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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Wendy Report 20 Dec 2012 12:36

Before the madness and chaos starts,may i wish everyone an enjoyable Christmas,dont forget to make some time for yourselves.

best wishes wendy(lincs)


Sharon Report 20 Dec 2012 13:02

may i also wishes everyone a merry christmas and happy new year
best wishes wendy in lincs to you and your family from sharon in lincs


Jeniwren Report 20 Dec 2012 13:07

Wendy and Sharron, and anyone else who adds to this thread later.
Wishing you and your families a

Jean xx


Cooper Report 20 Dec 2012 14:10

Merry Christmas Wendy Sharon and Jean and all at GR

Have fun, keep warm and safe and I look foward "talking" to you all in the new year

Teresa xxx


Iris Report 20 Dec 2012 19:08

merry christmas to all the friends i have made on here.. :-D :-D


GinN Report 20 Dec 2012 19:17

To all the people I've met in the last couple of months, thankyou for your friendship and entertainment.
Have a wonderful Christmas, everybody.

Lynda XXX :-D


Dermot Report 20 Dec 2012 19:26

Day One

Dear Nuala,
Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We're getting the hang of feeding the partridge now, although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they're good friends now and we're keeping the pear-tree indoors in a bucket.

Thank you again.
Yours affectionately,
Gobnait O'L£nasa

Day Two

Dear Nuala,
I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you so soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind.

At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible row the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet but the birds are okay again and the stitches are due to some out in a week or two. The vet's bill was £8 but the mother is over her annoyance now and the doves and the partridge are watching the telly from the pear-tree as I write.
Yours ever,

Day Three

Dear Nuala,
We must be foremost in your thoughts. I had only posted my last letter when the three French hens arrived.

There was another sort-out between the hens and the doves, who sided with the partridge, and the vet had to be sent for again. The mother was raging because the bill was £16 this time but she has almost cooled down. However, the fact that the birds' droppings keep falling down on her hair whilen she's watching the telly, doesn't help matters.

Thanking you for your kindness.
I remain,
Your Gobnait

Day Four

Dear Nuala,
You mustn't have received my previous letter when you were sending us the four calling birds. There was pandemonium in the pear-tree again last night and the vet's bill was £32.

The mother is on sedation as I write. I know you meant no harm and remain your close friend.

Day Five

Your generosity knows no bounds. Five gold rings!

When the parcel arrived I was scared stiff that it might be more birds, because the smell in the living-room is atrocious.

However, I don't want to seem ungrateful for the beautiful rings.
Your affectionate friend,

Day Six

What are you trying to do to us?

It isn't that we don't appreciate your generosity but the six geese have not alone nearly murdered the calling birds but they laid their eggs on top of the vet's head from the pear-tree and his bill was £68 in cash!

My mother is munching 60 grains of Valium a day and talking to herself in a most alarming way. You must keep your feelings for me in check.

Day Seven

We are not amused by your little joke.

Seven swans-a-swimming is a most romantic idea but not in the bath of a private house. We cannot use the bathroom now because they've gone completely savage and rush the door every time we try to enter. If things go on this way, the mother and I will smell as bad as the living-room carpet.

Please lay off. It is not fair.

Day Eight

Who the hell do you think gave you the right to send eight hefty maids-a-milking here, to eat us out of house and home? Their cattle are all over the front lawn and have trampled the hell out of the mother's rose-beds.

The swans invaded the living-room in a sneak attack and the ensuing battle between them and the calling birds, turtle doves, French hens and partridge make the Battle of the Somme seem like Wanderly Wagon. The mother is on a bottle of whiskey a day, as well as the sixty grains of Valium.

I'm very annoyed with you.

Day Nine

Listen you louser!

There's enough pandemonium in this place night and day without nine drummers drumming, while the eight flaming maids-a-milking are beating my poor, old alcoholic mother out of her own kitchen and gobbling everything in sight.

I'm warning you, you're making an enemy of me.

Day Ten

Listen manure-face!

I hope you'll be haunted by the strains of ten pipers piping which you sent to torment us last night. They were aided in their evil work by those maniac drummers and it wasn't a pleasant sight to look out the window and see eight hefty maids-a-milking pogo-ing around with the ensuing punk-rock uproar.

My mother has just finished her third bottle of whiskey, on top of a hundred and twenty four grains of Valium. You'll get yours !
Gobnait O'L£nasa

Day Eleven

You have scandalised my mother, you dirty Jezebel.

It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but they've now been joined by your friends ~ the eleven Lords-a-leaping and the antics of the whole lot of them would leave the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like "Watch with mother".

I'll get you yet, you ould bag !

Day Twelve

Listen slurry head.

You have ruined our lives. The twelve maidens dancing turned up last night and beat the living daylights out of the eight maids-a-milking, `cos they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. Meanwhile, the swans got out of the living-room, where they'd been hiding since the big battle, and savaged hell out of the Lords and all the Maids.

There were eight ambulances here last night, and the local Civil Defence as well. The mother is in a home for the bewildered and I'm sitting here, up to my neck in birds' droppings, empty whiskey and Valium bottles, birds' blood and feathers, while the flaming cows eat the leaves off the pear-tree.

I'm a broken man.
Gobnait O'L£nasa


MotownGal Report 20 Dec 2012 20:26

Thank you Dermot to putting that lovely song down in print. I have heard this spoken by Father Jack out of Father Ted. Very funny indeed.

Back to business.

May I wish all on here a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Wend, I shall see you in April.

Christmas kisses under the mistletoe to you all.



ShelleyRose Report 20 Dec 2012 21:09

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd dda.
( Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year)

ShelleyRose x :-)


Merlin Report 20 Dec 2012 21:32

Everyone have a Nice time over Christmas and the New Year. **M**, :-D

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 21 Dec 2012 06:26

Merry Christmas to you all, stay safe, warm and dry if possible and get ready for a great year in 2013



AnnCardiff Report 23 Dec 2012 14:19

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now

love to all, Ann XXX