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Dementia Support Updated

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tiger Lil

Tiger Lil Report 8 Dec 2008 13:57

Hi there,

Just thought I would add my mother's experience as it gave me an insight into how the mind can work.

Several years ago my mother had a major 11 hour operation and afterwards she was simply not herself. She shouted and swore at the staff in the intensive care unit, said that they were trying to kill her, threw things, tried to get out of bed and phoned my dad and demanded that he come to take her home immediately.

She said that the doctors were carrying out black magic rituals and called the priest who came to visit his wife every day 'Father Bathbrick'.

This was not my mum who was very gentle, never swore and had no agression in her at all. After a few days of this the doctor diagnosed a urine infection and once this had been treated thank god I got my lovely mum back again.

She was absolutely mortified at what she had done (she remembered some of it) but she explained what she was thinking and feeling at the time. She said that part of her brain kept telling her not to be silly but there was a person behind her (she knew who it was as it was someone she had known as a child and didn't like) who was whispering in her ear and telling her that the staff were trying to kill her. She was frightened and the voice just would not go away although she told it to. The voice was louder than the part of her brain that told her it was all nonsense.

She also had hallucinations - she saw flowers with ugly faces and sharp teeth growing from the ward floor. She would shut her eyes and tell herself not to be so stupid, but when she opened them again, they would still be there. She saw the doctor's dancing in a row in front of her, dressed as witches.

She said that at the time it was all absolutely real to her - she actually heard the voice and saw the ugly flowers. This was a surprise to me as my mum was not in the slightest bit fanciful, she was a very down to earth person.

I have known people with Alzheimer's and dementia both before and since and although my mum's experience was different it helps me understand how awful it must be for them. I sympathise with everyone who is going through this experience with a relative.

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 8 Dec 2008 12:27

Nudge

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 4 Dec 2008 14:58

Hi Everyone back from my few days away it was so nice. Hope you are all well

Little White Dove
Sorry to hear you have lost your Aunt may she RIP

I also think it would be a relief for the families and I agree it is cruel.
Much as I don't want my brother to die I really hate seeing him suffer like this and wish he would peacefully slip away to a better place.
Regards
Jackie

LittleWhiteDove2022351

LittleWhiteDove2022351 Report 30 Nov 2008 18:34

Thankyou for your sympathy each of you.
it is a relief as her daughters have been going and sitting with her every day for months now. It has been heartbreaking and so cruel.
I worry that my Mum is thinking will it be like that for her. Not knowing anybody not really seeing or hearing unable to eat or drink.
It is a blessing my Aunty is now at peace.
For that I think we will all be thankful.
It tears you apart to see them suffering like that.

Jane

Jane Report 30 Nov 2008 18:29

LWD Sorry you have lost your Auntie Beattie.She sounds very much like my mum,who died nearly 4 years ago with dementia.It is sad but also a relief.
Helen x
I think this is a really good thread.

teesdale

teesdale Report 30 Nov 2008 18:05

LWD sorry to hear of your loss

LittleWhiteDove2022351

LittleWhiteDove2022351 Report 30 Nov 2008 17:59

Ah Bev I remember this poem so well. It brings life home doesn't it?

My Aunty Beatie died today my Mums sister,Going to be hard for Mum to accept. Beatie had alzeimers and has been lost to us for a few years now. She was fiery old lady. Very strong willed. Incredibly funny though with a heart of gold.She will be sadly missed by all her family.
God Bless
Tricia xx

PolperroPrincess

PolperroPrincess Report 30 Nov 2008 15:46

An Old Lady's Poem

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten...with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who all love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman...and nature is cruel;

'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurses, open and see, ...

Not a crabby old woman; look closer...see ME!!

Bev x

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 27 Nov 2008 05:57

HI Again Everyone
Just to let you know I am going away for a few days from Tomorrow until 5th December. Having a bit of Quality time with my sister.
Hope you all have a good week
Catch up with you when I get back.
Take Care
Regards
Jackie

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 25 Nov 2008 04:34

Good afternoon Everyone
Beautiful Day here in Perth today.

Helen thanks for enquiring about my brother.
Went to see him yesterday not a lot of change this week but we tried to play cards with him for a while to keep his mind active. All he did was cheat lol. We got a couple of smiles out of him anyway. He really wasn't sure what he was doing. He did write down on his Whiteboard GUITAR so we asked him if he would like us to bring it in for him. He got all excited so I am taking it down on Thursday for him. Not sure if he will still be able to play it but nurse said it can't do any harm. He was a great singer and Guitarist.
WE also asked if we could titivate his room up a bit as it looks so Clinical. The nurse said that was fine. So we are going to buy him a Jazzy Doona and a Banana Pillow and have got Photo's in Frames for his room and some little knick knacks. Maybe just maybe some familiar things will help him along the way.
Well that's all for today my friends
Hope you and your families are well and
Have a great day
Hugs
Jackie

teesdale

teesdale Report 24 Nov 2008 15:28

n

Jane

Jane Report 23 Nov 2008 18:57

All quiet here I see .Jackie how is your brother doing today?

teesdale

teesdale Report 23 Nov 2008 18:54

n

Jane

Jane Report 22 Nov 2008 19:46

Keep this thread going folks.

teesdale

teesdale Report 22 Nov 2008 19:16

n

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 22 Nov 2008 04:32

Hi Everyone
Have a great day

Regards
Jackie

teesdale

teesdale Report 21 Nov 2008 18:26

hi everyone

hope everyones okay

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 20 Nov 2008 05:34

HI Everyone
Hope you all have a pleasant day.
Thank you to the ones that PMd me it is much appreciated
Hugs
Jackie

WhackyJackieInOz

WhackyJackieInOz Report 19 Nov 2008 12:22

Hi Everyone

Thank You Helen

Thanks Little White Dove
Hope you Mum is well today.

Had a better day today went and had a facial and a neck and back massage. But then I am lucky I have a niece that owns a Beauty Salon so I don't have to pay which is even better. I take them all lunch in return for her kindness. Today I made them Lasagne. Went down pretty well so they tell me lol

Hope you all have a pleasant day

Pat thank you for you PM

Regards
Hugs
Jackie

LittleWhiteDove2022351

LittleWhiteDove2022351 Report 18 Nov 2008 16:16

Jackie, Sorry to hear your brothers not so good at the moment. Love to you and him and your sister.

Bev how can they say no fun and no music.ffs it makes all the difference to the patients/clients. Can make the difference to the being happy and sad because most of them do recognise tunes they used to like.
Off to the PO.
take care everyone xxxxxx