General Chat

I was in a cafe today, and there were three very large ladies in there. Excuse me, I said, are you ladies Scottish ? One of the gave me a really dirty look and said "Wales". I'm sorry, I said, but are you three whales Scottish ?.........and that's the last thing I remembered until I woke up ! :-D

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thats where you shouldve held your Hapenny

Annina
Brilliant
That really made me laugh, better than the joke itself :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D


George

I should have put them between my knees to hold my legs together. :-D :-D :-D

Good laugh,I swear that the reason I had 5 kids was because my useless husband was too embarassed to ask for condons.

His pockets were always full of asparins!!

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A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, 'This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. 'Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought.
However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you.' 'But wait,' he said. 'If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!' 'Really? Great! Show me!' So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking. 'Well,' said the interviewer, 'that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over, the country!' 'Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!' 'Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?' 'Oh, that,' he sighed. 'Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?'

George