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Good Luck Neil in your search for your brother.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for,

regards

Never give up hope, Neil.

Good luck in your search :-)

Upon my death I will die happy knowing I done all I could to reunite me with my brother.AS understood if not thirsty water will not be Taken.This as painfull as it is I will use to make me a better man.XXX :-)

I would like all to no.I am not seeking to fill and find possibly an answer to my failures or answers and excuse for behaviour.But please believe me I am proud of the pain that has made me the man I am.
I will find you my brother.By means of no alterative motive than love of blood. :-)

I most definitely think he was adopted in a local area.This is what has made it more difficult as I walk around thinking is that him or I can be on site in southeast laying bricks looking at everyone of the age.

hold onto hope Neil, but without beating yourself up, as others have said, and do what you can to create the opportunities for Brian to contact you if he looks for family

A few years ago, I found the family of a man who was born to unmarried parents in England in the 1920s, believe it or not, so he was in his 80s ... I identified who his father probably was from the little information he had, found what he had done in life afterward (not too difficult as he was landed gentry!), found his family ... the man in Australia contacted the family in Ireland who had never heard of him ... and there was joy all round.

Sometimes people don't find out they were adopted until their adoptive parents die, although that is less common these days. Or, as has been said here, may not want to look for their birth family until that happens.

if you ask google for

"Brian Robert Dunn" 1961

or

"Brian Robert Dunn" adopted

your thread here comes right up. If he does the same, he will find it too.

Neil, a couple of thoughts, from time to time as well as checking trees here it may be worth you googling your own name and that of your parents, if your brother posts a search anywhere else it would then come up

Also (a long shot I know), there is always the chance he was adopted in the Plumstead area? so might have attended a local school. it is always worth looking at Friendsreunited or Facebook for school pages, it's just possible he may show up in a photo, as you have the same parents he may look like you did at the same age.

I would like to share my gratitude to all the caring people that have posted support.
For some time I have thought that I was beaten but not now.Thanks. :-)

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Neil I don't have anything to add to the suggestions of Patchem and Joonie, but just to say don't give up hope on finding your brother, or him finding you. People start searching for birth family often quite late on in life perhaps when their adoptive parents have died and they feel able to do so without upsetting the people who raised them, or just because they feel having brought up their own family it is now time they knew about their own roots.


best of luck.

thanks will do but am calling a night.my head hurts.X

You can also add a postem to the free bmd entry, giving some form of (neutral) contact information, so that if he or his family ever check that out they will be able to find you.

Thankyou.Sorry from my Heart.
I am a bricklayer and still don't understand the way this works.X

Neil, you need to follow the thread.

The person who sent you the marriages had disregarded the fact that the Brian you are looking for was adopted.

This was pointed out to her: that if he was adopted, his name was changed (so it is pointless to send marriages in Brian's birth name).

She replied: 'has his name been changed?'

And the reply **to her** was 'Well, he was adopted, so pretty obviously, yes.'

No one said anything untoward **to you**.

Make sure not to have a chip on your shoulder when reading people's contributions. :-D

I have not seen the word 'thanks' in this thread yet.

yes that is me.with Brian on the tree.was not taking out my frustration on the only people that can help was just answering a post in the same manor delivered.

Neil, no one here is to blame for anything in your situation, so taking the problem out on people here that way really isn't called for.


Neil ... did you check the link patchem gave you?

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

this is a voluntary matching service ... any family member of an adopted person can register, and if the adopted person themself also registers, they will be matched

the adopted person may not be interested in their birth family and may not want any contact, and in that case if they do not register there is nothing you can do

but if you have not registered there, Brian could not contact you even if he wanted


I am not persuaded that putting full birthdates here, even of adopted persons, is wise or acceptable ... it is still identifying information that they may not wish to have published this way


you raise an interesting point about the possibility of relationships being incestuous if one party does not know they were adopted or does not know their birth parents' names ... ditto for 'test tube babies' ... and in fact for anyone who does not know the identity of their father, whatever the circumstances of their birth, adopted or not

but there simply is no way to track down adults and force information on them about their circumstances

is the Neil who has Brian Dunn 1961 Plumstead in his tree you? perhaps under an old account ... very important either to keep your email address in that account up to date, or start a new tree under this current account ... and keep the email address up to date there as well ... this thread could be found by someone doing an internet search in future and they would need a way to contact you

also click 'Watch This' up at the top and then you should get notifications if someone posts a message here

have you contacted all the people here who have the name Brian Dunn born 1961 in their trees? many of them show no place of birth ... there were 7 or perhaps 8 Brian Dunns born in England in 1961 so odds are that they are the others, but there is no harm in asking

pretty obviously there were children adopted without control.

Well, he was adopted, so pretty obviously, yes.

has his name been changed?

the way brian was adopted was made illegal in about 1985.laws were passed that only the parent can go to court and find detail.since my mum passed away and my father was not on the birth this leaves me stranded.i have registered on all before but got fed up with people just wanting money for a service that I feel should be free.i have two possible mariages that were given by someone else.If there is adopted people out there hidden from a corrupt ancient law then surely it would be possible that siblings and family could be incestuous without knowledge.
I have all all original adoption paperwork in my possession should anyone be able to help me.Neil.