General Chat

oh Stella thats bloody typical how did you not wring her neck.
In the last few days of my dads life a year ago (cancer sadly he ignored it until it was too late bless him) all she did was moan and hijack the nurses as she had cut her finger !!
Sad cow , It should have been her throat,but this is when i finally saw her true colours.and when i changed they way things were i no longer have to put up with her for his sake
I finely faced the fact that i hate her with a passion
but i don't let this affect my life anymore i concentrate on MY FAMILY instead
Great hubby, two lovely kids and five gorgeous grandkids and i keep them all well away from her (viper lips)
wish you all the best
Julie

the day i told my mother i had cancer she proceeded to tell me how much pain my cousin was in with a stiff neck, and could i cook the fish that was in the freezer for her.

Just been reading msgs, ((((hugs)))) to all.

Realize my first one could be read two ways:

My bm didn't adopt children, she gave them away for adoption, left one on a park bench as a baby, more to it. Neglected/abandoned me and my bro, he was 18 months old - she just went out, vanished, home alone.

Since discovered (was in Care) in my files that she regularly 'vanished' then returned to whovever she was with; she'd charm them until they 'saw' through her.

This is another trait of Narcissism.

Haven't seen her for 45 years.

From the moment she neglected and abandoned us, I've felt 'blue' on Mother's day (like Stella), my birthday (hers is the day before mine) and now ... just discovered she got married to newly found adopted half-siblings father ... day before I chose to get married.

What an inheritance. Stella so identify.

Sharron - thank you for thread, only just discovered meaning of word in my Care File describing her = narcissistic. For me just makes so much sense from what I know of her.

a mother like this would not apologise she thinks she is perfect and is never wrong!! My mother for one would not possibly belive for one second anything she ever did was wrong.She is a cold dead person who knows no true emotions.
If ever she did say sorry it would be in such a way that people would feel sorry for her but im sure many of you already know what these cold dead freaks are
really like.
Sorry if this offends anybody but it is true
Julie

Can't believe what I have just read. Phoned my brother & told him to read it. My mother has continued from beyond the grave, because as a result of things she said to my daughter before she died, my daughter now refuses to speak to me,or to let me see my 3 month old granddaughter. obviously I didn't love my mother enough!! Looks like the baby will grow up never having seen her only grandmother, as her father's mother has been dead for many years.
Thanks very much Mum.

Well done Gail.I was too often punished for failing in my duty to love and respect my mother and not putting in the effort to earn her love and respect to nurture any of those feelings for her.I can't pretend not to have despised her.She was never stinting in her description of how much she despised me.
Somehow you have managed to land in a better place than I.
I do wonder if a narcissistic mother would even recognize herself on here,unless Swallow is one.Now there's a thought.

well said Georgina ...

Hi Sharron,

If one of these mother's did contribute to the site, there certainly would not be an apology nor any insight into what they have done, nor a willingness to seek help and change.

I feel they would pile on more hurt to their victims.

Heads up high to us all, who have broken the circle and are cherishing our families.

I tried to post before but deleted it.

Sparrow, you sound just like my mum.

Most of us have moved on, and continue to do so. Threads like this make it easier when you realise you are not alone.

So proud of Sharron for having the courage to put this up in the first place.

My mother is gone now. I went to visit her grave today and put flowers on it. Why, because I am who I am today, despite everything. Even after all the hurt, I loved her and respected her. And feel a deep sadness that she missed the best part of ME.

I am strong, loveable and a nice person. I care about my family and adore and am grateful for everyone of them.

Gail

Stella,please don't waste your emotions getting upset on Mother's Day.Isn't that exactly what she wanted?If you do that she has won again and is,even now,controlling your emotions from the grave,as if she hadn't perpetrated enough evil in life.
Isn't this thread one sided?Not one narcissistic mother has come forward to defend their child-rearing methods.

