THIS WOULD BE FUNNY IF IT WASN'T SO BANG ON THE
Imagine the scenario....
Gordon Brown flies into Washington , still an unknown quantity to most
people in the U.S. despite his bizarre appearance on American Idol
recently. In advance of the trip, profiles of the Prime Minister have
been appearing in the U.S.
This column tuned in by satellite to Eye-Witness News, Palm Beach , for
a preview of the visit:
'Good morning America , how are you? This is your favourite son, Chad
Hanging, reporting. The President of Englandland, Norman Brown, is
arriving in our nation's capital this afternoon to meet with President
Bush. But just who is this guy? Let's cross to our special correspondent
Hey, Chad . As you can see, I'm standing in the world-famous Trafalgar
Circus, with the House of Fayed directly behind me.
So what can you tell us about Norman Brown?
Well, Chad , he has been President for some nine months now. He used to
What, you mean he's, like, German?
No, that's what they call their Treasury Secretary over here.
And is he a Conservative, like President Tony Blair?
No, Chad . He's Labour. President Blair wasn't a Conservative, either.
He only pretended to be.
So how did Brown get the job?
He just kept shouting at President Blair until he stood down.
But he won an election, right?
No, Chad , there wasn't an election. He did think about calling one, but
decided against it because he was frightened he might lose.
How can you change Presidents without having an election? I mean, it's
not like President Blair was assassinated.
That's just the way it works in Englandland. The leader of the party
with the most seats in the House of Lords gets to be President.
So Norman Brown was elected leader of the Labour Party?
Negative, again, Chad . He did raise money and have a leadership
campaign, but no one stood against him.
What, nobody? No primaries, no general election, nothing?
Affirmative, Chad .
Let me get this straight. His party hasn't elected him, the country
hasn't elected him, yet he still gets to be President. Sounds like a tin
pot Commie dictatorship to me.
You could say that, Chad . Norman Brown doesn't really like anyone being
given the chance to vote on anything.
Someone must have voted for him, some time.
Oh, yes. He was elected to the House of Lords by his constituents in
He's Scoddish, then?
That's a big Ten-Four, Chad.
So is he President of Scotlandland, too?
No, that's a guy called Alan Salmon.
Hang on, if Brown's from Scotlandland, how can he be President of
That's just the way it goes in this crazy country, Chad . Brown can make
laws for Englandland, but not for his own people in Scotlandland. Not
that it matters much because Brown has signed away most of Englandland's
lawmaking powers to unelected European bureaucrats in Brussels ,
That would be like stripping Congress of the power to make laws in
America and handing it over to Mexico .
I guess so.
How in the Hell did the people of Englandland vote for that?
They didn't. Brown wouldn't let them, even though it was a solemn
promise in his party's manifesto the last time people were allowed to
Couldn't the Supreme Court have stopped him?
Not really. The Supreme Court of Englandland is now in Strasbourg ,
where the geese come from
Isn't there any opposition?
There's a guy called Boris.
I wouldn't be surprised, Chad . There are millions of Eastern Europeans
living here now, mainly in Peterburl. Englandland has seen mass
immigration over the past ten years, but no one voted for that, either.
What in the name of Ulysses S. Grant is going on over there, Brit? We're
talking about the country which gave us Magna Carta, saw off the Armada,
stood alone against Hitler and invented parliamentary democracy. How
does Norman Brown get away with it? He must be a popular guy.
Far from it, Chad . According to the latest opinion polls, he's the most
unpopular President ever. His approval ratings are even worse than
George Dubya Bush. There's talk about him having to stand down soon.
He's already promised the job to some guy who works for him - name of
Say again, Brit, you're breaking up.
I said Balls.
You're damn right there, buddy.
that lot took some typing
Must admit i C & p'd it from another site.
Hi McB, glad someone is truthful in Englandland !!
very clever and sadly oh so true!!!!
Brilliant!! Just about sums it up!!
Apart from the fact that if these proceedings were in Africa or Asia Britian would have set up sanctions as it sounds so undemocratic..............................
I suppose that's democracy for you....................
Do as I say - not as I do
Well, it got the part right about the yank in the scenario not having a clue, anyway.
Barrack Obama recently had a comment about the President of Canada.
Can you do one in reverse -- all about how over half of the population of the US voted against its current President ....... but their Supreme Court stopped the votes from being counted?
I'll bet nobody in Englandland would believe that one.
Thank you so much for a good laugh......x
McB - love it!!!
Thanks for taking the trouble to share it.
So very true. How did we get to this state?