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Being called a partner

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Annx

Annx Report 15 Feb 2013 23:54

Before OH and I were married, he would always introduce me as his good lady, which I liked and I would say he was my other half. He still often introduces me as his good lady now!! lol. Partner doesn't particularly bother me, after all we are life partners, but what would make me see red would be being called 'THE wife' like some kind of possession. I'm not keen on Missus either.......

As to the Ms, Mrs options, after I was divorced from first OH, it was irritating at times as sometimes letters would come addressed Ms and other times Mrs. It felt like my status was being made public in a way that a man's wouldn't be!

As for rings, mine are off as soon as I get home and so is OH's. I like mine too much to ruin them with gardening and housework. We both like to wear them when we go out, seperately or together, but I can't sit in a cinema with mine on as I can't stop fiddling with it!!

*$parkling $andie*

*$parkling $andie* Report 16 Feb 2013 00:10

I didn't mean to be disrespectful about your ring not being worn Lynda.

I just feel that looking at them isn't enough, for me !

I have my nan's Rose gold ring on now ,think it was called a 'Keeper' I always loved it when she wore it, it's got rosebuds( in gold) entwined and I always called it nan's Rosey ring.
Dad inherited all her worldly goods when she died and gave me the beautiful ring. I don't remember her wearing a wedding ring and we didn't know what happened to it, if she had one. My Grandfather died before I was born
I feel their presence when I wear any of the rings mentioned and it's heart-warming.
More light hearted ..My dau won't be able to wear mine,her grandmother's or gt mother's rings,cos I'm a size J or K ,she's prob an N,not sure but none of my rings go near her little finger ! She could probably wear my dad's :-)

Sandie.x

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 16 Feb 2013 03:22

Even tho I don't wear any rings now, and haven't for some time, I get narked when people think my partner is my husband. I have never married any of my long term partners but one did buy me a gold wedding band from a second hand shop which I wore on my wedding finger. Another made me a ring with a ruby in that I wore on my engagement finger altho we weren't engaged, but with this partner he hasn't bought me a ring and I don't want him to (oh he did buy me a silver ring with a pink cubic zirconia when we went to Kefalonia once but that was more like costume jewellery) It does bug me tho if we are somewhere and someone says Oh your husband is over there or whatever. I just say Thanks but we aren't married and leave it at that.
I have been Ms since I was 30, decided as I was single and buying my first house, I would have all the paperwork with Ms on. Have continued it ever since and still hate it if I get letters to Mrs or Miss.
As to the male title, maybe men should stay Master until they marry lol

I have my Mum's wedding rings, the first one was 22 ct and got too tight so she had a 9 ct one and an eternity ring but I don't like them as much as the 22 ct one, the gold looks 'cold' on the newer ones. I do wear them sometimes on my right hand.

Lizx


Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 16 Feb 2013 08:44

We went to the memory clinic yesterday for OH,s 3 month review on being on the new meds. He was given a test by the clinical nurse in that she asked him his date of birth what day of the week was it etc, She asked him who is this lady sitting next too you and he said she is my best friend. The nurse was going to mark him down as not giving the right answer when I pointed out to her we have always said we are each other,s best friend . She then asked him is she your daughter? No he said she is my wife!! So it does depend how you ask questions sometimes :-)

~Lynda~

~Lynda~ Report 16 Feb 2013 09:29

No worries Sandie, didn't see your post as being disrespectful at all :-D

Shirley that's really lovely, glad hubby is doing well, there's lots of hep out there, glad you're finding it :-)

David

David Report 16 Feb 2013 09:53



That's lovely Shirley :)

My Mother died in ICU.The ward sister aked me if I wanted her wedding ring.
I replied NO,she never took it off when she was alive,leave it.

My wife and I have our wedding rings engraved on the inside.Same words,mine is a reversal of hers.

Paula+ where I live many refer to my wife as your lass.
I refer to her as Ellen or my better half.

Sharron

Sharron Report 16 Feb 2013 10:11

I always introduce OH by his name and hope he does the same for me.

For reasons best known to himself he likes to wear a ring so I bought him a silver one when the one he brought back from Africa,made of copper,tin and oil drum by the San, wore through.

I did wear a haematite one from the same trip but was not really veryupset when it shattered.Rings get in my way.

GlasgowLass

GlasgowLass Report 16 Feb 2013 10:30

My OH and I also got matching wedding rings, but even on day 2 of our honeymoon, I realised that I could not wear mine. The style meant that it cut into my little finger next to it causing a deep painful welt..and I still have the scar!

I was never able to wear it, and never got round to having it re modelled.
For our 20th Anniversary, my unworn ring was still in it's box and he offered to buy me a new one.
OH was still wearing his, but it had worn down considerably.
While he doing some garden work and I spotted his ring lying in the kitchen, so I pinched it.
Without telling him, I took both of our original wedding rings to a jeweller who melted them down together, and made them into one brand new ring
I have new ring and he has.....both of the old ones remodelled into one!

+++DetEcTive+++

+++DetEcTive+++ Report 16 Feb 2013 10:39

To be perfectly honest, I can’t recall when either introduced each other as Husband or Wife. It tends to be that one of us announces our own name with a handshake then indicates the other as ‘And this is (first name)’ if they don’t say it themselves. Our body language automatically gives the impression that we are a couple.

I suppose that in a formal situation I might say ‘My Husband’ to refer to him if he is not present and I suspect he calls me ‘My Wife’ in the same situation.

