Find Living Relatives

I have searched for many years for a sibling of a dear friend who was adopted, with no results.
She has her birth cert 1958 and knows the names of her birth parents and that they had another child a year later.
My friend's name was changed after adoption, she know's where the adoption took place and would like to find her sibling.
Would she have an adoption file, that she could access? We have emailed the local authority, where adoption took place.
Will she be able to find out if any family members have been looking for her? if so where would that info be?

Your friend can access her own adoption file via Social Service, but not that of her sibling. She would be expected to have a counselling session/chat before access is given.

Not entirely sure if you're asking if birth family are looking for your friend, or if they are looking for the sibling.

Apart from contacting Social Service where her own adoption took place, she could register on the adoption contact register with both her own birth name and that of the sibling.
https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records/the-adoption-contact-register

Thanks for the info, will wait to here back from the authority about access to her adoption file. I think she will be put off by having to have a chat with a councillor, is that really nessecary? If for instance a parent or sibling was looking for her, am I right in thinking the only way they could make contact is through the adoption register?

if your friend knows her parents name she can try and find them herself

Yes, that is correct. The url does give a further link about hiring an intermediary. They'd be allowed to access the adopted child's file, discover their new name & try and find them. It would be up to the newly found adopted child to give permission for contact details to be passed on.

Counselling, although not necessary relevant in your friend's case, is to prepare the adoptee for what might be the harrowing circumstances leading to their adoption. Use your imagination as to what that might be for some people.

If your friends birth record is shown on the freebmd site, she/you could add a Post'em with a generic email address saying something like '(her birth name) would welcome contact from birth family' & do something similar to the birth sibling's record.

Ask your friend for permission to add her birth name to the title of this thread. That way if any one came looking for her, it might come up in an internet search.
Don't delete your account. It has happened & its so frustrating when the OP has deleted theirs. Free members can receive & reply to personal messages.

Try a Search for her birth family's names on the internet - something relevant might show up. There are a number of 'missing you' style websites she/you could post on.

Although there's no hard & fast rule, we long time board users see adoption searches fall into 2 basic catagories.
- the adoptee doesn't want to upset their adopted family & waits until the parents have died
- they've always know they were adopted & have their new family's support.

There is a third category, those who never knew they were adopted. If their family applied for a full passport while the person was still a child, they wouldn't have realised they didn't have a 'normal' birth certificate. Once you have a full passport, its relatively easy to renew it without having to go through the same rigmarole.

Have you used the search all members trees, top right under Search, to see if she &/or her immediate birth family are shown in someone else's tree?
Could you persuade her to join as a free trial member & create a mini tree with the same details?

Nicola Report 7 Sep 2018 21:43
Thanks for the info, will wait to here back from the authority about access to her adoption file. I think she will be put off by having to have a chat with a councillor, is that really nessecary? If for instance a parent or sibling was looking for her, am I right in thinking the only way they could make contact is through the adoption register?

The simple answer is -yes as its the law for adoption prior to 1975.

Any siblings born after your friend wont be listed in her adoption file,as at the time they would be unknown to the authority.

Malyon is correct, but its still wise to use an intermediary/3rd person to act as a go between. When she was adopted, her parents were told they could never hear about the child again. Even if we assume that the parents were 20 when the child was born, they'd be 88 by now!

Some parents want to be contacted. For other's it opens up old wounds. The adopted child is 'rejected' all over again.

Thanks all, for the info. I feel I am on the verge of being told off by someone for discussing a friend's situation. I have printed off form for her to register on Gov adoption contact register and emailed Authority for info on her adoption file but of course that won't give info about her younger sibling.
She is really just interested to find her full sibling ( just 12 months younger) the sibling might not even know they have a sister with same parents.
I have probably said to much already but thanks for your help.

Nicola, you haven’t divulged anything to identify your friend, so rest easy from that respect.

As she wants to find her adopted sibling, suggest she also explores the official intermediary route. They won’t be free.

If the birth sibling *is* also looking for her, your friend needs to get both birth names out there.

All best wishes for her success.