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rudeness

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

dealie

dealie Report 18 Jul 2008 21:41

Hi all, just to let you know that i spoke to Dea by pm and everything is now fine. thank you all. regards dealie/jan

dealie

dealie Report 18 Jul 2008 18:34

Hi Sally F, just thought i'd say that Dea and i also comunicated through pms,don't want people to think i would ignore anyone who have offered their help.

MayBlossomEmpressofSpring

MayBlossomEmpressofSpring Report 18 Jul 2008 15:10

I can't thank people enought for pointing me in the right direction when I first started to get the hang of a computer at age 74, all the problems of how to actually use the thing and then getting the hang of the boards and speaking to people on line, then e-mail problems not the mention the amazing help I got when I finally had the courage to ask for help to find my ancestors, so different from going to rural studies libraries, I had no idea where to start but Katheryn B and Malcom in Australia soon had me on the right path I did say thanks at the time to everyone who helped to get me started and give me courage to ask and I still say thank you and mean it, good manners cost nothing.Thanks go also to Haley for introducing me to every one, and also to Catherine and everyone I have spoken to on boards for making me welcome

SallyF

SallyF Report 18 Jul 2008 14:56

Part of the reason the boards keep erupting into warfare, imho, is the fact that we have no way of hearing the tone that someone is using when they post something. IRL we can often tell by the tone of voice whether they're cross, happy, excited etc. But on here there is none of that.

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 18 Jul 2008 14:51

I can see it from Deas side too Sally, thats why I suggested a simple post explaining as she did here should clear the matter up. Lets hope so anyway, I would hate to see someone lose some valuable help over a misunderstanding.

SallyF

SallyF Report 18 Jul 2008 14:43

TBH Teresa I saw it the other way round to you. It seemed to me that while others were being acknowledged Dea was beibg totally overlooked till yesterday.
Different ways of looking at things I think.

Merlin

Merlin Report 18 Jul 2008 14:42

Kitty, 6 years away from the "Bog" tut tut girl,did,nt you know there are things you can get for "Constipation".**M**.:o)))>pmsl.xx.

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 18 Jul 2008 14:41

Well, from looking at the thread, it seems that one, abeit generous researcher was somewhat short of patience..needlessly, and I can honestly see where dealie is coming from.

That said, it would mend fences now if a comment were put on the thread. However, we dont know what was said in PM..nor should we.

Just add to the thread dealie, and explain as you have explained to us on here...it'll be fine.

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 18 Jul 2008 14:33

well I admit to being 67 and a member for 5 years. and, although I have been researching for 30 years I still consider myself, compared to some people, ignorant of where to go for the best information etc. I mean with individual brick walls rather than general. Ancestry is fine but some of my brick walls are well cemented.

Why not politely ask for background info before sorting out the searching? i am sure people wouldn't mind if it was put in a nice way.

Ann
Glos

JaneyCanuck

JaneyCanuck Report 18 Jul 2008 14:30

Actually, dealie/Jan -- what you need to do, now that you've vented, is go back to your thread and tell Dea how much you appreciate her work. You don't seem to have informed her that you now agree that she found your people in two censuses against all odds.

(I suspect that Dea suffers from the same disability as me -- using exclamation marks to express enthusiasm, having them interpreted as "aggressive".)

Ann -- heh heh, maybe not the helpfulness in principle, but the patience with ancient learners? ;)

I wish there was a function here where we could see users' profiles -- just basic info like where they are and what age range they are, how they rate their genealogy experience/expertise, how long they've been a member, that sort of thing. It could really help in tailloring responses.

Ah, in this place, if wishes were horses ...


And I do think people are entitled to see for themselves what the situation was:

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.asp?wci=thread&tk=1061120

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ Report 18 Jul 2008 14:30

Oh Joan..................60 isn't old!!!!

85 is getting on a bit...............but certainly not 60!

*says she 6 years away from the bog 60* lol

Ooops I mean big, not bog *rolls eyes*

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 18 Jul 2008 14:19

Most people I have come across are really patient Janet, don't let the few who are not upset you.

Kathryn, anyone who has seen how many people you have helped will not be surprised to know it was your name there.

Ann
Glos

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 18 Jul 2008 14:17

Jan, don't let it put you off hun. If you need to ask for some help, go ahead and ask....

dealie

dealie Report 18 Jul 2008 14:15

Thanks everyone for listening to my temper tantram, i feel better now, i was the receiver of someones hard research which confused me with different names for my family,being of feeble mind now i've just turned sixty, they seem to have lost patience with me, but now i've excepted it the reply was better. I will now continue with painting my bedroom before i go back to work tomorrow. I will take a glass of wine with me upstairs now . Cheers to all you great people out there. Love Jan.

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 18 Jul 2008 13:59

Janet, I'm sure that the majority of helpers on here understand that some people may not come back to a thread immediately, falling over themselves with gratitude, simply because life gets in the way. It really is only one or two people, who expect that if someone posts a question, they should be glued to the board without break for the next 48 hours while they research your answers.

It's not always possible, and I'm sure acknowledgement once able to get back is sufficient.

JaneyCanuck

JaneyCanuck Report 18 Jul 2008 13:56

Yup. It's their choice to acknowledge that you've spent your time trying to help them and thank you for that -- or not.

And then it's your choice to ignore their bad manners -- or not.

Cheeses I'm tired of being lectured by people who don't really have a clue.

I will go to the ends of the earth to help someone find their missing ancestors, and I will patiently explain everything I've done, and what they can do so they can continue on for themselves another time.

My patience for people who don't have the common sense and common courtesy to familiarize themselves even slightly with how the help boards operate before spamming them is admittedly in short supply sometimes.

It's just amazing, though, how many of those people, once they've got the help they were after even despite themselves, do see the light.

One of my favourites from the Success board:

"20th January 2008 11:02
thank you to _________, for all her patient work on my behalf, and for sorting out my blunders for me. Do not despair, ancient learners,some kind soul will help you ....Joan."

I'm sure half the world will fall over in amazement to learn that the name in the blank is mine.

And I wish all the busybodies telling the people who do the work of these boards that they're doing it all wrong and they're terrible rude people would just stop.

Anybody who doesn't like how somebody else does it is quite free to do it themselves.

~~~Secret Red ^^ Squirrel~~~  **007 1/2**

~~~Secret Red ^^ Squirrel~~~ **007 1/2** Report 18 Jul 2008 13:43

Hello Janet, are you all right?

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 18 Jul 2008 13:39

Who's upset you Janet?

dealie

dealie Report 18 Jul 2008 13:38

Do all please remember that when anyone asks for any help it is your choice to reply and their choice to except your input, although your hard work is appreciated you must realise not everyone can be on the computer as often as most. I am however very grateful for any help i have received thus far. More patience please for us slower and elder researchers in the community.
Thanks Janet Stuart