General Chat

I have asked Genes and I think somebody else has as well but it doesn't look like it will be resurrected.

Having read the article

(for those who may need it and have not read it,I have found that the best way to get it is to type in

everything she does is deniable )

I have found the strength to tell others about what happened to me, not in a public way but by being open in conversation.

This is,I hope, making the problem better recognized,if only in a small way, but it is very emotionally draining all the same.

I wondered if anybody else had managed to do the same thing because I had a meeting with somebody yesterday and she was asking me for details when we had a cup of tea afterwards.

Today I feel like I was wrung out yesterday but am hopeful that she may pass on a little more understanding to others.

It was only when reading this thread that I realised it was my mother's fault and not mine as I had always been brought up to think so, even when I became a g.mother.

It was so useful to so many people. Perhaps those who contributed to it could do so again. I am willing to dsy what Mummy Darling was really like.

Just 10 days ago a friend who I had lost touch over 50 years ago (she did not write letters) range me from USA and in conversation said what a nice woman my mother was. I briefly told her otherwise. Even more strange a friend I was speaking to over Christmas (known since we were 11 and she used to stay with us (said what a nice, kind lady my mother was) I ignored it.

Chris, everyone always says how kind my mother was, how friendly and welcoming etc etc No one came to our house without being offered a cuppa and cake etc - she would cater for the workmen cutting the hedges etc Some of my friends from my younger days who didn't bother to stay in touch with me despite me supporting them when they married and had kids etc, still visited my mother and went to her funeral. I often wondered what she told them when they visited.....

They never knew how she liked to play one sibling against the other, I didn't till much later when it suddenly dawned on me. They never knew we weren't allowed to drink much milk as children ( don't use all the milk, we don't want to run out) Fgs milk wasn't that expensive, always enough for her cuppas and always enough money to buy sugar and stuff to make lots of cakes. I was the one kept skivvying indoors when my younger brothers were always allowed out to play, cos it's the girl's job to help Mother. What did my brothers do to help father or mother? So many things come to mind now, the way I always had to thank her at night when she said goodnight, it was Thank you for all you have done for me Mum, what about thank you for washing up, looking after your brothers while I go shopping, thank you for cooking Saturday lunch while I am out shopping even tho I was only about 12. I can fully empathise Chris.


Lizx

The guinea pigs we had from the postman, I had from the postman. He offered themandthey were accepted on my behalf so they were my responsibility as was so much else. Anyway,they had bread and milk every night which my dad took out to them so I had to have watered down Ideal on my cereal and drain it from my spoon in case I wanted another bowl because we needed the fresh milkfor the guinea pigs and "I can't afford".

"A bit of gratitude wouldn't come amiss." "All I want is a bit of gratitude." "You don't look after what's bought for you,you don't appreciate what's done for you."