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Decorations on grave.....update

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


AnninGlos Report 20 Jul 2008 12:30

Taff, as you can see we all agree with you. You are justified in being annoyed. You haven't mentioned if you see much of your grandsons though, if it is the case that they are taken over by your daughter's in laws then it is them you have to tell you are removing it as they seem to have influenced the grandson. However, knowing how distressed you still are at the loss of your daughter, her eldest child must still be distressed too. maybe this was one way that they tried to help him but have gone way over the top. If you have contact with him, could you not help him make a little memorial garden in your garden for him to tend when/if he visits? We lost a grandson at birth and in our front garden we have a circular stone container (like a wheel) full of rockery plants which we call Toby's garden, it is our memorial to him and gives me pleasure to know it is there.



Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 12:29

good thinking kitty, will ask for that when i ring in the morning!


Kay???? Report 20 Jul 2008 12:28 disagree..that a 6 year old boy wouldnt have chosen Pink..of course they would it was for a lady,,that being his mummy..........!!isnt that the norm ,Pink for a girl,,,,,,,,
Sorry Taff,,,,,,of course you must do what you feel is best,and its sorted for you,

Perhaps you can have a gentle word with your grandson and say that its lovely but the cem wont allow all thats been placed and would he like to visit with you and just leave a small token that he put there,,,,,,,,,?


Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 12:26

Kitty, i understand what your saying, the boys leave little "gift" when they visit, but a fence andgravel? i would have liked to been asked at least.

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ Report 20 Jul 2008 12:24

It is possible he had some input though, best to be sure in case he is upset too.

If the groundkeepers take it away, ask for a letter stating why and pass it on to the cousin.


Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 12:23

Kay, if the Groundkeepers take it all away, what can i say? I did explain that to the other Gran yesterday, also it would have to be taken away when I put the headstone there!!


PinkDiana Report 20 Jul 2008 12:22

Lets be honest here.... why would a BOY chose Pink? Its so obviously the cousin who thought that gem up!!

And yes you have every right to be angry!!!

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ Report 20 Jul 2008 12:21

That's a good point Kay...............he is 6 and might just have helped put it all together for his Mum.

Tread carefully before you act, just in case it was his idea..............good luck with your decision.


Kay???? Report 20 Jul 2008 12:20

If your grandson has had any input or choosen something wont he be somewhat upset when he visits again?


Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 12:18

So my anger is justifyable then?


PinkDiana Report 20 Jul 2008 12:16

Oh Taff - I'd have been mortified!!!!!! And no matter what colour it was it would have hit the bin!!



PinkDiana Report 20 Jul 2008 12:15

Sally you're right - I was upset for days!!



Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 12:14

Pink, if it was just plastic flowers I wouldnt say so much,as they could have been replacedwith real ones, but i found a pink(sorry no pun intended) plastic lantern with a tea candle in it amongst all the other "bits and Bobs"""
apart from all that what about the picture of my daughter and her sons hanging around the cross, the cross has her D.O.B. and D.O D ,great for fraud!!!

Sally Moonchild

Sally Moonchild Report 20 Jul 2008 12:11

I remember you telling me about that one Pinks, and how upset you were......x


PinkDiana Report 20 Jul 2008 12:08


I can totally understand your despair at not being consulted.

I arrived at Daddy's grave one day to find plastic flowers on it.... now I know others wouldn't find this distasteful but Daddy and I loved real flowers/plants and he has a real garden there, why not add a plant rather than stick some plastics in it???

I binned them immediately cos its my plot and as I am the only person that visits it regularly I didn't want to see them there!

I hope you sort it soon.



Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 11:50

This cousin, I met for 1/2 hour 5 years ago! i wouldnt even recognise her now, nor do I know where she lives, but I really dont feel as if i could have a polite chat with her!!
I really dont think a 6 year old would have come up with idea of fencing and gravel? do you? no disrespect intended.


Barrie Report 20 Jul 2008 11:34

A message from a banned member is
What i told you is right

Good Luck Taff



cane Report 20 Jul 2008 11:33

hi taff,
feel so sorry for you cos i am sure you are still grieving the sad loss of your daughter,with it not being that long ago since she was taken from must speak how you are feeling to this cousin (people at this age can be so inconsiderate)

gather your two young granchildren together ,take them along with you to the cemetery,and talk together abt the things that you could all change.

wishing you all the very best ,

gwen xx

Fresh as a Daisy

Fresh as a Daisy Report 20 Jul 2008 11:31

Could it be possible that in converstaion with his cousin your grandson has asked if he can take things to his mum and told her what he would like to do as regards to the toys etc,it might be worthwhile having a word yourself with your grandson and see who's idea it all was as it would be terrible to upset him if this is what he had asked for.I'm sure little ones don't see things as we do.

Having said that I do think the cousin should have spoken to you first and then you could have done something together with your grandson,find out what the position is with regards to the Cemetery rules and then maybe you could explain to him it isn't allowed if that is the case.Maybe you could involve him in choosing the headstone for his mum.



Taff Report 20 Jul 2008 11:28

Angel song, and all of you that have taken the time and bother to reply, many thanks, i now feel, I am not over reacting and will take the stuff away!!