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All those years I was told I was pandoring to him

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Dawnieher3headaches Report 29 Nov 2012 16:23

well just been proved I wasnt. All the time Laddo struggled at school and was just left as he wasnt 'naughty' finally after years of saying there was something wrong got his diagnosis of autism. He also had light sensitive eyes and heightened senses. I always made him wear a cap outside (lost count of number I bought) as he couldnt see in bright light and know so many people thought I was just pandoring to him and he had me wound round his little finger. He wasnt allowed to wear them in school and hated lights and always struggled with his reading and writing.

In the 3 months he has been at college he has had a few assessments to make sure he gets the right help and they picked up last week that he struggled with the lights etc and did tests on him for Irlens syndrome and hey presto he has it.
Now has special overlays which make the text look as we see it instead of moving away from him, he writes on special coloured paper, has to have handouts printed on his coloured paper (all sufferers need different coloured overlays and different coloured paper to write on) and hey presto he is allowed to wear a peaked cap to stop the flourescent lights affecting him.

Saw a piece of text today as he sees it with out the filters and now know why he had trouble reading and learning,

Makes me sad that he spent all that time at school struggling and something as simple as a plastic sheet over the text could of made all the difference.
Now all I have to do is get him into the habit of using his overlays now that could be easier said than done lol

d x


JustJohn Report 29 Nov 2012 16:30

Mothers know strengths and weaknesses of their children. Siblings do get jealous and think you are pandering. Other mothers can be very bitchy.

But you know in your heart of hearts what is best for each child. And he is very lucky to have you.

No reason why he cannot be a very high achiever one day. And, though I doubt you will accept or even get any of the credit, it will mostly be due to your love, support and understanding. :-) :-)


Sharron Report 29 Nov 2012 17:00

Oh Dawn,how exciting.

He is going to experience the joy of learning which has been denied him until now and the pleasure of reading.


AnninGlos Report 29 Nov 2012 17:01

Sad that there is no awareness of the problem. And our grandson's dysphasia (I think) was discovered at 6 form college.


Dawnieher3headaches Report 29 Nov 2012 17:03

Ann amazing how they can go through all of school with problems but never diagnosed isnt it wonder why its so different at colleges maybe they have more funds to look into these things


Maryanna Report 29 Nov 2012 17:22

What a shame it has taken so long. I was SNA to a child with his problem s few years back. The coloured filters and paper made life so much easier for him, especially yellow and pink.
All the best wishes to him for the future. M


Dawnieher3headaches Report 29 Nov 2012 17:44

Naths filters are grey and aqua and he has blue paper, pity it doesnt help his aggresion hes just come in and its like ww3 here lol


welshbird201 Report 29 Nov 2012 17:49

Hi Dawn, so pleased things are starting to work out.
My Mum had a similar thing with my sister. My sister is now 26 and has only just been diagnosed with Aspergers. She too suffered through school. My Mum was told she was pandering too her, and it was her (my Mum) fault she was acting as she was. Also unhelpful teachers, bitchy parents, and awful bullying.
My sister is a lot happier now. Thank goodness.
Good luck to you and your family.

kind regards
Welshbird x


Susan-nz Report 29 Nov 2012 19:00

Hi Dawnie,

What a relief for your son, all power to him now. I hazard a guess the anger is frustration?.

My son had learning difficulties at school but didn't get the help he should have until well into his later years at High School. I still beat myself up about it.

But, he is now a fine, happy young man, works and contributes to his community willingly. I am very proud of him.

Good luck to your son with his current education and for a wonderful future.


Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 29 Nov 2012 19:32

I'm really pleased for Laddo that he at last is getting the right help that he needs.
Mums often realise what others don't notice.
I'm surprised that his school didn't try coloured over-lays before, as it is such a simple but effective help.
I think you may know that my grandson has worn glasses with coloured lens for several years. His are purple, but testing finds an optimum colour for each person and they have made a world of difference to J.
I'm sure that once Laddo realises how much easier reading is through colour sheets, he will soon want to use them for himself.

Feel free to PM me if you think I can help further.
There have been a few discussions on GR on this subject over the years. Advance search on General board using the world Irlen... will find other threads.



Cynthia Report 29 Nov 2012 22:03

Excellent news Dawnie :-D

My daughter was 32 before she received her diagnosis. Really hope you all get the support you need.

I remembered seeing this list and thought how true it is. :-D

10 things NOT to say to a parent of a child with Autism.

1. He/she doesn’t look autistic.

2. He/she will grow out of it.

3. Tell him/her they’ll be sent to their bedroom if they don’t stop doing that. You shouldn’t tolerate such behaviour!

4. He/she will eat when they're hungry.

5. I saw a program on the telly about autism and they said….

6. Special children are only given by God to special parents.

7. You poor’s such a shame.

8. Have you tried…….

a) a dog

b) a horse

c) swimming with dolphins

d) *insert your own word* diet

e) *insert your own word* therapy/program

f) homeopathy

g) anything else reported by the Daily Mail

9. Here’s a birthday invite to my child’s party for your (typically developing) son/daughter. *Then the silence as you walk away without mentioning an invite for the ‘disabled child’.*

10. I’ll bet he/she has a special talent. You know like in ‘Rain Man’.

I'm sure many of us could add more !

Take care. Cx.


JustJohn Report 29 Nov 2012 22:23

11. Having an aunt who has all the time in the world for her normally developing niece and her "disabled" nephew is completely shunned. (Both now graduates and always worked since getting their B.Sc (Hons) degrees) :-D :-D :-D

Time can be a great leveller. Patience and love of parents (mother particularly) makes all the difference.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 30 Nov 2012 07:16

Dawnie, good news for Nath and a pat on the back for you for never giving up on him and always fighting his corner. I do hope these new measures help him fulfill his promise. I would imagine the aggression is down to the frustration he has when he struggles to understand something, it's dreadful that these things aren't recognised sooner.