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The old ones are the best :o) .....

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 11 Jan 2013 22:29

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Ttook her to the fair last night -
It took me 5 hours to get her off the big wheel.

Boom boom .....

I woke up this morning at 8, and knew something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife had left me a message to say she'd run off with the milkman.
I panicked; I didnt know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonalds served breakfast till 11 o'clock.

(ducks !!!!) :-D

Wend

Wend Report 11 Jan 2013 22:34

Hard to make me laff at the mo, Mr. Daff, but you just did it, ta :-D :-D :-D

Sylvia

Sylvia Report 11 Jan 2013 22:41

We all just had a good laugh Mr.Daff
Hope your ok Wend x

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 11 Jan 2013 22:43

<3 :-D

Wend

Wend Report 11 Jan 2013 22:45

<3 :-D ~~~~ Sylvia and Mr. Daff.

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 11 Jan 2013 23:18

?What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

?If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

:-D :-D

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 11 Jan 2013 23:41

Doh, Mr M !!! LOL.

I've a number of risque jokes, but not sure this is the 'forum' for them !!!! :-S :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 11 Jan 2013 23:59

Try one Mr D..............see how far you can go.... ;-)

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 12 Jan 2013 00:03

Well here goes..................................

What did the perverted frog say?

"Rubbit...Rubbitt"

;-) :-D :-S

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 12 Jan 2013 00:07

Mr M ..... I'm gonna blame you !! :-D :-D

The wife's back on the warpath again,
Last night she was up for making a "home movie"!
All I did was suggest that we should hold auditions for her part.

MrDaff

MrDaff Report 12 Jan 2013 00:11

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'

'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'

Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm coming!'

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."

The nun had to leave the room.

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 12 Jan 2013 00:37

:-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 12 Jan 2013 11:51

Went to the zoo, it was rubbish. Only had one animal, a dog.

It was a shih tzu.


:-D :-D

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 12 Jan 2013 12:44

MrM :-D :-D

Friend is Italian and has dog with a blue tongue. When I leave I pat his dog and say "Ciao, Chow Chow" ;-)

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 12 Jan 2013 12:44

:-D :-D :-D Mr Daff!!!!! Difficult to laugh with toothache but I managed!!