General Chat

That's brilliant Maggie and that teacher is to be commended. Thank you for sharing that story. :-)

I worked in a school with 2 boys (in different classes) with Aspergers/Autism.
One was hilarious. I sat with him during tech drawing. The teacher was lovely.
The boy was extremely intelligent, and my aim with him, was to deter him from his obsessions.
So, he'd start talking about Nazis - some of his obsessions weren't particularly PC - and I'd have to find a way to subtly deflect this. It certainly kept the brain working, and for 'homework' I'd read up about the things he was obsessed with to find crafty ways of turnng the conversation.
I think it was about the second time I'd been with him. At the end of the class, a boy nearby turned to me and said 'I've never heard so many different topics discussed in an hour! Certainly makes 'D' seem more interesting'
As time went on, other children joined in our 'conversation', it was brilliant - they all knew what was expected (deferring unsuitable topics) and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves. 'D' was accepted for what he was AND he was learning to socialise, and learn what was acceptable - the other children soon put him right if he committed a faux pas - both in and outside the classroom..
Unfortunately this was the only teacher who saw the benefits to ALL the children in this activity.

my nephew is autistic... very high functioning.. and i love him dearly.........

Valid points indeed Maggie and Sylvia and such folk are known as The Forgotten Generation.


I occasionally watch the TV programme 'Heir Hunters' and never cease to be amazed at the number of cases they deal with, where the deceased is described as being someone who:

'liked their own company'

'kept to a routine'

'lived all their lives with their parent(s)'

'didn't socialise'

'was extremely intelligent'

'obsessive about something'

'withdrew into their own world'

'found dead after no-one had missed them'


Each time I hear those words uttered, I just wonder .......and my heart goes out to them.


My daughter is onesuch.....no help was available when we so badly needed it, we were simply pushed from pillar to post and left to get on with things ourselves.
Even after diagnosis, the support is very limited and that is why I am so keen on campaigning to raise awareness for adults with the condition.


Children with autism grow up to be adults with autism - something needs to be put in place for them sooner rather than later.


My daughter is part of The Forgotten Generation but, I am doing my best to make sure that she is not forgotten when we are no longer here to support her.

maggie ........

that is sad.



The problem I have come across is not the person on the spectrum who needs care and security

............... but the person at the very top end of the spectrum,


the very high achieving Asperger's

The one who is perfectly capable of holding down and excelling in a high-powered job, get 4 or 5 university degrees, marry, have a family .............

.......... but has no idea of social skills, becomes obsessive about "things", "habits", "interests".

The person who was never diagnosed when young as either super-bright or on the autistic spectrum ................ often because that diagnosis was not available when they had to repeat 1st or 2nd year in primary school 30 or 40 or more years ago.


They might be super-bright in some areas, but not in others, often because they are not interested in that subject(s). That is what leads to their difficulties in the school system. And repeating the year is considered to "have solved the problem".


They usually manage very well when they get into higher grades of secondary and post-secondary education, because they can then concentrate on their areas of interest.

They are hopeless at social skills, have never been told how their actions affect others, because their unsocial habits have always been considered by family to be "Oh, that's just Billy's way"


I doubt very much whether an autistic who needs care would even be marrying, thus the sudden entrance into another family's life would not enter into it.

Sylvia, there are a lot of undiagnosed people on the Autism spectrum now in care homes. At work, we are trying to find ways to make their (and the care workers) lives easier.
One of the problems is, we are also encouraging care homes to to be too regimented - the very situation that provides security to autistic spectrum people :-S

One of my great uncles was probably on the autistic spectrum.
When g gran died, he lived with his youngest brother and his wife. He went to work every day as an upholsterer for Southern Railways. Apparently a boring job, but methodical.
Problems arose when he retired - his routine had gone, he was disruptive, awkward and very unhappy.
Eventually his brother put him in a home (1960's) - and he was happy again.
I never met him, and only found out recently that, for 2 years, he was in a home 5 minutes walk from me, and didn't die until 1983, aged 82.

yes

Thank you, Cynthia, for this


It is also not only having an autistic spectrum child

It also might be a person who marries into your family who is on the spectrum .................... and that means that you are suddenly dealing with an unknown when everyone is adult.

and one of the problems with adults is that many, if not most or all, have received no treatment EVER because they were never diagnosed.

