General Chat

I contacted a GR member yesterday to enquire about whether we had a match after checking a name on the site. I didn't expect her to give me any information re her research just whether we had a match. I like to check details myself rather than accept someone's information.
Well the reply I got today was so abrupt and I don't mean the 'sorry not my relative'.
I don't want to put what was said here but believe me I replied very quickly .
I thought the whole purpose of GR was to find ancestors.
Am I missing something?

I'll go and calm down now. lol

Di

Just wanted to add that I also received another reply today to an enquiry from another member which was really helpful.

thats awfull di
thi is a site to find relies dead or alive
you cant help who your related hun and im sorry you were spoke to in a bad way love puss xxxx

Sorry not a relative is a standard answer that you can choose from the list on hot matches....means you dont actually have to type anything!....she / he prob checked and discovered no link and that was the quickest way to respond....I always send a pm though much more personal that the system bog off message

I had a response once that answered my very detailed question re parents names and place of birth............................




No!!!! LOL

Colin - What I got wasn't the standard reply. I only wish it was. lol.

Di

oops in that case not any excuse to be rude

its a shame they feel like they have to be rude.... i try to help and if i cannot i say im sorry that im no use...xx

*tries to work out what it was......hmmm....lol...

If it was offensive, report it to GR and let them deal with it.

Not sure how they punish people that don't post on the boards though........................:))))

I love the ones that come totally out of no where just saying 'please can i view your tree?' .............. LOL

well - no - lets establish a link first pmsl

Don't get your knickers in a knot hun.............not worth rising your blood pressure over.

Agree with Kitty though. If they were offensive it should be reported. If they were just rude, I would reply and tell them so.

Kitty
Have looked at the guidelines for message board use but don't think PM's are covered.
My only hope is that we are not related. Would hate to have her as a relly.

Have calmed down after reading the Ebay Item Thread. If you've not read it please do. Haven't laughed so much for ages.

This week I have had had 3 "You have a message from . . . . (the same person in every case) e-mails. Problem is, all of the messages are completely blank.

it dont take much do it to be polite and civil,
i write to people adn say i hope you dont mind me asking,

id get real offended if they shouted at me

Hi

Also what makes me angry is when people ask for help, and you take the time to reply and give advice, not just FH but anything on any forum and they then log in the same time as you and are reading your reply, and they dont acknowledge your reply. You can on some forums tell, because normally their side avatar says when they last logged in, and if it says it was after you posted your response, that is annoying as they have probably read the reply.

I hate people that are like that who ask for other opinions, yet never give any thanks or acknowledgment afterwards. I dont expect a standing ovation, but a thanks would be good.

HI Gemqueen, I hope your'e feeling better about things today. It can be hard for some people to know how to respond, but it doesn't take more than a minute to put something nice. I always try to remember to thank people for their time even if i get a "not my relative response". may be the person you contacted was not worth the effort. good luck with future searching, please don't be put off by this person. ( I am trying to contact birth family so have had to learn to be very diplomatic)