Todays lesson :))))
Account: A countess' husband. Accrue: The people who run a ship. Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do. Benign: What you be after you be eight. Burglarize: What a crook sees with. Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Derange: Where dee buffalo roam. Experience: The name people give to their mistakes. Fancy restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose. Flabbergasted: Appalled over how much weight you have gained. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Grocery list: What you spend half-an-hour writing, then forget to take with you to the supermarket. Handkerchief: Cold storage. Hangnail: What you hang your coat on. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot. Misty: How some golfers create divots. Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies more. Negligent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. Opportunist: A person who, when they fall into a river, starts taking a bath. Psychologist: A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. Recliner: Mom's nickname for Dad. Relief: What trees do in the spring. Seamstress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six. Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
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Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. Baloney: Where some skirt hemlines fall. Barium: What we do to most people when they die. Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Burglarize: What a crook sees with. Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people. Clothes dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks. College: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. Divorce: The future tense of marriage. Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist. Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. Father: A banker provided by nature. Gossip: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. Heroes: What a guy in a boat does. Independent: How we want our children to be, as long as they do everything we say. Kissing: A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Oily: The opposite of late. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence after. Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife. Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time. Show-off: A child who is more talented than yours Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction. Vegetarian: Old Indian word for bad hunter. Wrinkles: Something other people have. You have character lines. Yawn: An honest opinion, openly expressed.
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