We exchanged rings on our marriage – he lost his in a snowball fight about 4 years later! The insurance pay out went towards loft insulation. I wear mine during the day along with a half eternity ring we bought when our 1st was due, but take them off at night as my fingers tend to swell.

Although I inherited some lovely rings with stones from my mum, they only get worn on ‘dressing up days’. I’ve more emotional attachment to them than my parents gold bands. One of these days I’ll sell them for gold scrap value.

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 16 Feb 2013 12:59

Companion sounds nice.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 16 Feb 2013 13:22

Companion is nice but reminds me of the Victorian lady's paid companion :-D


I'm definitely a Mrs and my husband's wife - this year we celebrate 45 years of marriage. ( I was a child bride of course )

I rather like Wiki's definition of the word : A wife is a female lifetime partner in a continuing marital relationship.


The symbolism of the wedding ring is quite ancient and the none ending circle depicts eternity - love that never ends sort of thing.



I found this:

John Ruskin (the art critic 1819-1900) talks to young women of the etymology of the name ‘wife’—

”What do you think the beautiful word ‘wife’ comes from?” he asks. “It means ‘weaver.’ You must either be house-wives or house-moths; remember that.

Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there.

Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love.

And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.

- John Ruskin


Merlin

Merlin Report 16 Feb 2013 14:04

Paula+ re your Question, the answer is "Happy" :-D :-D :-D

*$parkling $andie*

*$parkling $andie* Report 16 Feb 2013 14:48

My Sis and Bil had matching wedding rings ,more often than not Bil's was on the window sill in the bathroom!
They've moved many times, last big move was from SA to US, Bil moved there for a short while before my sis to see if he like the job and area etc.
When sis moved there she sent me photos of new house and some of my cousin visiting them.
Bil wore his wedding ring when he went out in company, but I noticed he wasn't wearing it on the photo with my cousin, so jokingly said to sis ' Where is Bri's wedding ring ?..on the windowsill again ?!!
It so happened he thought he'd lost it in all his moves, and he was just having one made from a copy of my sister's. She thought I was I physic ! No ! just observant !
The new ring was an almost perfect match,cos a few days having it from the jewellers he found his original one !! Now he has 2 to leave on the bathroom window sill !!!

~Lynda~

~Lynda~ Report 16 Feb 2013 15:09

Some lovely stories on here :-D

Anne, I am the same as you, soon as I walk in the door the heavy jewellery comes off. I used to wear more jewellery than I do now, but one thing I hate going out without wearing is earrings, in fact if I went out without them, I'd consider buying a cheap pair to wear, somehow feel undressed without them, wonder why that is?

Muffyxx

Muffyxx Report 16 Feb 2013 15:12

I refer to my husband as my OH on here ...but that' s just because I'm too lazy to type it in full lol.

Outside of the WWW i always refer to him as my husband...and to the best of my knowledge I'm his wife..or he uses my name....I'd shoot him if I heard him say *er indoors* etc lol.

Sheila

Sheila Report 16 Feb 2013 15:46

You are pronounced Husband and Wife at the end of the marriage ceremony which is how I like it to be.

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 17 Feb 2013 07:01

"Partner" is used so commonly here that it doesn't bother me ........

...... in introducing OH to someone at a party or reception, I usually say something like, "oh, here is xxxx, my husband, OR my better half" ............. and he does the same to me!

we've been married over 45 years ................. and there probably is body language that says that ........ except we operate somewhat independently at parties and "do's" ........ I talk to who I want to talk to, without moving very far, whereas he wanders all over the room, occasionally coming back to check that I am still alright.


But, as I say, it doesn't worry me if someone says "is that your partner?"


I do hate to be called Ms ..................... always have, ever since it became common here in the late 60s/early 70s.

It always seemed to me here in North America that it was the unmarried (never married) ladies who wanted to hide the fact that they were not married who used Ms ................. because they usually went to Mrs if they did marry!

You almost never found a married woman using Ms back in those feminist days!


so even though Ms was supposed to be the feminist term that did not change with marriage, and equivalent to Mr .................. it really wasn't!

It just became a third title for a woman .......

........ Miss for a young woman,

........ Mrs for a married woman, and

......... Ms for a single woman over about 25 ............. or for others to use if they were uncertain of her status!



sylvia

Hayley   Empress of Drama

Hayley Empress of Drama Report 17 Feb 2013 10:03

Life partner or partner sounds terribly PC to me, I am his life partner and he mine but I refer to him as my OH or husband, I don't mind Mrs ****** because I am Mrs **** not Ms. I feel naked without my wedding ring. I don't like him referring to me as she and her I think its rude and common he swears he doesnt but he does at times as I have heard him, my name is Hayley and I dont even like it be shortened I am not Hay or Hayles or Haze Its Hayley. Another thing is I dont like being called Ayley or Aerley just say it HAYLEY.. :-|

sorry Lynda went on abit there ..lololol :-D :-D

David

David Report 17 Feb 2013 10:11



Is Mrs an abbreviation of mistress?

~Lynda~

~Lynda~ Report 17 Feb 2013 10:18

There was me just thinking I was the only one who felt odd at being called a partner, and there's loads of us :-D

Not only that but I thought I was the only one who felt my wedding ring was too heavy, and have to take jewellery off as I walk through the door, and I'm not there's a few of us :-D

Now Hayley has mentioned names, and I can relate to that too, I must be more normal than I thought :-D