General Chat

For a couple of years I think we can say that Sharron has not really been here. OH would come home from work to find a bowl of spuds in the sink, one peeled, and me in the corner of the sofa knitting dishcloths.

Over time I have noticed that I have been able to do something I have not done for some time. One example was that we bought a mixer at the Kenwood factory and the box wouldn't fit in the Smart so we had to go home and get the other car. Rather than get back indoors where I was safe, I went back to the factory with OH.

After having my head shaved, we decided we would have a night away, the first I have had in ten years, if I felt up to it. I did, walked through a couple of service areas with a bald head and we stayed in a hotel in Burnley so that I could get a bit of patchwork stuff in Colne. I did some of the driving, through the Dales AND part way down the M1.

Where there was once a bowl of spuds to show for my endeavours I have just realized what I have in the kitchen. There is bread pudding from the bread left from the bacon sandwiches at the head shave, a raspberry and blackberry pie, a summer pudding in the making AND the crusts have been breadcrumbed and put in the freezer where there is also some rasbperry ice-cream I have made.. There is a pan of beetroot soup on the hob and a pan of pasta sauce which might pass as bolo. There is a bowl of soap powder drying on the kitchen table too.

The housework is going to take longer, lot of psychological issues from my childhood there, and the ironing is taking a bit of time to get to grips with but I am getting things a little better organized every day.

I think there is a way to go yet but I am very pleased that I have done it without resorting to medication. Light at the end of the tunnel.

Well done Sharron. Small steps can only lead to big ones.

I admire you for what you are doing after what you have been through.

Keep going.

All the best
Phyll

Thank you Phyll. It's been a long time coming but it feels pretty good.

Small steps at a time

It does take a lot out of folks being a carer and you did it for longer than I did for my OH

It's been a strange year too for me . I would sit in the chair and cry my eyes out talking to OH and telling him how much I miss him and wanting to be with him.

It takes a lot to try and move on and get back into the "normal " world

The last piece of music at OH funeral was this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2kBiVLmDZoc

I would sit and play the YouTube over and over and have tears rolling down my face .

But you need to accept they have gone and try to make a life again for yourself

I have great admiration for your care of your dad and do feel for the way it affected you at the time and after he passed

Well done Sharron you are stronger than you thought. Onwards and upwards now then.

Shirley too, you are doing well, your OH would be proud of you. <3

I don't think it was missing him that made me ill. To be honest, I didn't and don't miss him. He was 94 and we were all ready, it was as if his time had been filled and there was nothing more to go into his life.

It was exhaustion, the result of living my life under extreme stress from a very early age and the thing that pushed me over the edge was the treatment from the Job Centre which was cruel.

It was going to happen, I think, but the time had to be right although I think I may have been more ill than I realized.

It was so different for you Shirley, he was your husband. I was lucky that Fred was with us to the end mentally, apart from times when his sodium was awry which I found very hard to deal with. I think you had it considerably worse than I did.

More power to your elbow, Sharron!! :-D
Exhaustion is something you slowly descend in to. The ascend out is probably slower.

Glad you can see the edge :-D :-D :-D