General Chat

A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Central London and tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish hands over the keys and documents of a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the Log Book and everything checks out. The manager agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's General Manager and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the rough looking Scotsman for using a £120,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, Hamish returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41.

The manager says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?”

Hamish replies: "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return:"

Ah, the mind of the Scotsman....

Ive heard that one before ,still makes me laugh though.
:-D :-D

:-D :-D very good

I haven't heard it before, Trish. I quite enjoyed it.

Have you heard this one? Hope no one will be offended. (Perish the thought!)

HIGH URINALS

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs, Kentucky) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade."

"No, ma'am," he replied.

"I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help........"