General Chat

Lynda. You suck me in with all your common sense and good advice.

I have felt a bit sad today. So I have just danced round the living room, as per avatar. And have pulled a muscle (to be honest, didn't realise I had any left) :-( :-( :-(

Things have certainly changed with the internet, I'm sure there have always been the scammers, who prey on the vulnerable, but now there are more of them, those who look out for people who say they are lonely, or those who don't say it, but imply it, then there are people who say they are lonely, upset, sad etc, to pull in the kind sympathetic folk, and before you know it, they've been fleeced, violated or just plain conned out of there possessions, and been taken advantage of.

There's also the ones who feign illness, or say they are doing something for charity, but forget to mention it's there own charity, seen it happen before my eyes, have warned the preyed on person, they ignored it, then have been fleeced, it's frightening to how blinkered some people are.

Just because someone asks for friendship, money, your password to whatever, to "help you out" really doesn't mean that person is a good one. If a stranger stopped you in the street and asked for money, your password, or where you lived, you wouldn't tell them, think of the internet as a stranger asking you details, you have no idea if "Mary from Gateshead" is really "Joseph from Brighton"

Think before you give out your details, although not everyone is a wolf in sheep's clothing, some are, please beware of these people for your own sake.

John , at least no one has ever called you "The AntiChrist" ;-)

Thanks Rose.

I did a lot of genealogy research in the 80's - on and off computer. Never gave security a second thought. No shredders that I can remember. So very many nice people to help mutually.

And when I was building my big tree and helping others and they were helping me, almost everyone on Genes was really nice.

Came on chat 17 months ago (for first time ever) cos it looked quite fun and to complain about new tree. And then the heavens opened. And I have never felt I was offensive or hateful about anyone.

People were checking me on electoral register, sending private messages around that have never been shared with me, describing one of my houses, for example. It was probably the most horrible experience of my 67 years. I would know how to deal with it now. But it really set my health back for a few months - absolutely and totally unnecessary violation of my privacy. So, yes, very good riddance to those who thought they were clever. Sincerely hope it never happens to you.

John I don't think that this hobby is attracting the wrong sort of people as such, it's more that the 'wrong sort of people' look for boards which are 'comfortable' ie on which you can reasonably expect to find a certain type of person to exploit if that is your intent.

eg Family history attracts perhaps older people ( less savvy or new to the internet in some cases), people who have enough time on their hands to be , in some cases, lonely ( missing grown up family or work and are therefore perhaps more trusting of a 'friendly approach'?).

The good AND bad thing about genealogy sites is that many of us on them are pretty good at research ( and have developed good memories also) , which makes it easier to find out about other members, most use that info responsibly...some use it to their own ends.

Well, a couple who made me feel very unsafe have left/are leaving. Wish I had had some advice from Lynda and Joy in early days (18 months ago). Perhaps I did, and ignored advice because I thought no-one could upset me. Well, one or two really did. And good riddance to them.

Not many years ago, family historians happily used real names and swapped all sorts of personal details. What sort of people is our hobby attracting these days :-( :-0

Hard won sense in my case Lynda :-|

We are so sensible Rose aren't we :-D

Thanks to GR, my comment on the other thread has been reinstated, all is well on planet earth :-D

reposting what I added on the other thread, with a little bit of editing.

I think it safe to say that there are many genuine posters on here who are exactly what they seem to be, but it is always well to err on the side of caution on the internet, especially if you take it off the open board so to speak ...for example I once joined an internet pen-pal site and was 'surprised' that so many people suddenly acquired my email addy ( not my usual one) and wished to share their millions with me if only I could give them my bank details in order to pay it in

and of course there is always the danger of the serial philanderer ( they come in both genders) and are all too plausible ( trust me I know!).

Advice to anyone is look closely at the type of posts someone makes over a good period of time, and the interactions between them and other members, and you 'usually' get an idea of who is likely to be a straightforward and genuine friend.

But as with all friendships, let it grow slowly and never, never, never, ever ( lol) give them any details that could lose you money, your home, or your heart, or your sanity , or that you certainly wouldn't want your 'worst enemy' to know ! ;-)

Having just added a suggestion about thinking about who you give personal details to on another thread, "someone" decided to rr my comments, which in a nutshell just said to be careful what sort of information you give out about yourself.

For someone to rr my comments makes me wonder if the sort of person I was talking about, rr'd it, because what decent person would take offence at looking out for another persons safety?

So just be careful what you say about yourself, as to where you actually live, if you live alone, if your lonely, and not to give out any passwords for anything.

If you take offence at the comments, then take a look at yourself, I've added them because I'd hate to see anyone taken for a ride.

Have your wits about you.