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Am I being unreasonable

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 19 May 2021 21:45

I spoke with my 'new' relative yesterday and although he gave me a fair amount of information on his side of the family, it didn't really take me any further with mine. There were shared relatives who we both remembered, though, and it was good to chat about them

Apparently his now deceased brother started the tree thirty years ago and started from his paternal grandfather.

I didn't have that luxury as all my grandfather's information before his marriage to my grandmother still can't be found, so I've concentrated on my grandmother's side of the tree.

I'll share with him the information I have regarding our common great grandparents and great great grandparents.

I will also let my brother know and see what happens from there :-D

Sharron

Sharron Report 19 May 2021 11:54

Don't be surprised if they have already contacted him.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 19 May 2021 11:36

I agree with Pat! :-D

It's not like they have to find paper, pen, envelope, and buy a stamp!

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 19 May 2021 06:38

I would say something to your brother about it's being a shame that the 2 of them seem to have lost interest in the family tree research without going into detail, and see if that gets through to them.

If you did then get a response from them you can tell them you've just found a new relative but keep it to yourself until they contact you.

I also find people who never thank or acknowledge you when you try to help very annoying. It only takes 2 minutes to send an email with a thank you or I've received the info and will be checking it out. It's just courtesy when you get something and I was brought up to be courteous. Something lacking in a lot of people these days. :-(

Hope you find out lots of new things about your family from your 2nd cousin Allan. :-D

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 19 May 2021 06:21

I agree with Liz. It is the younger generation, in the same way that many don't think it necessary to say thank you for presents and also don't think it necessary to send birthday cards etc, I usually do what Liz says and just email them to say I am worried they may not have got the email, but if they did could they let you know if they are actually interested in the family tree.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 19 May 2021 04:13



I would message both of your relatives to ask if they received the recent info you sent, and say you didn't hear back so wonder if they are no longer interested in family tree progress.

Give them the benefit of the doubt until you hear back, if you don't, keep new things to yourself in future.

Liz x

Allan

Allan Report 19 May 2021 00:06

Thank you both :-)

Kay

Kay Report 18 May 2021 23:50

Absolutely not. It really gets to me if I go to the bother of doing something to help anybody and they can't even have the basic manners to acknowledge what's been done.
I'm getting tough in my old age and now say I won't do it again if my efforts don't bring about a response.
Hope you enjoy talking to your new found relative.

Island

Island Report 18 May 2021 23:48

Not unreasonable at. As you haven't heard back from them regarding your help with the family tree it could be assumed that they had 'lost interest' ;-)

Allan

Allan Report 18 May 2021 22:17

I have been helping my nephew and one of my great nieces with their research into our family history.

Earlier this year I sent some information to both of them via email. In the case of my great niece, owing to her age, I sent it via her mother's email so that she could see what was being sent.

In neither case did I receive any acknowledgement or thanks for the information I forwarded.

I have now made contact with a second cousin, who I found via this site and who lives in Adelaide. In fact I will be phoning him later today.

His Grandmother was my Grandmother's sister.

In view of the underwhelming thanks I received for my earlier information, I'm wondering whether to keep this contact to myself.

In all probability I'll let my brother know and see if the info seeps down to his son and daughter.

Judging by the fact that he was not aware of my daughter's recent marriage, which was known to his son, I very much doubt it :-S