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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Lorna

Lorna Report 18 Apr 2006 15:47

Tyanx will give anything a try my grandchild when it arrives will have the honour !!!!!!! of having two adopted grandmas the midwives had never come across this before . It wasn't very helpful for family medical history so my daughter has managed to blame quite a lot of aiklments on me in particular as she delicately puts it doesn't know my blood stock how rude !!!!

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 18 Apr 2006 15:46

Lorna - ring her back this afternoon- jess x

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 18 Apr 2006 15:39

Hi Lorna, first point of call would be the social worker involved,(at the very least the office concerned,but don't get the runaround). I had a problem with mine being released from the GRO and going to my local office,then i moved house as the paperwork was on the way. Irang the GRO and they re-issued it to my new designated office in three days.It might be worth a call to the GRO and explain the situation and see what they advise.I have always found the GRO staff to be extremely helpful and polite. Good luck Glen

Lorna

Lorna Report 18 Apr 2006 15:27

Help please if you can I have waited my 9 months to hear from a social worker with my birth records but have heard nothing What can |I do I don't know who to start pestering . I'm gonna be a grandma any day now so at least I'lll be in someones family tree . All ideas gratefully received

Ann

Ann Report 18 Apr 2006 01:24

Hi all Glen Sorry things didnt turn out better for your weekend. Its sad to read how they are treating you. If it was me I would want the truth not to be dragged along believing one thing when they have no gust or sensitivity for you and are not being honest about their true feelings. I would try BB email again and be honest and see how it goes. For your own well being try a few more times....be honest with them and maybe they will have some feelings and be honest back. Good Luck Glen Annxx

Juliet

Juliet Report 17 Apr 2006 21:45

thinking of you all.

Loopy

Loopy Report 17 Apr 2006 13:49

Hi Glen, I agree you should leave it a couple of days, if you are anything like me I will go through quite a range of emotions in a few days, come to think of it a few hours even ! So do not send anything yet that you might regret later on or as soon as it leaves your computer. Don'y worry about being to nice there are worse things you could be !! Mel

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 17 Apr 2006 13:47

Glen - you have and you will! If they decide to act like ingorant twerps there is little you can do, getting upset/angry will only bounce them futher away. Send B sister a letter to old adress, if it gets redirected , so be it. Just say you'd love to meet her sometime, bung in your telephone number and leave it at that. ball is her court. she'll either bounce it back or not - then you'll know. Jess x

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 17 Apr 2006 13:39

Hi again Mel I have been through that stage already,and this was 'step two'. Years ago a demonstrator from a microwave manufacturer told me i was 'too nice' and should be a bit tougher with the way i deal with people.She must know me better than i know myself.Perhaps i should leave it for a few days,as at the moment i feel like sending a message to half bro saying i managed without for 39 years and the way they seem i can last for another 39. Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 17 Apr 2006 13:29

Hi Glen, I understand completly what you are saying about , that you would rather them tell you straight, we are not babies or teenagers anymore and are well into our experienced years ( somtimes ). I think they would have to have mail redirection through the post office who would not ! I am a bit like a bull in a china shop so you should give great consideration to what I think before you do it. (giggle) Could you not write the letter and in it write that you would dearly love to meet them but if not that you will understand but would like to know either way so you will not be left hanging, so if they decide not to, you can move on. Phrase it nicely thoough I am sure that will come easily to you !! Send a couple of pics of yourself and forget about it, there is nothing more you can do after that ! Melisa

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 17 Apr 2006 13:12

Hi Mel I did speak to a couple of the neighbours,they don't have a forwarding address,but the move had been on the cards for a few weeks,and the removal van had been sorted out two weeks earlier (apparently). Maybe her post might be redirected,i'm not sure. It just seems like something that wouldn't slip your mind though,especially as she moved during a long weekend,and had booked the week off work as well. The hubby moved too,so it isn't a result of a family split,and according to the neighbours,my half bro and two of half sisters daughters helped with the move as well. That is the bit that really does hurt,knowing that at least one person never said i was turning up,and another three i have never met not having the chance to say hello,i have a feeling that they never even had the choice. I could handle them saying they don't want to know,but at the risk of sounding idealistic,the youngest of my neices and nephews is 37,i'm 39 and my half sis and half bro are in their late 50's. We are all adults,so why do i feel like i'm being treated like a naughty five year old? Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 17 Apr 2006 13:00

