Genealogy Chat

Sorry for my temporary absence, due to me being detained under the Mental Health Act at Homebase this afternoon. I went in search of a C- tree - any sort, any size, given up being fussy - yes, they said, you're lucky, we havent any fresh ones but we have just reduced all the artificial ones by 50%, here they are moddom.... THEY WERE SIXTY POUNDS! AND THAT WAS HALF-PRICE!!!!!! Needless to say a small scene ensued which I will draw a veil over...and I came away without a s*****ing tree. I HAAAAAATE CHRISTMAAAAAAS. I now have to think of where to go, to get some likely looking bare branches, spray them gold in time for them to dry and then decorate them, oh, after finding a suitable container and getting them to stand upright. My credit card has melted and I havent finished yet, there's still the veg and the booze to do. My daughter has sent my a parcel in my maiden name and the PO wont let me have it cos all my ID is in my married name. I STILL havent written, or sent a single card. Malcolm: As I am usually barely going to bed at 5 am, I am not in the habit of sitting in trees and tweeting at that time of the day, bird flu or no. Do hope your trousers dry soon - ish, but it might be an idea to wash them first? I am off now to have a right royal sulk AND wash my kitchen floor yet again - the cranberry accident has dried to a clear but tacky glaze and I am sticking to the carpets. I am NEVER NEVER doing C--- again! Olde Crone (Warp factor nine million)

Reb's - I have corrected the most recent attendees list - sorry Billy! I just realised I forgot to show you all my LIST!! (I'm sure you all love lists at this time of year?? LOL) Commode, gold, one - check Roof-boxes, gold, Supreme deluxe version, two - check Skis, gold, one pair - check Pram wheels, gold and white, set of four - check Tent, three ''man'', navy, one - check Battery, camping leisure type, one - check Kettle - check Coffee, instant, one jar - check Tea, bags, one box - check Mars Bars, large, two dozen - check Sleeping bags, orange and green stripes, two, check Tinsel, red, 1.7m (I've taken it off for a while) - check Dates, Eat-Me, one box (1999) - check Tablets, Steradent, two boxes - check Bowl, large, blue and white stripe - check Coronation Chicken, tin, industrial size - check Plates, paper, white - check Packet mix, ice cream flavour (1969) - check Slipper sox, red, slight wear - check Condensed milk, Carnation, tins, two (1983) - check Liquorice, banana flavour, two boxes - check Liners, drawer (that's singular), four rolls (1994) - check Treats, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Blanket, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Bed, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Tena Lady, super-sized, dozens - check Hope I haven't forgotten too much??? Maybe there is a ''Poundland'' at Oxford?? Merry

well, I'm off to bed now.. thanks for the invite merry ( hope oc dont mind me tagging along at the last min)... i shall be dreaming (not of a white c...) but of c in cornwall....will check in tomorrow for last minute directions/instructions... Sue.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snoring already....lol

Beryl, are you quite sure it is safe to allow ourselves to be transported to the party by a ship-load of men, hunky, weather-beaten or whatever? I am concerned that once they have delivered us to our destination, they will beetle back home and snitch to our families as to our whereabouts. Even worse, they might insist on joining the party, and unless they are prepared for a quick chop, they are going to be ineligible. (Shall bring the carving knife just in case). Still worrying about the pressies, but I do have quite a large stock of cuddly toys with the stuffing half hanging out (courtesy of the dog). Would these be acceptable? I could coat them in treacle first if that helps. Tina

Time for a rest......... I was going to aim to get to Oxford tonight, but those chimneys at Didcot distracted me and so we have pulled off the A34 and are getting ready to camp for the night......I have brought a tent that is large enough to cover over the commode and roof boxes, yet folds down small enough to fit into the pocket of my combinations.......(well, I thought that was a pocket??)....... So, Jess, once we begin our treck to Cornwall we will be able to keep dry at night, courtesy of the tent. You will be pleased to know it has three sleeping compartments, one for me, one for you and one for Bobbin. The huskies prefer to sleep outside and I have had to bring a portable snow machine to make them feel more at home. Shall be having porridge for breakfast early tomorrow (as long as the weevils haven't eaten all the starch) and then a quick dash up to somewhere-near-Northampton-with-knicker-marker......... Merry - Nite nite x

