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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 22:40

Yes, but they sometimes need a new one to prevent in-breeding :-0


AnnCardiff Report 19 Nov 2012 22:36

and most villages already have a resident idiot

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 19 Nov 2012 22:36

Nice Ann :-D

I think that with my love of all things 'Tolkien' I shall opt for 'Trollum' :-D


Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 22:35

Hayley, it takes a lot of time (pun intended) and dedication to teach cuckoos to tell the time, which is why they are so important for the swiss economy: not to mention the money expended in fittting them all with miniature wrist watches, or in this case ankle watches, so that they know when to make the correct appearance.

A cuckoo time trainer is a very important person in Switzerland.

A person who is just cuckoo, however, has to find a suitable village :-D

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 19 Nov 2012 22:30

Hayley take your pick between Dolly Parton or Merle Haggard
( depending on how deep your voice is lol) :-)

Or Johny Cash and June Carter


AnnCardiff Report 19 Nov 2012 22:29

hand in the air excitedly - I know a Wumtroll - I know a Wumtroll!!!!


supercrutch Report 19 Nov 2012 22:25

*falls off commode laughing* :-D :-D :-D :-D

I LOVE IT!!!!!

Hayley   Empress of Drama

Hayley Empress of Drama Report 19 Nov 2012 22:24

Can cookoos really tell the time? Good evening Mr Poshpaws Allan <3

Rose what tune is that too as I really need to sing it,,,

Suzanne no not you the arrow head of course head of operations :-D :-D :-D :-D


Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 22:14

I do, Sue, and it would be a male name :-D


supercrutch Report 19 Nov 2012 22:10


What do you call a person who has the ability to be both a troll and a wum?

NB I do not have the answer..lolol


Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 22:04

In a like manner, RR here is a portion of something I wrote a coiuple of years ago, and which I really must finish. It's long and may not work taken out of context, but wh knows

"There, exposed to view, were two pamphlets, one titled “Workers Union Membership” and the other “Traders, Retailers and On Line Licences”
Both bore the same armorial markings and the same inscription.
The Coat of Arms was two lions rampant and one lion dormant and the inscription read ‘Illegitimum Carborundum Est’
“What does it mean!” exclaimed Dr Watson.
“Elementary, my dear sir,” said Holmes. “We have two documents ostensibly at odds with each other, one being a membership list of an illicit Union and the other, no doubt, a list of members of a more capitalist leaning; however, the coat of arms and the inscription mean that both are merely two sides of the one coin”
“No,” said the good doctor, “I meant the inscription”
Miss O’Hara, feeling that Holmes had had too much of the limelight, hurriedly said “It’s a corruption of a Dog Latin phrase, Dr. The original is Illegtitimum Non Carborundum Est which roughly translates as ‘don’t let the b*st*rds grind you down.’ Therefore with the word missing this actually becomes an exhortation to grind the b*st*rds down

Clever! Very clever,” interjected the Inspector, who was also feeling a bit left out. “But what are these lists for?”

“Oh that’s an easy one, Inspector” said Holmes, “Let me explain. But for convenience I’ll just use the initials of the organisations and refer to them as WUMs and TROLLs”

They all held their respective breaths, which made Dr Watson feel guilty about having eaten baked beans for lunch.

When the atmosphere cleared and they were able to resume normal air intake, Holmes continued with his explanation.

“The inscription gives the game away. These two organisations are there for the sole purpose of wearing people down, but they do it in different ways.
The WUMs, for example, respond so that they are reactive whereas the TROLLs initiate, and are therefore proactive”

The group, who had no idea what Holmes was on about, tried to look intelligent but only gave any interested onlooker the impression that the total of their collective IQ’s was still somewhat below that of a gnat.

Holmes sighed. “Alright let me try to explain further. Person A may write a letter and post it to ‘The Times’ newspaper saying that he heard the first cuckoo of Spring whilst walking on the Common. Person B, a WUM, immediately posts a letter saying that person A could not have heard the first cuckoo as cuckoos did not inhabit the Common. Also, how did person A know that he was the first? Others may have heard a cuckoo but had better things to do than post about it.

