General Chat

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

Love it b!!!
Caz xxx

Want another ?

Ooeerrr lol


Yes please

In a min.

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just flaming beautiful!''

Hi McB,

See you are on form tonight, lol.

Frances

pmsl Brian!!


Caz xxxxxxxxxx

Hiya Frances

Another ?

Yes please!

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own flaming business.

A refuse collector is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back of the house, but still can't see it. So, against the rules of the refuse collector's code but in the spirit of kindness, he knocks on the door.

There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Japanese bloke comes to the door.

'Harro!' says the Japanese chappie.
'Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?' asks the collector
'I bin on toiret' explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
'No mate, where's your dust bin?'.
'I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man - still perplexed.
'Listen,' says the collector.
'You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie bin?'

'Ok. Ok ' replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin.

' I wheelie bin havin sex wirra wife's sister.........!'


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bob

Observing The Baby One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib.

Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only £22."

Love the dust bin one lol