Hi Glen, You could just let it go or could you write another letter to her saying sorry you missed her, and would still like to have that cuppa she so kindly offered. Would her mail not get redirected to her new address. Maybe her settlement was bought forward a couple of days Melisa

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 17 Apr 2006 12:49

Hmmm I think the run and hide option is nearer the truth,she wrote a letter to me and posted it last monday,seems odd to think that she 'forgot' she was about to move house,and seeing as it was a house sale etc it wouldn't have happened in a couple of days,not with £200k of property to sell anyhow,and her being aware that i was travelling to the county for the weekend. Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 17 Apr 2006 12:00

Hi Glen, My heart goes out to you at the moment, and I am trying to find the right thing to say ( at which I am hopeless at ). Don't you wish that if people do not want contact they would just come out and say, we are not children for goodness sake. Sometimes false hope is so much worse than no hope. I think that it is your BS loss and not yours, you seem like a very genunie guy who has a lot of heart. Melisa

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 17 Apr 2006 11:59

Glen dont turn, just stand still for a while, just wait a bit and see what happens. B sis may just have forgotten to include you on new address thinggy - she may have run and hid, i agreee.... Its hard, and turns you inside out. Big Hug for you jess xx

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 17 Apr 2006 11:11

Hi everyone Had my little trip down south with very mixed results. I found some very useful info and former houses for my birth family,going from 1870 to 1963,and then stumbled across the street my half sister lives in. Unfortunately i went on the Friday and she moved house on the Thursday,so it was with a few tears i realised that she hadn't been fully honest when she answered my letter,and said she was happy to meet and share a few photographs over a cuppa. If i'm honest it was more than a few tears (more like a flood),i really don't know what to do at the moment,maybe she was trying to tell me something by not telling me(?) As for half bro,i think that is well and truly a dead horse i'm flogging,i have tried the e-mail approach and the phone but absolutely no joy at all.No reply to e-mail and silence on the phone. I suppose that i really have my answers with all of this,but i wish that they would just say,i feel that there might be some way to find things out,but they won't respond one way or the other. I just don't know which way to turn at the moment. Glen

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 17 Apr 2006 09:25

I guess i am really lucky - my brother doesn't see my birth sister as a threat at all - maybe it a gender thing ( a sister isn't going to displace a brother) ...and the fact that i didnt grow up with a sister maybe changes thing . If i had a close relationship with a birth brother (I dont) maybe he would think differently. My Mum and dad accept her totally too - her dad , however doesnt even tollerate talking about me....He refuses to even acknowledge i exist. It isnt a problem very often and it doesnt bother B/S that her dad choose to be like that- B/S daughter gets married later in the year, Bride would rather have me, than her grandfather, who she hasn't seen for years- so that tells you something!! Jess x

Ann

Ann Report 17 Apr 2006 01:08

Hi all Dorothy I am also like you as my Mother does not talk about my BS anymore, its like she doesnt exist and my Sister has never wanted to even discuss the existence of my BS.....not once. So I dont push it. My biggest disappointment was my sister who is also an Adoptee. I thought she would be there for me to talk to.............boy was I in for a shock she wouldnt even read my first letter saying I had a BS. One day they might ask and then I will tell them all the stuff the has happened since my BS had contacted me. Which is alot more. But for now I dont force any of this on them as they may see it as a threat to our family. One Day. Annxx

Dorothy

Dorothy Report 16 Apr 2006 03:24

hello everyone happy easter from canada the snow has melted and the grass is turning green, and i had an easter card from my new brother and family in scotland so all is well, now if only i could get my family here to accept this new side of the family I would be doing well, my sister does not want to talk about it and my son just keeps saying don't get hurt mom, perhaps some of you will remember that my brothers daughter came over last year, well she is coming again this year she is now 16, so I will get to see her again that is going to be fun again happy easter take care bye dorothy

Sheila

Sheila Report 15 Apr 2006 04:58

Hi Folks, Just of to England for a week and wanted to wish you all a 'Happy Easter' enjoy your holidays :O) and catch up with you all soon Happy hunting :O) Sheila x