Okay, things are finally coming together here. Found my Magic Wishing Chair book and checked out the dimensions, should have ample space for ample bums. Sewed a slip cover with lots of pockets to hold supplies, gifts, etc. I calculated if Lara, Billy and I leave here midnight on Friday, our ETA to the UK would be........um, 10 pm Friday! Little bit early, but we don't want to get caught up in traffic. Lara, forget the Richard Clayderman does Xmas. Whilst looking for the wishing chair book, I found another little lost gem........wait for it.!! I'm so excited, it's tada! BOY SCOUTS CAMPFIRE SONGS !!!! We can bop and sway along to Kum By Yah, Gin Gan Gooley Gooley, Hello Mudda, Fadda, and my favourite Your Baby 'as Gone Down the Plug'ole. And for fear of having one set of cheeks joining the lower positioned pair due to malformation caused by high flying speeds and high altitudes, I've designed a chin bra. A little creation that straps around the head and under said jowls to reduce the risk of stretching. Not the most becoming of apparel, but can be hidden under a balaclava. Lara, take note, be ready, tinsel g-string enhanced a**e pointing up and ready at midnight Friday. I may not get back here before then as I have yet to do the C-pressie thing to keep the family quiet while I am gone. Might be time to make a start.............lol! Rebs : (( .......who really, really hates C*******s !!! ps Merry, you forgot billy the dog off the guest list. Woe, love the name change hon.....perfect for the obligatory corner saddo!

lol merry....feeling a bit merry myself!!! oc hasn't done a moonlight I hope?...lol.....hope we've not scarred her off!! perhaps the thought of 20(?) peeps sleeping on her front lawn is just tooooooo scarry! come to think bout it, i got a sleeping bag that quite a few of sons mates have used after a boozy night have used... i could bring that, just in case its cold! Now.....about my transport.......got a couple of old bikes in the garage - the kids used then for their paper rounds but wont let us get rid of them ( they haven't been on them since)......perhaps I better set off now?......could dress them up with a bit of festive tinsel, that might help with the areodinamics (oops...spelling and drink...hic!...lol) Sue

Merry, I am rather concerned about Olde Crone's state of health. Do you think there is the possibility that she is suffering from a Virtual breakdown. I know there is a lot of it going around and I too have been warned that I am on the edge (of sanity or should that be insanity?). I think I recognize the symptoms of quite a few of our companions on the journey! What do you think? Tina...please do not malign the good name of the crew of the Royal Iris, they are all seasoned sea men. Don't you know not only did they sail back and forth across the Mersey they also had plenty of practice going up and down the Mersey. They are also well equiped (in more ways than one) of dealing with rowdy and drunken Liverpudlians and if they can sort them out ....they can tackle anything. Also they used to sail to Wales! By all means if you wish to bring the whips and chains then feel free (Whatever turns you on). Woe...thank goodness that all your trimmings are blue because you are sad and not because you support Everton! Ebeneza....I am so sorry for your misfortunes....never mind dear have another sherry or two. Malc....perhaps I can solve the problem of your damp apparel... I shall send you a couple of Tena Ladies ..perhaps you can adapt them. So so excited....can hardly wait. Beryl x Who ,,,,before anyone complains is a LIverpudlian but not a drunken one.

In the absence of our hostess, (Olde Crone - vanished!!) I'll say, those items sound just the ticket LOL!! Merry

Oh gooodieeeee!!! I've cheered up no end now!!! Thankyou thankyou...lol.....think I'll pour another sherry to celebrate!!!....lol Now what shall I bring?.........sorry, but had a turn out of kitchen cupboards earlier in the year (new kitchen fitted) and threw away anything that now might be useful to bring... S*ds law that!...lol....and I'm drinking all the cheap sherry now !! I do have contacts with tesco (a rellie works there) so I could try and get some old stock that they throw away.....any good? If we are giving presents....I have a few items of clothing that Mum has given me over the years that I wouldn't be seen dead in! Labels are still on them, will those do? some nice twin-sets....slippers that look more like furry boots..... and, oh yes, and some tins (about 5) of fruit cocktail that she has given me.....they not quite passed the sell by date, but have been in the cupboard for ages. will those do? Sue

Sue, you sound well qualified (and seeing double too, I see!?) Revised list: Crone Jess Bobbin Merry several huskies Bev Scott Tina Cheshire Pussy cat Ebeneza - now sadly cancelled, due to laptop failure :O(( Macbev in Perth Ang Oop North/Dn South Fairy Smith Buttercup Fairy (not sure??) Gwyn Ding in Kent Reb Elf Billy the dog (added later after my unfortunate slip - see Reb's message, a few down) Wrinkly Grumpy Old Woman Moe in a Muddle Beryl the Peril Poppy Sue in the Midlands Merry

