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OVER 50'S THREAD - SCARY THINGS

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:54

okay that's it failed them all so i'm off to the knackers yard, bye all

Wenders

Wenders Report 29 Oct 2008 19:51

As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert

1. What do you put in a toaster?
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house
is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or "no man's land"?
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading,
six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
get off and four get on. In Cardiff! , 11 people get off and 16 people
get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In
Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?



Answers
1 "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
2 Cows drink water. If you said "milk," . Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
3 Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why
the hell are you still reading these???
4 You don't bury survivors.
5 Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

David

David Report 29 Oct 2008 19:50

So, you had your Sanatogen ?

David

David Report 29 Oct 2008 19:49

63

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:49

Aw david that's lovely, do you think you could try the same dream for me please :)

David

David Report 29 Oct 2008 19:48

Got called an "old git"

:)))

Not in the dream

Jane

Jane Report 29 Oct 2008 19:47

Where is Colin ? he hasn't lost his way back from the loo has he Didn't he find Albert there last night?Or was it the night before.

David

David Report 29 Oct 2008 19:46

Thank you Foggy and Barbara and Helen xx

Just before I awoke this morming I dreamed of my late aunt May.

She was much younger, taller, slimmer, smiling.. Isn't that remarkable ?

Jane

Jane Report 29 Oct 2008 19:41

Popping in quick to say Happy Birthday David.now rushing off to cook tea.
Will be to back to see all those songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember them all lol.
Back later

Foggy

Foggy Report 29 Oct 2008 19:41

thanks young Barbra2

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:39

For making me smile I send you a kiss
For making me laugh I send you a wish
I wish with all my might
Foggy dear you'll have a nice night

xx

Foggy

Foggy Report 29 Oct 2008 19:32

Cor, whish it was my birthday....lol

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:31

Happy Birthday honey and here's to many more.

kisses x 63 from a younger bit of stuff

well only just lol

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:29

63 what david? birthdays or women or pints or....

Foggy

Foggy Report 29 Oct 2008 19:29

Happy Birthday old fella

David

David Report 29 Oct 2008 19:28

63 today

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:23

aw brill Foggy, I must be about ready for the scrap yard lol

Foggy

Foggy Report 29 Oct 2008 19:18

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter. .... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

Wenders

Wenders Report 29 Oct 2008 19:18

I could plant potatos in mine
furrows that is

LadyBarbara

LadyBarbara Report 29 Oct 2008 19:12

Too right WW

I think my wrinkles are putting scaffolding up to build some more, they appear overnight.

xx