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I have an Emily A Horstead (born Rotherhithe 1869) marrying a Frederick John Elinor September qtr 1891 St George in the East, Surrey. I cannot find either of them on an 1891 census. In the 1901 census Emily A Elinor turns up as a "widow" working in a pub in Rotherhithe. However, cant find Fred dying anywhere and there is a Fred John Elinor alive and kicking, right age and living with a housekeeper "Jane Elinor" and son Fred John jnr.in Suffolk. Is this the same man? Can anyone find him before the 1891 wedding or find him dying between 1891 and 1901? This one is really confusing me. I have found a child called Irene which seems to be this couples born 1892 and died 1895. There is also a child called Beatrice Horstead living with the grandparents in the 1901 census. Is this child Emily's. All thoughts gratefully received as my head is spinning like the exorcist.

Looks like your family have done the same disappearing act that mine did in 1871 lol Just before they got married, the census was taken... neither of them are on it. When was Fred born?

Got the rest of the family in 1891 lol Horstead, Charlotte 12 Rotherhithe, London Daughter Rotherhithe London Horstead, Edward J 51 St George, London Head Rotherhithe London Horstead, Edward J I 19 Rotherhithe, London Son Rotherhithe London Horstead, Emily A 50 Bermondsey, London Wife Rotherhithe London Horstead, Henry D 17 Wapping, London Son Rotherhithe London Horstead, James 8 Rotherhithe, London Son Rotherhithe London Horstead, Mary A 14 Rotherhithe, London Daughter Rotherhithe London

Not sure of that Tracey. The age of the Fred in Suffolk is 40 in the 1901. Which would make him 8 years older than Emily so 1861? I was speaking to my elderly Aunt - in her 80's -whose lip curled at the mention of this Emily's name - "a bad lot". Apparently known as Lilian for some reason???

Yes Tracey, Ive got the Horsteads in every census. In the 1881 for some reason this Emily A aged 12 is living with the auntie down the road (Sophia Sword) but is also included on the Horsteads return!

Don't think maybe she was married before.... ? Rawlings, Edward F 3 Rotherhithe, London Son Rotherhithe London Rawlings, Edward T 23 Rotherhithe, London Head Rotherhithe London Rawlings, Emily A 22 Rotherhithe, London Wife Rotherhithe London

Blimey, now my head is shooting round!! Elderly aunt whispered that this Emily also had a "liaison"??? with a chap called George Cooper. "I dont think she ever made it right and legal, though". Surely she couldnt have been married, left this bloke and remarried the same year?

lol who knows... family were very odd back then.

Oooh... think I found her! Johnson, Ethel Maud 20 Pickenham, Norfolk Daughter Thetford St Peter Norfolk Johnson, Ida Elizabeth 32 Pickenham, Norfolk Daughter Thetford St Peter Norfolk Johnson, John 66 Wicken, Cambridgeshire Head Thetford St Peter Norfolk Johnson, Mary Sophia 59 Hilborough, Norfolk Wife Thetford St Peter Norfolk Johnson, Percy James debenham 25 Pickenham, Norfolk Son Thetford St Peter Norfolk Horstus, Emily Ann Elizabeth 22 Bermondsey, Middlesex Servant Thetford St Peter Norfolk Ruther, Alice May 24 Calthorpe, Norfolk Servant Thetford St Peter Norfolk Had a look at the image, and it might be Horstead. I've saved it if you want a copy. (The other servant looks more like Butler to me)

Tracey, how on earth did you manage that - you little genius. How strange, because the Horsteads actually came from Norfolk originally. I shall have to have a look at that - be back.

I looked for her in 1881, and did a Soundex on the name her aunt put down lol... still don't know if it is her, but there you go :)

So did you just enter Emily A and her age and then trawl thousands of names? How did you have the patience for someone who isnt your lot? What do you mean you tried Lilian aswell? I am in awe Trace. I really am. Went away for a cup of coffee and came back amazing. Well, this would tie her in with old Fred because he came from the same area and ends up back in that area with the "housekeeper" in the 1901. Now I wonder if Fred junior is Emilys or Janes? No wonder Auntie said she was a bit of a mystery! Many thanks. I have had a look at the census and it definitely says Horstead. There arent many about so particularly ones from Bermondsey so I think we are on pretty safe ground. I will have another look just in case.

She's down as Emily Horsten in 1881, so I did a soundex search on that... I know how annoying looking for family is - especially when you know they should be there. Might take a tip from this and go back to 1871 to look for mine (when Ancestry update it!) lol