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phoning lost relitives

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Adam

Adam Report 5 Jan 2010 13:25

is it ok to cold call a possible relitive
i found phone number using BT Phone book online
he may be in his 90's and not even know he has a son(my dad)

Rambling

Rambling Report 5 Jan 2010 13:35

In a word 'No' ...not in those circumstances ! If the man possibly doesn't know he even has a son... the shock could be very very great and especially at that age.

I would advise you sit and write a very careful letter first, say who you are, who your dad is and why you think there may be a link... and as you say 'possible' relative..try and be as sure as you can be before doing so...

Researching:

Deanna

Deanna Report 5 Jan 2010 13:37

Adam it is your choice entirely, me?
I would take a chance.
An awful lot of charm and diplomacy is obviously needed.
Good luck, I hope something good comes from it for you.
Deanna X

Deanna

Deanna Report 5 Jan 2010 13:40

AH.... I did not read that properly.
I think Rose is right, if you have an address it would be best to wrote first.
You could perhaps, put your phone number in the letter giving him the chance to think and act at his own speed. Or not.... you have to accept that too.
GOOD LUCK.
Deanna X

Adam

Adam Report 5 Jan 2010 22:09

ok so i will write a letter but what do put in a letter to someone who you didn't even know about a month ago and who maybe dosen't even know about you

PollyPoppet

PollyPoppet Report 5 Jan 2010 22:26

Hi Adam
Be as gentle as you can as everyone says you have to take in to account his age and he does not know of your existance yet so could be a shock for him
tell him you are trying to trace your family tree and believe he knew your mother give him details about her if you can to see if he knew her
before you jump in saying you think he is your dad try to find a connection first
Good luck