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Good manners.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Dermot

Dermot Report 18 Feb 2013 11:54

‘Good manners’ in the UK - when were they abolished? Thank you.

~~ Jules in Wiltshire~~

~~ Jules in Wiltshire~~ Report 18 Feb 2013 11:57

Along time ago!! I find it's the older generation that have less manners these days :-S

Jules x

Sharron

Sharron Report 18 Feb 2013 12:06

Thank you. Now there'sone you don't hear very often.

TheBlackKnight

TheBlackKnight Report 18 Feb 2013 12:08

The Internet
enough said :-D

terryj

terryj Report 18 Feb 2013 12:14

when kids started having kids

i shudder when i hear the way some young mothers talk to their kids
i can swear with the best of them but wouldn't dream of using that language in front of kids.
mine were always taught to say please and thank you and put rubbish in their pocket till they got home or to a bin

Sharron

Sharron Report 18 Feb 2013 12:36

You don't have to bother with please any more and thank you has been superceded by "There you go.", even in shops.

In the sam shops it is not obligatory to interrupt conversation whilst serving customers either.

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 18 Feb 2013 12:43

one reason is when schools were told they couldn't discipline children as in the past - I was disciplined in school, even had the cane - never did me any harm - and we did what we were told in school and didn't answer back

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 18 Feb 2013 12:55

I find most people are really polite most of the time. There are a few exceptions but mostly people are polite, I think.

Most kids are polite but you notice the few who aren't because they are louder than the others.

Most old people are polite but there are some who think being old gives them the right to go to the front of any queue or pass personal remarks at passers by.

Age is no guarantee of good manners.

Gwynne

GeordiePride

GeordiePride Report 18 Feb 2013 13:00

I was always brought up to respect your elders and I would get a clip around the ears if I misbehaved. I am shocked at the manners and swearing of young people. God knows what my parents would make of it today if they were still alive.

GP

PollyinBrum

PollyinBrum Report 18 Feb 2013 13:15

Dermot, It is one of my saddest observations. I can still hear my Mother saying good manners cost nothing. Whilst I still think they are most important I don’t just mean please and thank you.

Good manners begin with parents by starting to show good manners to their children and other people. Teaching them respect, for respect shows that you have good manners.

I dislike it when people interrupt or override another person when he or she is speaking.
When eating out some people do not to seem to have basic table manners. They allow their children to run amok and simply ignore their parental responsibility, regarding the supervision of their children.
When talking on mobile phones in a public space, they seem to be unaware that everything they say can be heard by anyone sitting within earshot. Some people are incapable of keeping their voice at "indoor voice" level, or lower. Generally, people with good manners don't talk about potentially embarrassing private issues in public. I have heard some very “enlightening” conversations sitting on the train.

Driving with good manners might seem outdated, actually a matter of safety but simply ignored by many people, of all ages.
Some people feel that being " well mannered" is "fake" or unauthentic. Instead, I believe that good manners are normal and healthy social conventions, that make interactions easier and more pleasant. Good manners doesn't mean that you can't joke , or have a sense of humour, don't confuse good manners with being a stuffed shirt and overly reserved, so to speak. That's just boring.

Oh dear you have got me started. I think I will go and make my lunch
:-D :-D

Vintagefinemaid

Vintagefinemaid Report 18 Feb 2013 13:34

Mobile phone users are amongst the most ill mannered people I have come across recently
They stand in the queue at the supermarket finishing a conversation while the shop assistant is 'shushed' when she asks for the money and told she is rude because she must have seen they were on the phone telling their friend what they have just bought!!!!!
They go in the baker's shop where a friend works, talking on their phones and pointing at the items they want and glaring at her when she picks up the wrong thing
We have managed to ban people smoking most places, maybe we should ban mobile phones

Budgie Rustler

Budgie Rustler Report 18 Feb 2013 13:40

“I'm making a list

I'm making a list of things I must say
For politeness,
And goodness and kindness and gentleness
Sweetness and rightness:
Hello
Pardon me
How are you?
Excuse me
Bless you
May I?
Thank you
Goodbye
If you know some that I've forgot,
Please stick them in your eye!”

Mayfield

Mayfield Report 18 Feb 2013 13:43

My School motto was,

Moribus facit homo, Manners maketh the man.

Just about the only thing the place ever taught me! ;-)

Mayfield

Brenda from Wales

Brenda from Wales Report 18 Feb 2013 13:47

I am of the same opinion as most on here.
Everything is so casual ,untidy,...respect seems to have gone out of the window.
Nothing to do with working class or poorer people.Pride in appearance and please and thankyou were all part of our upbringing...please may I leave the table...etc etc.standing up on a bus to let someone older sit down...inbuilt into us.a man would raise his hat to you in the street and no way wear a hat in the house.

Maybe Im old fashioned,but do find it has gone too far!

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 18 Feb 2013 13:50

Manners went the way of common sense, a good generation or even two ago!

My o.h. didn't teach his kids table manners or how to behave in public, they were noisy when we took them to the theatre to a panto (in the wrong places I might add) and put their feet on the seats in front etc etc They had never been taken to a theatre before. I have seen video of them out and about when young and they are unruly and inconsiderate of others, it's sad. The younger son is still the same, very selfish, luckily the older one has a wife now who has changed him a little and he is a bit better altho sadly he seems to be bringing his child up to be noisy when out (they don't go out to eat because she won't behave etc) and no please and thank you at home.

I get really riled when I see children being allowed to run riot on pavements with the parents deep in conversation on their phones or with friends, the child could run out into traffic (as sadly happened in our county last year) or run into elderly people. I saw one woman with a child who ran up to someone's dog and touched it without asking if ok and safe to do so, the dog owner pulled the dog away, and then the child went by a greengrocers and started picking up sticks of rhubarb and waving them about before throwing them down on the display box again. The mother totally ignored all behaviour. I did say something to o.h. as we passed her so that she heard me, I couldn't help it.

Lizx

wisechild

wisechild Report 18 Feb 2013 13:53

In Spain, people look at you as though you have lost your marbles if you say please or thank you.
If my husband wants something, he just says "give me" & this is quite normal although I often want to tell him he´s an ignorant pig. He isn´t. It´s just how things are done here.
I have come to terms with waiting for a conversation to end in shops/banks/etc. After all, they were talking before I went into the premises.
Even after living here for 7 years I still find what seems to me to be sheer ignorance hard to live with. :-| :-| :-|

Porkie_Pie

Porkie_Pie Report 18 Feb 2013 14:14

There have always been people with no manners but they where a minority back in the day,

It's my opinion that their are 3 things that have changed over the years that has led to the situation we have today,

Discipline, respect and Rights

I remember when my oldest came home from school and i pulled him up on something,

I said show some respect, only to be lectured by him on the subject, He was taught at school that respect was his right and a given, and so before he could show respect to anyone else he had the right for them to show him respect first,

Now in my day respect was something that you had to earn and not a right

I soon put him right,

His generation are now parents

When you have no respect you will rarely find discipline but you will always find these people always no their rights

Happy that my children always show respect have discipline and "understand" their rights

Roy

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 18 Feb 2013 14:16

What a strange school your son went to, Roy. Did you question them about what you were told?

I've taught in a lot of schools and not one would have taught that.

Porkie_Pie

Porkie_Pie Report 18 Feb 2013 14:21

Guinevere, Yes i did, They stood by what my son was taught and told me respect is NOT something you earn, but it is your right, that was in 1981

Roy

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 18 Feb 2013 14:29

Very odd. I'd have shifted my son out of that school ASAP.

First time I've ever heard of such a thing.