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Being called a partner

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


~Lynda~ Report 16 Feb 2013 15:09

Some lovely stories on here :-D

Anne, I am the same as you, soon as I walk in the door the heavy jewellery comes off. I used to wear more jewellery than I do now, but one thing I hate going out without wearing is earrings, in fact if I went out without them, I'd consider buying a cheap pair to wear, somehow feel undressed without them, wonder why that is?

*$parkling $andie*

*$parkling $andie* Report 16 Feb 2013 14:48

My Sis and Bil had matching wedding rings ,more often than not Bil's was on the window sill in the bathroom!
They've moved many times, last big move was from SA to US, Bil moved there for a short while before my sis to see if he like the job and area etc.
When sis moved there she sent me photos of new house and some of my cousin visiting them.
Bil wore his wedding ring when he went out in company, but I noticed he wasn't wearing it on the photo with my cousin, so jokingly said to sis ' Where is Bri's wedding ring ?..on the windowsill again ?!!
It so happened he thought he'd lost it in all his moves, and he was just having one made from a copy of my sister's. She thought I was I physic ! No ! just observant !
The new ring was an almost perfect match,cos a few days having it from the jewellers he found his original one !! Now he has 2 to leave on the bathroom window sill !!!


Merlin Report 16 Feb 2013 14:04

Paula+ re your Question, the answer is "Happy" :-D :-D :-D


Cynthia Report 16 Feb 2013 13:22

Companion is nice but reminds me of the Victorian lady's paid companion :-D

I'm definitely a Mrs and my husband's wife - this year we celebrate 45 years of marriage. ( I was a child bride of course )

I rather like Wiki's definition of the word : A wife is a female lifetime partner in a continuing marital relationship.

The symbolism of the wedding ring is quite ancient and the none ending circle depicts eternity - love that never ends sort of thing.

I found this:

John Ruskin (the art critic 1819-1900) talks to young women of the etymology of the name ‘wife’—

”What do you think the beautiful word ‘wife’ comes from?” he asks. “It means ‘weaver.’ You must either be house-wives or house-moths; remember that.

Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there.

Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love.

And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.

- John Ruskin


ChrisofWessex Report 16 Feb 2013 12:59

Companion sounds nice.


+++DetEcTive+++ Report 16 Feb 2013 10:39

To be perfectly honest, I can’t recall when either introduced each other as Husband or Wife. It tends to be that one of us announces our own name with a handshake then indicates the other as ‘And this is (first name)’ if they don’t say it themselves. Our body language automatically gives the impression that we are a couple.

I suppose that in a formal situation I might say ‘My Husband’ to refer to him if he is not present and I suspect he calls me ‘My Wife’ in the same situation.

We exchanged rings on our marriage – he lost his in a snowball fight about 4 years later! The insurance pay out went towards loft insulation. I wear mine during the day along with a half eternity ring we bought when our 1st was due, but take them off at night as my fingers tend to swell.

Although I inherited some lovely rings with stones from my mum, they only get worn on ‘dressing up days’. I’ve more emotional attachment to them than my parents gold bands. One of these days I’ll sell them for gold scrap value.


GlasgowLass Report 16 Feb 2013 10:30

My OH and I also got matching wedding rings, but even on day 2 of our honeymoon, I realised that I could not wear mine. The style meant that it cut into my little finger next to it causing a deep painful welt..and I still have the scar!

I was never able to wear it, and never got round to having it re modelled.
For our 20th Anniversary, my unworn ring was still in it's box and he offered to buy me a new one.
OH was still wearing his, but it had worn down considerably.
While he doing some garden work and I spotted his ring lying in the kitchen, so I pinched it.
Without telling him, I took both of our original wedding rings to a jeweller who melted them down together, and made them into one brand new ring
I have new ring and he has.....both of the old ones remodelled into one!


Sharron Report 16 Feb 2013 10:11

I always introduce OH by his name and hope he does the same for me.

For reasons best known to himself he likes to wear a ring so I bought him a silver one when the one he brought back from Africa,made of copper,tin and oil drum by the San, wore through.

I did wear a haematite one from the same trip but was not really veryupset when it shattered.Rings get in my way.


David Report 16 Feb 2013 09:53

That's lovely Shirley :)

My Mother died in ICU.The ward sister aked me if I wanted her wedding ring.
I replied NO,she never took it off when she was alive,leave it.

My wife and I have our wedding rings engraved on the inside.Same words,mine is a reversal of hers.

Paula+ where I live many refer to my wife as your lass.
I refer to her as Ellen or my better half.


~Lynda~ Report 16 Feb 2013 09:29

No worries Sandie, didn't see your post as being disrespectful at all :-D

Shirley that's really lovely, glad hubby is doing well, there's lots of hep out there, glad you're finding it :-)

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 16 Feb 2013 08:44

We went to the memory clinic yesterday for OH,s 3 month review on being on the new meds. He was given a test by the clinical nurse in that she asked him his date of birth what day of the week was it etc, She asked him who is this lady sitting next too you and he said she is my best friend. The nurse was going to mark him down as not giving the right answer when I pointed out to her we have always said we are each other,s best friend . She then asked him is she your daughter? No he said she is my wife!! So it does depend how you ask questions sometimes :-)

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 16 Feb 2013 03:22

Even tho I don't wear any rings now, and haven't for some time, I get narked when people think my partner is my husband. I have never married any of my long term partners but one did buy me a gold wedding band from a second hand shop which I wore on my wedding finger. Another made me a ring with a ruby in that I wore on my engagement finger altho we weren't engaged, but with this partner he hasn't bought me a ring and I don't want him to (oh he did buy me a silver ring with a pink cubic zirconia when we went to Kefalonia once but that was more like costume jewellery) It does bug me tho if we are somewhere and someone says Oh your husband is over there or whatever. I just say Thanks but we aren't married and leave it at that.
I have been Ms since I was 30, decided as I was single and buying my first house, I would have all the paperwork with Ms on. Have continued it ever since and still hate it if I get letters to Mrs or Miss.
As to the male title, maybe men should stay Master until they marry lol

I have my Mum's wedding rings, the first one was 22 ct and got too tight so she had a 9 ct one and an eternity ring but I don't like them as much as the 22 ct one, the gold looks 'cold' on the newer ones. I do wear them sometimes on my right hand.