I have to admit I felt a certain relief when my Mother passed away, 13 years ago next Friday. All my life I had to live it to please her, mustn't worry her or cause her problems, she tied me to her apron strings and made me see fear where there was none. I was not allowed to topple over railings in case I hurt my back, and many other things in that vein. When I had my son he was allowed to roll about and climb (within reason and with supervision when small) and she would tell me to stop him in case he hurt himself, but I wouldn't, I didn't want him growing up to be fearful. He climbed trees and rolled around in the grass etc etc just the way kids love to do, and yes, twice he had a plaster cast on his arm, from accidents playing on his skateboard and playing basketball, but he healed and had fun. I think my Mother was jealous of the freedom I had to do things and travel, something she had never done, as my Dad said when he got back from Egypt, Burma, Palestine etc after the war, he had seen all he wanted to see. They didn't have the money either to go far, never had a car and Dad never had a brilliant job but we got by, altho I am sure the scrimping and scraping and not letting me stay on at school as I would probably get married and be a kept woman (I didn't lol) has a lot to do with my ocd problems and hoarding etc.
I do worry about what I have put on my own son, in some ways, but hope I can help him through any problems without strangling him and holding him back, as my Mother did me

Lizx

Hi, Yes I'm still playing with my new toy !
I just read someting on how to divorce you parents ,

When our parents aren’t around, years after we’ve left home, we still carry our parents around with us - inside our brains. It is these parents we need to divorce. I want to stress this - it is the parents we carry around in our heads that we need to divorce. Our physical parents who exist outside of us are another story - they may even be dead - and so are well beyond us doing anything to them.

Now thats perceptive,the little voice we carry around with us ??? How to undo all the damage, suggestions on the back of a postage stamp please !

i get very up set on mothers day Sharron, wishing for what should have been... a mother who cared!.

i am so care ful to surround my own children in love and praise !

With you on that one Stella.Do you enjoy mother's day like I do?

Sparrow if I had a problem my mum also said get on with it. She didn't say lets try to do it together and it'll be okay! She warned of drowning, death and illness. Of bites, pecks kicks and stings. But as a child I didn't know how to get on with it, cos she had never shown me! Just warned of all that could go wrong, and when it did, she said I was right. Yes she is always right. Everyone knows that!
Now I can see I've had depression on and of since being a child, the anxiety started when I had my first child. Cos thats when all things mum warned me about could happen to my baby!

Lyndsey what a lovely friend to treat you like that xx

Shimering polka dot parrasol!! (What a name). Your mum was trying to make everyone think she was wonderful, looking after all those kids when her own didn't feel wanted. Hurts doesn't it xx

Stella I couldn't posibly put the reply that comes into my head reading your post, but you can probably guess it! xx

Yorkshire Lynn, this has helped me loads. I only clicked on it about a week ago cos I didn't know what it was. Then I realised I ticked lots of boxes!! It's me and my mum!! xx

i have just ordered the book"Children of the self absorbed"
thank you so much for this thread, i never started livi
ng until my mother died...isnt that an awful thing to say.

hi sharron
just to say thanks to your thread feel tons better
about myself also told my sisters' to read the
narcissistic mothers info
lynnx

Oh,Lindsey,that is lovely.Something new that doesn't come with instruction about how grateful you should be and careful in it's operation.It won't be taken back for some other,more deserving person either.I bet your friend didn't buy herself an enormous,all singing,all dancing one at the same time either so she could get the little one free to give to you.
Will you still be on here or too busy watching your new T.V?
Pleased for you anyway,you DO deserve it!

My mother was narcissistic. Many children, loads adopted, 2 (me + bro) neglected and abandoned. Once she was found out, she'd just move on, cut herself out of lives/photos; reinvent herself. Managed to 'hide' herself for 10 years, was found. When asked if she wanted to see us, her answer was, "NO!"

I googled it (dif site) a while back - explained so much. She even left baby on park bench.