Well, to be honest... I know plenty of cars like that LOL (and my computer does none of those things except the last) ;-)
This is an old analogy but it still makes me smile:
MicroSoft vs Car analogies
"At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated :
'.. if GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask, "are you sure?" before deploying.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
He aint going to sell of, he is going to retire. No doubt he will still turn up for the Champers at the AGM and get a non-exec salary ten time what many of us earn.
Without him we wouldn't have computers as we know them today.
Love the picies of him with long hair. Reminds me of my wedding photo.
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you
to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he
ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we
can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon
which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a
single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the
PC at home only.
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My
Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office
Last one to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?