*$parkling $andie*

*$parkling $andie* Report 16 Feb 2013 00:10

I didn't mean to be disrespectful about your ring not being worn Lynda.

I just feel that looking at them isn't enough, for me !

I have my nan's Rose gold ring on now ,think it was called a 'Keeper' I always loved it when she wore it, it's got rosebuds( in gold) entwined and I always called it nan's Rosey ring.
Dad inherited all her worldly goods when she died and gave me the beautiful ring. I don't remember her wearing a wedding ring and we didn't know what happened to it, if she had one. My Grandfather died before I was born
I feel their presence when I wear any of the rings mentioned and it's heart-warming.
More light hearted ..My dau won't be able to wear mine,her grandmother's or gt mother's rings,cos I'm a size J or K ,she's prob an N,not sure but none of my rings go near her little finger ! She could probably wear my dad's :-)



Annx Report 15 Feb 2013 23:54

Before OH and I were married, he would always introduce me as his good lady, which I liked and I would say he was my other half. He still often introduces me as his good lady now!! lol. Partner doesn't particularly bother me, after all we are life partners, but what would make me see red would be being called 'THE wife' like some kind of possession. I'm not keen on Missus either.......

As to the Ms, Mrs options, after I was divorced from first OH, it was irritating at times as sometimes letters would come addressed Ms and other times Mrs. It felt like my status was being made public in a way that a man's wouldn't be!

As for rings, mine are off as soon as I get home and so is OH's. I like mine too much to ruin them with gardening and housework. We both like to wear them when we go out, seperately or together, but I can't sit in a cinema with mine on as I can't stop fiddling with it!!


Paula+ Report 15 Feb 2013 23:19

This has set me thinking, what other name could one use if not married?


GlasgowLass Report 15 Feb 2013 23:16

I take my rings off as soon as I enter my front door at the end of a working day.
I hook both wedding and engagement ring to my watch and set them down.
I spend at least 10 mins of everymorning looking for them, because I hate to leave the house without .... my watch!

Oddly, I prefer wife to partner.


Paula+ Report 15 Feb 2013 23:05

I wear a ring my late husband brought for me, and an engagment rings from my OH on the same finger. All are very special to me.


~Lynda~ Report 15 Feb 2013 22:23

My wedding ring is white gold too Sandie, it isn't hidden away, I often see it when I put on other jewellery :-D
I suppose because I haven't worn it for so long, I don't miss wearing it. I don't see it as a token of our love, I see that more as still being together and being happy. I have my Mums rings and two Grandparents rings that I often wear, and because they are no longer here, when I wear them I feel there presence.

*$parkling $andie*

*$parkling $andie* Report 15 Feb 2013 22:10

Rings are a different issue , tho visually a dead give away when you take one off when you worn it for nearly 40 yrs, that you've been married.
Why have such an intricate and patterned ring 'made by a friend' to keep hidden away ( yes.... I get the sizing bit )
Isn't it supposed to be a token of your love to each other? Why not show the world what it meant. No disrespect but it was a 'token of love'.
I have 2 wedding rings, my original one is a White gold wide plain band,sometimes I can't wear it because it will irritate my skin( being wide I probably don't dry the skin underneath properly) So hubby bought me a 2 coloured Welsh gold one for our Anniversary some yrs ago.
Depend how I feel as to which I wear,sometimes I just wear my engagement ring, but I feel 'lost and naked ' without wearing one of them !

My mother wore her engagement ring for 51 yrs,wedding ring for 50.
We had to have the engagement ring rebuilt for her , where it had worn thin at the back cos she never took them off.
She wanted my sis and I to have them when she died ,with dad's consent .
I've the engagement ring sis has her wedding ring.
I have dad's wedding ring( was a signate ring type) he wore for years until it split at the back ,when mum died we were going thro things and I found it in a box ,he said' you can have it' ( I was into making jewellery at the time).
I had it rebuilt for him, he was so pleased and touched he had tears in his eyes, and he wore it for the next 13 yrs until he died. He said you must keep it when I go .
I have it ( he wrapped wool around the back of it cos he was loosing weight and didn't want it to slip off his finger) whatever was on the front of the ring has worn away with age, but he wore it with love....and it is treasured ( and sometimes worn ..with the wool still on it ) with love ;-)

Hubby only takes his Wedding ring off when I am doing a jewellery clean,and ask him for it to be included to be buffed up and polished.:)


LadyScozz Report 15 Feb 2013 22:02

I didn't want to get married, because my parents put me off!! Not fighting etc, but loooooooong silences, they finally divorced after 30+ years of marriage.

I eventually got married at the ripe old age :-D of 36.

He's my husband and my life partner <3

Definitely my "other half" ~ I didn't know what was missing until I met him <3

If I hear "partner" I assume the couple isn't "married", but that's none of my business :-)