Hi all.....I have been enjoying reading about your c-plans, logging in every morning before work and when I get home evey day and I'm green with envy!! Just had a 'pig' of a day at work and feeling very down any chance there's a spare place for a (at the mo) grumpy, slightly tippsy (been at the cheap tesco sherry since 6 o'clock), flat broke (spent far too much), fed up with wrapping everyones prezies (not bought enough paper) young at heart female (but feels about 90 after all the running around I've done)? ......sorry rambling again.....feel better now I got that off my chest! PLeeeese say you have room for one more!!........no probs with my immediate family (hubby and two sons) but ma and pa coming for the day too......now thats another story!!!! I'll travel by what ever means nessesary! Oh and by the way.... checked with tesco's.... tena lady has now been rationed, aparently theres been a rush on... its just one packet per customer now!.... sigh..... Sue.... Sorry message seems to have gone on twice.....lol....see, nothing is going right here!!!!....oh heeeeeelp!!!

Hi all.....I have been enjoying reading about your c-plans, logging in every morning before work and when I get home evey day and I'm green with envy!! Just had a 'pig' of a day at work and feeling very down any chance there's a spare place for a (at the mo) grumpy, slightly tippsy (been at the cheap tesco sherry since 6 o'clock), flat broke (spent far too much), fed up with wrapping everyones prezies (not bought enough paper) young at heart female (but feels about 90 after all the running around I've done)? ......sorry rambling again.....feel better now I got that off my chest! PLeeeese say you have room for one more!!........no probs with my immediate family (hubby and two sons) but ma and pa coming for the day too......now thats another story!!!! I'll travel by what ever means nessesary! Oh and by the way.... checked with tesco's.... tena lady has now been rationed, aparently theres been a rush on... its just one packet per customer now!.... sigh..... Sue....

it appears old crone was getting up at 5am every morning then sitting on her washing line whistling her head off she was a bit concerned she mite of been contracting bird flu so popped up to camborne to see the doctor luckly enough shes fine and the doc says it only pre c day stress

she'll have left a key under the mat, im sure~~~~

Excellent instructions!!!!....... and the huskies have been eating the raw sprouts from outside the greengrocers whilst I've been in the internet cafe.......They will be dropping their effluent over the school at 8am tomorrow and then it'll be Aggie's drawers as a homing device...... See you about 9am tomorrow!! Had anyone seen Crone lately?? Hope she hasn't gone off to the Bahamas or somewhere?? Merry

Merry, Not quite - a titchy witchy place just outside~ the place name is pronounced Nothing like it is spelled, Maybe best if you do leave it until the morning - the street lighting isn't exactly condusive to landing after dark (street lighting wasat?) so at least in the day light you'll spot the flag heralding your arrival. Aggie Snot-a-lot next door does her washing every tuesday, come rain or shine and her drawers are the largest in the village , (county even?), and the array of Blue flowered stretch Nylon flapping in the breeze is enough to guide in a jumbo jet , so you'll be fine. Just follow the old railway cutting from the M1 towards the industrial site, Once over that your fly over a private prep school ,(~ good place to dump any accumulated effluent) and then veer left a bit, no right a bit, no left (sorry) and look out for Aggies drawers.

DOUBLE DISASTER!!!! (Good Girl, Jess! xx) Have straightened the ski and escaped from Kwik Fit and the butchers, but suddenly realised I don't know where I am going, except for Northampton-ish direction.......????? Jess, WHERE DO YOU LIVE????? I think after this hold up I may not arrive until the morning (LOL) ...... I promise the gold paint is DRY. The huskies were licking it earlier and they don't have gold tongues............. Merry

merry . please ensure the paint on our carriage is dry before embarking upon this epic voyage - Much as i dont have a problem with a gold backside, tinsel tends to look some what ~well, less tinsell-y with gummed up with paint, not to mention my bum print immortalised on the..... erm...carriage for ever. Like most women i have the ability to sqeeze my bum cheeks together when standing but fail to see quite how i can do so on a journey of such duration, hence the predicted bum print could be some what misreprentaional of the size of my A*se. That wouldn't do at all! Jess x I'm trying ...i'm trying , keep me going please x

DISASTER!!!!!!!!!! I am at Salisbury and have suffered a slipped ski !!!!! Am at Kwik-Fit at the moment and they say they usually only do tyres.........In fact they are making huffing noises over my pram wheels as we speak......... (You will, I have no doubt, be glad to know that I packed an overcoat, so they are not aware of my attractive festive outfit.....) The huskies have temporarily gone on strike as they don't like one ski pointing to 12 o'clock and the other to nine o'clock.........so they are currently sitting in the doorway of the local butchers shop begging for treats...... Will be sending an update later...... Merry