General Chat

So do I maggie.

There was a chain called AJ's a few years ago and they did a lovely cheese and potato dish with cream sauce and veg in it. It was delicious and I would try to go in there as often as I could.

Unfortunately it would sometimes come back up with very little warning even before I had finished it all.

It did used to annoy me when I had to pay for it when I didn't even still have it!

Sharron, it's people like you who have brought this to the fore.
As was said a few years ago, those with narcissism don't know there is a problem - it's the rest of the world - or one unfortunate child!!
They (the narcissist) would wonder why they would need help, and the 'victim' would find it hard to describe why they thought their parent suffered from this, as it only vaguely affected others.

My mother was on the mild scale compared to others. My sister finally realised her attitude to me, when I was 50 odd years old!!
Actually, sometimes I'm not sure whether it was Narcissism or just a dislike of me - I was a definite 'accident', and (as I was constantly reminded) a 'difficult' baby - like I could change that!
I can assure everyone that, after the age of about 2 years I didn't 'cry for no reason'. I may have randomly thrown up - but it wasn't deliberate :-(
This was held against me (and not in a jokingly 'god you were awful' way) until she died.

Oh - and I still randomly throw up for no reason, but I don't hold it against me :-D :-D :-D

I am not trying to bear a grudge but I do think that we who have lived the miserable existence of being the child of a narcissist are in a position, now that we have the information to identify the reason for it, to turn our enormous negatives into positives for the benefit of the children who will have the same misfortune.

We may be the only people who can bring about this enormous good.

I wouldn't say it is about bearing grudges Wend. There are young people going through this now and not knowing that life could and should be happier.
There are a lot of people who think they are/were in the wrong who have not come to realise that it was not 'their fault'.

Who wants to spend the rest of their lives bearing grudges? I don't and I wont.

Onwards and upwards I say - forget 'em!!

My family narcissist sent a card but didn't sign it. That saved the worry of not putting 'with love' :-P

Every little step.

Whoever wrote that article should be made a saint.

I passed the link to a couple of mental healthcare professionals who had not heard of Narcissistic parents. I could almost hear the sound of pennies dropping.
Another small step but as long as the wheels keep turning.....

I don't know how much I believe that.

You have to be able to see it to count it.

As I explained to my doctor (because I am a know-all) he hasn't come across it because narcissists don't know there is a problem and when their victims present with problems, they are treated without ever factoring this outside influence into the diagnosis.

Well done, Sharron, and well done to your doctor for actually taking the time to read it.

I've just read an article that says more men than women suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Sounds about right!
Unfortunately women probably have/had more day-to-day contact with their children.

Maybe a little breakthrough.

Six weeks ago I went to the doctor for certificate due to my little wobbly and was telling him about the naricissism article. He said he would like a copy so OH took one to the surgery when he went for his flu jab.

I had to go for another certificate yesterday and the doctor had read the article and returned to it before my visit. What is more, he said he thought he could recognize his own mother- in- law in it.

He is interested I do believe and he had not been aware of the condition before.

One tiny step toward protecting other tiny children from suffering as we did.

I had to see the doctor the other day about my stress thing and was telling him about the wonderful article.

I told him the only way I know to bring it up on screen which is to type in the first few words of it because it is on various sites. This is evidently too hard for him so he wanted a copy of it.

OH is going for his flu jab this morning and he is taking one with him.

The more doctors who read it the better because nobody is going to be able to go into their surgery and tell them how they are being treated by a narcissist, it took the mastermind who wrote that article to do that.

If only we can get discussion going between doctors I hope we will make a bit of progress in helping all the other poor children who are suffering unaided and unrecognized.

It certainly helped me.

Thanks Tania.

Let's hope it does offer a bit of hope to somebody.

Just heard of another narcissistic parent
Thought it was time this popped back to the top for those who need it

OMG.

I have seen other children who are evident victims and have felt so helpless in being able to do nothing to help them.

This is why I want to do all I can to get the condition better known. It thrives on secrecy

Thank you Sharron. My sons ex wife now has a little boy from another relationship, my heart breaks with what he will have to endure.

nudged

Good idea Sharron.
It´s worth saying that some of us suffer from narcissistic husbands too.
It´s not just women who are like that.

I thought I might bring this up again in case somebody needs it.