General Chat

Mon 22 Jan 2024 ITV 1 9pm.

Every person born from a donor might have multiple siblings they had no idea existed. This brand-new, four-part ITV1 series joins a group of donor conceived people as they open this Pandora’s Box.
Born From The Same Stranger follows searchers as they unite with a host of brothers and sisters or track down anonymous donors who never imagined they could be found.

Thank you Mr. M
That would be an interesting watch.
A Pandora's box, indeed.

All manner of situations come to mind..... for example I can imagine a situation where a young man donated sperm, thought no more about that and later went on to marry and have further children.
What would those later children think of their older half siblings.? Would they want a relationship with these strangers? Would the father?

Is it known whether or not any of the offspring, however conceived paired up in a romantic relationship and then found out about their genetic link.?

Did registration reflect the unusual beginnings of new life or was everything so secret that the paperwork too was part of the deceit?

Interesting Mr M, thank you :-)

One thing I read when the programme was first announced, some time ago, was that there was an immediate drop in sperm donors! Many of them are students, earning a bit of extra cash and helping women who are unable to conceive naturally. Several said they didn't wish to be "found".

I think there was another programme awhile ago where a man had made loads of donations so fathered over 100 or so children. I'm sure it also mentioned a couple who were "brother & sister"

It really is a Pandora's box with disastrous consequences. Years ago, the donor was anonymous and so the children created could not trace their biological father but wasn't the law changed so now, any child conceived via donor can legally trace the parent?

I think it could seriously be mentally challenging for some people to find they have maybe 20 or more siblings?

I shall watch the programme and see what happens.

Florence in the hebrides

This is an interesting subject with both an abstract moral dimension and a human emotion one. I have recently watched the documentary series “Seeds of Deceit”, about Dr Jan Karbutt and his fertility clinic. What a Pandora’s box was opened there when suspicions were aroused! He was immoral and unethical and much of what he did was illegal. He is believed to have himself fathered maybe 200 children, many of whom have got together. He falsified his records. When he died in 2017 police seized some items that would contain his DNA and held them until a Dutch court gave permission in 2019 for his DNA to be compared with his possible children. Two of his daughters were in the same high school class without knowing they were half siblings so it’s easy to imagine how an incestuous relationship could occur.

There was a lot more in the three documentary episodes than described above. I found it both fascinating and horrific. So many lives were turned upside down.

I had already marked this to watch, having a lot of interest in DNA. There have been a few programmes about this more recently, I did mention one, I'll look for it.

Late one night I fell upon a programme about an American sperm donor, many of his children had found each other and met up regularly, they all looked alike, and like their father!

TONIGHT :-)

Well I watched it and it was I as thought it would be!

Discovering you have several siblings must have been a terrible shock and emotionally upsetting if you always thought you were an only child.

The worse thing for the donor children is where their biological father doesn't want contact. That must have been dreadful. You cant imagine the rejection.

Personally I don't its right if you are a single female and you want a child to use a donor. I think its selfish. Why would you just "want" a child with noone to share it with?

The law should have been different from the start. yes men then would probably have not donated but at least there wouldn't be the problems created that are having to be dealt with now.

What did everyone else who watched the programme think?

Florence in the hebrides

I haven't watched the programme but know somebody in this situation. She used donated sperm, her son is now late teens I think. He wants to know more about his father, and there are a few tensions within the family. I'm not sure if he's pursued any avenues as yet as we don't see them often.

My nephew (now 30's) was adopted and has never, as far as I know, shown any interest in tracing his birth mother/father. I did wonder if he might when my sister died 2 years ago (BIL died in 2016) but he hasn't mentioned anything and I wouldn't dream of 'interfering'!

I think if you are adopted, deep down you probably would want to find where you came from but...if it upsets other family members then some may not search.

Only the person who was adopted can make the decision Sheila and as we have seen from programmes like Long lost families, sometimes there is a happy ending reconnecting with a birth parent but sometimes, it doesn't end well!

I binge watched all 4 programmes, and thoroughly enjoyed them.
Florence has made a few points here.

Is it right for single Mums to have donor conceived babies? Well they are more likely to be wanted than some children who are born naturally.

If you know you are donor conceived, then you must expect that there will be half siblings. Maybe there should be more counselling available.

The DNA of donor conceived children can be treated like that of adopted children. If you are aware of the situation, then you should expect that you will have DNA matches. Yes, it would be a shock if you didn't know.

And in the end, no one is obliged to respond to a contact request, any more than we do with our family trees. And we all know how disappointing it can be when there is no response.

Amazing journey tonight, you will need the tissues!

Obviously the situation today with DNA testing widely available is very different to that 30 years ago when the only route to trace somebody was via written records, many of whicg were not officially to be released.

I watched the last episode last night. There were a group of 5 who were brought together and are all getting on well which is great.There were a couple of others who actually contacted their donor and he agreed to see them so that had a happy ending.

In todays world of technology, its much harder nowadays to be anonymous!

The series was an interesting watch but at times, felt for some of those donor conceived as it became over whelming for them when they discovered their new siblings.

Florence in the hebrides