This brings a response from person C who criticises Person B and defends person A. Person B then responds to person C along the lines ‘you must be as daft as he is and besides can’t person A defend themselves?’ this will elicit even more responses in support of A and C, the first half dozen or so of which receive a less than flattering response from B who then ceases to post. However it may take another thirty more postings before people realise that B is no longer on the scene.

A TROLL on the other hand, writes the first letter containing something contentious such as ‘all cuckoos should be exterminated’, and then posts it. This is then responded to by A to Z saying that the originator is obviously prejudiced against birds in general, and cuckoos in particular. The TROLL sends a few more posts saying that he is entitled to his opinion and then, like the WUM, ceases posting.”

“That’s horrible!” said Watson “That sort of thing could destroy the economy of Switzerland!”

Five pairs of eyes were turned on him

“Well,” he continued, “If all the cuckoos were exterminated, the Swiss wouldn’t be able to make their clocks. The people who hunt for cuckoos of just the right size would be out of work, as would the people who teach the cuckoos how to tell the time”

Not for the first time, Holmes wished that he had taken up a more sedate profession like bare-back tiger riding or polar bear washing."

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 19 Nov 2012 21:55

:-D Sue & Wend... but damn I shall be humming that bloomin' tune all night now :-| and I'd only just managed to get 'the Puppy Song' out of it ( out of my mind that is.... LOL well yes quite possibly!) :-(



Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 21:52

lol Ann

My apologies George, I didn't see your post.

You can eat them either way, it just depends on the weather. The soup is great in winter, otherwise just steep in marinade for two hours and BBQ ,em

Incidentally, I have mentioned this on aprevious thread of Suzanne'sbut Ozzies must be one of the few nationalities that consume the two national creatures shown on the Coat-of-arms, the Kangaroo and the Emu..although the crest shoul perhaps be renamed the coat of legs :-D


Wend Report 19 Nov 2012 21:52

LOL Rose :-D

An 'old timer', who's 'seen' it all ;-)


supercrutch Report 19 Nov 2012 21:51

*untapes mouth*

I love you Rose :-D :-D :-D :-D

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 19 Nov 2012 21:47

Revision of that well known country song

"Downtown tonight, I saw an old troll someone who
I use to be wound up by long before I met you
I caught a spark from his eyes of forgotten desire
With a word or a gesture, I could have rekindled that fire

Old flamers can't hold a candle to you
No one, can wind me up quite like you do
Flickering embers of love I've known one or two
Old flamers can't hold a candle to you

Sometimes at night, I think of old members I've known
I remember how knowing them helped me not feel so alone
(Feel so alone)
Then I feel you beside me and even their memories are gone
Like drunks in the night lost in the hangover of dawn

Old flamers can't hold a candle to you
No one, can wind me up quite like you do
Bickering members on here I've known one or two

Old flamers can't hold a candle to you

Old flamers can't hold a candle to you"

:-D with apologies to Dolly Parton et al


AnnCardiff Report 19 Nov 2012 21:43

so modest as ever Allan ;-) ;-) ;-)


Allan Report 19 Nov 2012 21:41

~~~ to Hayley and Joy,

Mersey it will be a fantastic speech. The Bard will turn in his grave with frustration that he never composed such beauty from the English Language.

Mind you, I have been practising for about 50 years lol :-D :-D


AnnCardiff Report 19 Nov 2012 21:41

I also want Sue to take the tape off her gob!!!!


Suzanne Report 19 Nov 2012 21:41

which sue hayley??? not me :-0

love you Allan(not in that way though ,far to old for me :-0)

please dont talk about roasted koala bear because they sound lovely yummy with a nice gravy and some veg.,

my thread was asking "where all my old friends where" well im glad to say,most of them have posted on this thread and mailed me, lovely :-D :-D :-D