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Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

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Tip of the day...Ask the family

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Jilliflower

Jilliflower Report 1 Nov 2009 08:37

Brilliant point, uncle Jonesey!
A great deal of family information is usually retained in the minds of women who as little girls listened to the chatter and gossip of the older women. Many more men today are delving into family matters though.
I gleaned amazing info from a very elderly gentleman in Canada who's memory was questioned by his family but he gave me details of schools etc in England from when he was a boy which confirmed his earlier memories.
HOWEVER it is crucial NOT to feed anything you are doubtful about as you could well be feeding a FALSE memory into their mind. I made this mistake early on with an elderly relation and she led me on such a wild goose chase by relating back to me as fact the info I had giver her!
Thanks so much for the advice and help,
Love
Jill

Jonesey

Jonesey Report 1 Nov 2009 08:29

Can there I wonder, be anyone who is looking into their family history who has not at sometime wished that they had asked someone a question relating to it when they had the chance. It is an unfortunate fact but people die and contact is lost with others so that when that question finally pops into your head the person best able to answer it may no longer be available to us.

My tip is therefore to talk now to anyone who you think might be able to provide some information that could be helpful. As well as parents these could also include aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces.

What you get back will obviously depend not just on what they know but on what questions you ask and how you ask them. I cannot remember who first said it but the words Who, Where, What, Why, When and How in a sentence are good servants. They are words that cannot be answered easily with a yes or a no but will solicit a lengthier answer.

What you learn can also be affected by where and when you ask your questions. People are usually more relaxed in their own home so where possible visit the other person at their home. Find out when it is going to be convenient to visit. Verbal communication is better than written as when an answer is given you can expand on it. If visiting you may also find that they have documents or photographs that can help your research.

When dealing with older persons whose memory may not now be as sharp as it once was it sometimes pays to throw in a fact that you know may be wrong. This seems to focus the other persons mind and the person will react recalling the correct fact and often other facts relating to it. An example being to say something like “Your father was christened Bill wasn‘t he?” The response might well be something like, “No! He was actually christened Francis William after his grandfather”. This secondary fact can often then be used to enquire about the grandfather.

Whatever questions you ask the important thing is to ask them now before it is too late.