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your opinion on - my neighbour

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 19:30

I need your opinion on what course to take with a neighbour of mine. We live in a cul de sac and theres about 20 young kids living here. About a month ago about 8 boys including mine were playing football on the concrete at one end of the cul de sac (which is outside where 3 of the boys live). A neighbour has come out taken their ball, had a moan and gone in. 2 weeks later we all got letter basically stating 'no ball games' and if it carried on all of them would get a asbo.

Tonight my son and a couple of others have knocked for his ball. He was told 'no chance unless your parents comes here' he then threatened to set his dog on them (apparently he called the dog over to them) and then his daughter came and and swore at them.

Now my way of dealing with things is i'm afraid to scream, shout and simply go bananas. My husband (much cooler than me - always has calm conversations, uses long words, and walks away) said I should do the same as him and put a complaint into the council about their behaviour.

What would you do?



SallyF Report 10 Jun 2008 19:34

I would go to his door knock and politely ask for their ball back. Also of course reminding him that is actually illegal to keep a ball, let alone take one off them. If it had been kicked into his garden he could have refused to let them get it, but he would also have not been allowed to remove it to anywhere else like a shed. Also tell him that you have composed a letter to take to the police regarding the threats to the children.
Who did the letter come from by the way?

Joanne in Burgess Hill™

Joanne in Burgess Hill™ Report 10 Jun 2008 19:35

Was the letter official, or from the neighbour? Either way I would calmly go and ask for the ball back - it's theft.



SallyF Report 10 Jun 2008 19:37

I do understand that a ball being kicked constantly on concrete can be extremely irritating. But that is no excuse for threats.
Is there anywhere else the boys can go to that is safe and near to play football.

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 19:40

The letter was from the council. The nearest park they can play footbal is nearly a mile away. my sons 10 so not too keen on him going there. Especially as there has been a few kids beaten up there by gangs of other kids. Its really hard because they want to play. Got a small garden they only have to kick the ball gently and its over the fence

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 19:41

Ps thank you both - I will have to practise 'calm' before I knock on his door though


SallyF Report 10 Jun 2008 19:44

Difficult then Julie. Can the other parents involved not come with you and back you up. In a quiet and calm way though. Just say something like:
'We understood you wanted to see us all. How can we help? Oh and by the way, while we're here we'll have the boys ball please.'

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 19:49

Thanks Sally I'll go and see the parents. I can't see any problems with them backing me. Its such a shame we (especially with 8 weeks holdidays coming up) There is 2 small grass verges as you come into the cul de sac but ' no ball games' signs are up. So all they are used for are people who dont live there to walk there dogs.

Thanks again Sally

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 20:11

Oh brilliant David. thanks for that. Your right he is a miserable old goat. He does have a short memory - his 2 daughters had motorbikes which they used to ride along the pavement at 2am when they came in a few years ago and woke everyone up - but hey we are all wrong, they never did that. Will contact CAB - didnt think of that . Thanks


SallyF Report 10 Jun 2008 20:12

David I think people like this want rowdy confrontation. And if you're polite it winds them up no end. Plus they can't then point the finger and say they were shouted at. I agree that if it's left he will get more and more stubborn and also demanding other things his own way.


SallyF Report 10 Jun 2008 20:14

Keep a diary of any events like this. Just in case you need to give any statements. That way you'll not seem like you're just making it up because you won't be umming and arring when trying to remember the exact dates and times.

Prince of Dreams

Prince of Dreams Report 10 Jun 2008 20:19

What a sad, sick society we live in these days. How did we allow this to happen? Looking back I cant put my finger on exactly when it all started. Any views anyone?

Prince of Dreams

Prince of Dreams Report 10 Jun 2008 20:20

Sorry Julie that post isnt any help is it. Try reason but I doubt it will achieve anything

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 10 Jun 2008 20:35

i appreciate all your comments. I will check back but have to have my dinner. Thanks to you all - it has been a great help. XX


AnninGlos Report 10 Jun 2008 21:10

If he has approached the council - which is why, I assume, you all got a letter, then why not do the same. Ask the council if they are aware that he has threatened to set his dog on the children. Is it a private house or is he a housing association/council tenant?


Sally Moonchild

Sally Moonchild Report 10 Jun 2008 21:16

I would like to know Julie, what authority he has to threaten the boys with an asbo.......has he taken over from the powers of the police and judiciary ??

Dizzy, whos still looking...... Yes still.....

Dizzy, whos still looking...... Yes still..... Report 10 Jun 2008 21:24

Sorry to put a downer on this even more but my advice would be buy the kids a new ball and only let them play where the council say they can, i say this because in my road a silly row over a football ended up with one man in prison for 9 months and a family of 5 being evicted........

Glenys the Menace!

Glenys the Menace! Report 10 Jun 2008 21:30

Reading your first posting Julie, I'm with your hubby here.

And I would like to put in a complaint of my own!

Please, other members, don't insult genuine goats!
Seriously, good luck Julie; keep us posted. BTW, that was me deleting the last posting, as I duplicated it. Doh.


Sally Report 10 Jun 2008 21:58

First thing , do not go near his door , as he would then have you for a breach of the peace , or/and threatening behaviour, which is why he told the boys to get their parents . call the police for advice regarding the ball , write a letter to the council and get the other parents to sign it. and insist they give the kids somewhere nearer to home to kick their ball about, as children these days dont have to go far from their front door to be attacked, you hear it in the news every day,tell the council if anything happens to any of the boys you will hold them responsible.
10 years ago my daughter was assaulted at the age of 15 by a 19 year old who was living in a half way house for young offenders,who was on drugs while living there,I went down to the place walked in (as there was no security),the manager was playing a computer game and I had to draw his attention to myself being in the luck would have it the 19 year old walked in , so I jumped him and then told the manager to call the police or I would,it was only when I went to hit him again that the police were called , I waited till they got there and told them what he did to my dauhgter / and what I did to him.he was charged and sentenced, at court his solicitor asked me if I did anything to his client,I turned to the judge and told him I thumped the poor excuse for a human being and if he did'nt remove him from my precence I would do it again....he ajourned the court till the next day for sentencing, with instructions that I not be allowed in.then I got the half way house closed down.this was a very bad assault.and I could not sit back and watch some other poor girl go through what mine did.and I would do it all again if I had was only 2 streets away from my home.
Sally x

***Libra Lady***

***Libra Lady*** Report 11 Jun 2008 08:54

Good on you Sally. Its terrible that you are frightened for your children to go out at any age now. You give them a mobile phone incase there is any truoble and need you and someone steals it off them. Its a scary world. We were thinking of moving but where do you move too. It happens everywhere.

I'd like to thank you all for replying. Ive been boiling over it but when you get other opinions it certain helps get the brain back in order.

Won't go down and speak to them (you are right - pointless) I will ring the council and police and let them deal with it.

Thanks so much

ps Ive calmed down a bit now