy so long as he was fed and had a book to read. Mum was expert at emotional blackmail to get what she wanted and I fell for it every time, she definitely felt we owed her. I always said my children would be free to go out in the world without feeling that we would expect anything from them. Both are independent and although not close in miles we all know that we can ask for help if it was needed.

Our kids owe us nothing.

Sharron

Sharron Report 23 Jan 2020 14:43

I didn't look after (for want of a more accurate phrase) Fred because I owed him.

I did it because it needed doing.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 23 Jan 2020 14:32

I read a bit of it - why is it only Meghan - and, it appears, her new family - who 'owe' him?
He only lived with Meghan and her mother for 6 years.
He has 4 or 5 older children (including the mouthy half sister) who lived with him for much longer.
Why don't they 'owe' him?

My children don't 'owe' me anything - well, the youngest does owe me some money, but that can wait! :-D

Barbra

Barbra Report 23 Jan 2020 14:03

Didn't see it but my parents were always there for me growing up as they got older Mum got cancer 20years later Dad had Alziemers I helped the best I could as they were My Mum & Dad loved them so much .when they passed my two sons were growing up they had freedom to be themselves grow up into Mature men but we were always there to talk support them that's all you can do Barbara

LaGooner

LaGooner Report 23 Jan 2020 13:57

I would much rather give than receive anyday. T Markle is a deceitful money, grabbing , attention seeking individual.

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 23 Jan 2020 13:41

Like LG we don't expect anything from our children.

We don't interfere in their lives but if they ask our opinions
we say.

OH and myself are very much blessed with our children
and their OHs also our grandchildren.
As we are in the process of moving house they have taken over
doing the things that need seeing to.
As they have said to my OH and myself, we looked after them when
growing up its now their turn to look after and help us.


nameslessone

nameslessone Report 23 Jan 2020 13:29

I didn’t see the documentary nir did I bother to read the article. But if someone has actually made a promise to help I would be a bit miffed if they didn’t carry it through .

But was is a family if not to be there when needed. Just like my O H who is currently sitting at the bedside of the brother .

LaGooner

LaGooner Report 23 Jan 2020 13:25

We don't expect anything but love and respect from our children,they have their own lives to lead.

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 23 Jan 2020 13:00

I didn't feel I owed my parents but, although they lived a long way from us we did do our best to help out particularly as they had a large garden and when Dad was left alone after Mum died we used to travel ever three weeks to cut the lawns and tidy the garden as it would have broken his heart to see it deteriorate.

And no I don't feel my children owe us anything, we didn't have children to look after us as we got older. However we can't complain they are very good even though history repeats itself and they both live a long way from us. (Oh and our grandchildren are good if we need help as well, and we help them financially if needed too) these days it is not only 'pay it back', but pay it forward as well.

Rambling

Rambling Report 23 Jan 2020 12:55

Here's a quote from the DM, ( from the T Markle tv programme last night which I didn't watch) "Mr Markle also said that Meghan had promised to look after him in his 'senior years'. He said: At this point, they owe me. The Royals owe me. Harry owes me, Meghan owes me. What I've been through I should be rewarded for. My daughter told me that when I reach my senior years she'll take care of me.' "

Leaving aside the specifics of who this is and the circumstances, I heard someone say much the same the other day. What do you feel about the concept of "owing " your parents to the extent that they expect you to take care of them in their "senior years"?

Is it a 'choice' or an 'obligation' ?