General Chat

I see this is happening an awful lot and wonder the whys and wherefores of it and if it happened to anyone on here.
Children, grandchildren and the like suddenly disowning their parents and being ashamed of their upbringing. My son and one sister have done this.

Has it anything to do with politics?

Not for us, it’s due to them not approving of the way hubby and me live our lives.

That seems a bit harsh.
I know I'd happily abandon my (grown up) children if they became fascists, or we became diametrically opposed in some other political way.
Other than that, our family 'policy' is "Do as you will, but hurt no other'

My friend has 3 children, one has disowned her so she doesn’t see her grandchildren, this same child has been disowned by the siblings and stayed with my friend.

This sometimes seems to run in families for some unknown reason .............. one branch of my father's family seems to have one larger family in each generation going back at least 4 generations.

By larger, I mean 4 or more, usually 6 for some reason.

One child in each of those families often seems at odds with the parents and with other siblings.

My father had one brother who wouldn't speak to him for years because we moved house to a larger one with indoor bathroom(go figure!!) .................. made life difficult for him because he had soled Dad a Prudential policy and had to keep coming to the house to collect the dues. Wouldn't speak, just hold out the book :-)

Another of Dad's brothers had the larger family, and again, one who was always on the outs with siblings or with one of her children.

In my generation of cousins, there was a larger family of 6, again one of Dad's brothers ............ they split into 2 groups or 3 and 3, but that was seemingly fuelled by the married-in parent

Sometimes it seems that jealousy might be involved ................. they may say they don't like how you live, but maybe they really would LIKE to live that way, or being able to buy another house (even if the mortgage was never paid off!)



Like maggie, my philosophy is that I don't care how anyone lives, so long as no harm is done to either partner, and most definitely no harm to anyone else.

Sylvia, your post has reminded me.
My grandad's brother moved from Southampton to the Isle of Wight when his mother died - he just couldn't stand his father.
At about the same time, my grandad moved out of the house - to lodgings n Southampton - just down the road. In letters to my gran, he hated visiting his dad.

My mum's sister and brother had little to do with my mum - apparently, in marrying my dad, and moving abroad (dad was in the Fleet Air Arm), she was 'going beyond her station!'
My dad never spoke of his sister, and I didn't even know his mum was alive - until I was 10, when I stayed with gran - and my aunt and cousins were also living with her. This was because gran had been looking after my cousins while their mum was in prison :-S

When my mum and dad divorced, mum eventually 'took up with' and married a right fascist! He would rather we (by now all grown up and living our own lives) children didn't exist. We, however, persevered in visiting our mum and putting up with him (and to an extent, our mum). His family never visited him.
He (el fascisto) died - and suddenly mum wanted her children!

Well since then, we have huge family gatherings, at least once a year, sometimes 3 times a year.
By huge - it's us 4 siblings, our children and grandchildren. My late brother in laws brothers, their partners, children and grandchildren. People we've know since school, and even my ex, and whichever wife he's married to at the time!
A friend of my ex's is banned - his social views are totally opposite to ours, he's a misogynist and a religious bigot - he hasn't got a religion, but will try to 'put down' religions that he knows nothing about - his information appears to come from 'The bigot's guide to them foreign religions'
So, from us growing up and only seeing our aunts, uncles and cousins at funerals, our grandchildren know their cousins, second cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles and random people!

I admit that we are where we should be now, mortgage paid off we were saving what we would have been paying to have the house and garden sorted and now I’m retired but our life style and finances are the same, sooo I think if they were in touch with us jealousy would rear it’s ugly head.

Sometimes ( thinking of one case I know where it didn't quite come to disowning just mutual antagonism) it's seems more down to the mother and child, or father and child, just being too alike...and neither can back down.

Or the child being too like the grandmother for comfort, or children feeling a sibling is 'favoured' perhaps.