Well Rollo, my daughter for one, is not at all distressed by Autism Day. In fact, she has gone overboard in trying to promote it.


I take it you have some experience of the condition?


She does not want or particularly like cats. She prefers birds or lizards.

Cx

There are degrees of autism, it is not always a bad thing.

Autistic people have a different perspective on life to what is usually considered to be the "norm". There can be many positives in this.

The worst possible thing is to regard the treatment of autistic people as somehow getting them to abide by the "norms". Even if they understand from a logical point of view what the "norm" is they may not want any of it.

The very illogical and inconsistent behavior of many "normal" people can be extremely distressing to autistic people, including events such as Autism Day.

Cats are good.

My daughter has high functioning Asperger's and was only diagnosed at the age of 32.

The difficulties we have been through are nothing compared to the traumas which others suffer and my heart goes out to them.

On FB, there are many sites dealing with autism in all its forms, and some of the posts from distressed parents are heartbreaking.

So much needs to be done to continue to raise awareness of this condition in order for families to get the support they deserve.



Thank you for your comments......... :-)

My grand daughter has autism and alot of other problems to like ADHA OCD sensory. My daughter has been trying since she was 2 and half to get help and we are just started to get it and grand daughter is now 7 this month.

She doesnt sleep and when asleep is still on the go, she sleepwalks as well

Its very hard i have her every other weekend and about in school hols when i can as i am not in good health myself. Also my daughter has MS. People dont know what it is like having a child with these problem and to busy looking at the mum as if she isnt doing anything Plus as they dont recognize it in girls only in boys.

Thinking of anyone who has a child like it,

Hazelx

We look after our son because he is just that, our son. If we didn't then he would have to be taken in to care, a residential home. We don't want that to happen until it absolutely has to, when we can no longer look after him, so he stays at home with us. It means one person always has to be in the house with him, so severely restricts what we can do together. Respite helps, but its only a few days a year. We can't take him on holiday because that's out of his routine and he hates it, so no none gets a holiday. But he is still our son.

Andy

I work with autistic children and they can wear me out through a schoolday.

All power to their wonderful parents and carers who get so little respite and, in some cases, no love shown by their children afflicted with autism :-(

Your hearts must be broken every day ((((HUGS))))) and genuine respect to all of you.

xx

Andrew wasnt till we were helped with the DLA form for laddo realised how much we do without realising it, not looking forward to filling out more forms for him when it changes over. Became more apparent when he turned 16 and they had to come and see him to see if he wanted his money or have us manage it for him if we had let him have it he would of used it to buy pop and chocolate and computer games, he really doesnt have a clue .

Dont think people realise how stressful it is the constant asking to do things and the battle everyday just to get through .

I have a 23 year old son at the severe end of the autistic spectrum. We are cureently going through the ESA process for him (He will never be able to work or live independently). Its not until you write everything about him down that you realise how much effort is required to keep him safe and well.

Andy

I agree with what everyone says.

So many are on the autistic spectrum and it's not always obvious
I know one older woman who is really disliked by her ( older) workmates
They believe her to be rude, selfish, set in her ways and unable to take a joke.
Oddly only the younger members of the workforce can see that this woman portrays classic signs of....Aspergers Syndrome.

Lets all think twice before we judge others

Thank you Cynthia....:)

my sister in USA has 2 boys with this condition....they are such lovely boys too. l have met them and they are brilliant, but not seen them on a down day. Their mum is a teacher in this field too and just received an award:)))))

jude :) xxxx

Bumping up before it disappears off page one.

Cynthia - by bringing this into people's minds it will hopefully make people think twice before making rude comments when a child who is "old enough to know better" appears to behaving badly in shopping centres or can't cope with a large gathering because there are too many people and they can't handle the noise. Young people who are happier sitting on a computer than playing team sports and find the classroom a nightmare. Thank you <3